Cheney to Pope: 'I've Been Thinking Unkind Thoughts About News Media'

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Vice President Dick Cheney spoke at the annual Radio and Television Correspondents dinner Wednesday evening, and poked fun at members of the news media, gave advice to Mitt Romney about getting himself on the list of potential Republican vice presidential candidates, chided Nobel Laureate Al Gore and his goofy ideas about global warming, and even made fun of himself being referred to by detractors as Darth Vader.

All in all, during his last vice presidential performance at this event, Cheney was quite a hit.

What follows are some of his best lines (video embedded upper right):

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  • You all know how to make a guy feel welcomed. Obviously, you're not the kind to look down on a bitter man who clings to his guns.
  • When the moment was right, I even took the Pope aside and confided to him that I've been thinking a lot of unkind thoughts lately about the news media.
  • Instead of the successor to St. Peter, you're stuck with me, the successor to St. Al.
  • I have no doubt that we are in the midst of a global warming, or, as I prefer to call it, spring. And, I don't want to sound like an alarmist, but it's going to get a lot warmer before it gets cooler.
  • I want you to know that I'm doing my part to meet the crisis by reducing my carbon footprint big time. Every time I am rushed to the hospital, I insist on a hybrid ambulance.
  • Even my wife seems to think my image needs polishing. At breakfast today, I asked Lynne if deep down it bugs her that people have taken to calling me Darth Vader. She said, "Not at all. It humanizes you."
  • In case you don't know it, Mo [Rocca's] blog is titled "MoRocca 180, only half as tedious as the regular news." Among his other credits, Mo used to host a TV show called, "Things I Hate About You." I'm sure I've seen that program, only I believe it's now called "Countdown with Keith Olbermann."
  • I'm old news in this election, but I want a piece of the action. I'm fired up for my candidate, but the feeling isn't always returned. I feel kind of like Bill Clinton.
  • You in the press need to go easy on Sen. Clinton on the whole business about running and ducking from gun fire in Bosnia. She made an honest mistake. She confused her Bosnia trip with the time I took her hunting.
  • But since it is our last time together at this dinner, I think it's enough to leave you with words I once addressed to Sen. Pat Leahy.

Hehehehehe.

—Noel Sheppard is the Associate Editor of NewsBusters. Follow him at Facebook and Twitter.


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POTUS, VP funnier than their comedian critics

The President and the Vice President have delivered much funnier material about themselves than the commedians have aimed at them the last seven years. Someone really ought to compile a DVD of their humor.

When you put the clowns in charge, don't be surprised when a circus breaks out.

I am so tickled you put

I am so tickled you put this on here Noel...I commented while this was going on last night in the debate thread....this was some of the funniest stuff I have heard politically in a long long time...he came out in that cowboy hat and dark glasses too it fit right in with the jokes purposely...it was all great...but his last line was the best, he said it all to the msm....I roared with laughter!

I still wished he would of run..... *sigh* 

"Never murder your opponent when he is committing suicide." ~ W. Churchill

I laughed out loud when I

I laughed out loud when I heard some of his comments.

Whether anyone here likes

Whether anyone here likes Romney or not he was a riot too last night.

"Never murder your opponent when he is committing suicide." ~ W. Churchill

Too funny.

I have no doubt that we are in the midst of a global warming, or, as I prefer to call it, spring. And, I don't want to sound like an alarmist, but it's going to get a lot warmer before it gets cooler.

This is too funny.  It will now be in my email signature line.  Credited to VP Cheney, of course.

"Instead of the successor

"Instead of the successor to St. Peter, you're stuck with me, the successor to St. Al."

He needs his own late night show.

www.rhjunior.com Great comics with a hefty dose of Christian and anti-nutjob goodness.

"With your mind as high as Mt. Fuji you can see all things clearly. And you can see all the forces that shape events; not just the things near to you." -Miyamoto Musashi

If he were 10 years younger

If he were 10 years younger and had three less heart attacks he would be president by a landslide in 2008! Now we're stuck with McCain, that just sucks! Lord Sidious / Darth Vader 2008  Long Live the Empire!  Come to the Dark Side, it is your Destiny.

Cheney for veep - again!

Cheney for veep - again! Notice how the audience didn't laugh very much?  He hit a little too close to home...