Cheney to Pope: 'I've Been Thinking Unkind Thoughts About News Media'

Vice President Dick Cheney spoke at the annual Radio and Television Correspondents dinner Wednesday evening, and poked fun at members of the news media, gave advice to Mitt Romney about getting himself on the list of potential Republican vice presidential candidates, chided Nobel Laureate Al Gore and his goofy ideas about global warming, and even made fun of himself being referred to by detractors as Darth Vader.

All in all, during his last vice presidential performance at this event, Cheney was quite a hit.

What follows are some of his best lines (video embedded upper right):

• You all know how to make a guy feel welcomed. Obviously, you're not the kind to look down on a bitter man who clings to his guns.
• When the moment was right, I even took the Pope aside and confided to him that I've been thinking a lot of unkind thoughts lately about the news media.
• Instead of the successor to St. Peter, you're stuck with me, the successor to St. Al.
• I have no doubt that we are in the midst of a global warming, or, as I prefer to call it, spring. And, I don't want to sound like an alarmist, but it's going to get a lot warmer before it gets cooler.
• I want you to know that I'm doing my part to meet the crisis by reducing my carbon footprint big time. Every time I am rushed to the hospital, I insist on a hybrid ambulance.
• Even my wife seems to think my image needs polishing. At breakfast today, I asked Lynne if deep down it bugs her that people have taken to calling me Darth Vader. She said, "Not at all. It humanizes you."
• In case you don't know it, Mo [Rocca's] blog is titled "MoRocca 180, only half as tedious as the regular news." Among his other credits, Mo used to host a TV show called, "Things I Hate About You." I'm sure I've seen that program, only I believe it's now called "Countdown with Keith Olbermann."
• I'm old news in this election, but I want a piece of the action. I'm fired up for my candidate, but the feeling isn't always returned. I feel kind of like Bill Clinton.
• You in the press need to go easy on Sen. Clinton on the whole business about running and ducking from gun fire in Bosnia. She made an honest mistake. She confused her Bosnia trip with the time I took her hunting.
• But since it is our last time together at this dinner, I think it's enough to leave you with words I once addressed to Sen. Pat Leahy.

Hehehehehe.