Realtor Complains Lack of Global Warming Hurting Business

Imagine for a moment you're an upscale realtor in the exclusive southeastern part of France called "Provence" driving around with a couple of well-healed prospective buyers hoping to see gorgeous vistas on a sunny, April day only to get caught in a snow storm.

What would you do?

Well, the manager of a British real estate company called VEF, whose office is in Haute Provence, was so angered by this that he wrote a complaint letter to the General Manager of Global Warming in Europe (uncontrollable laughter alert, emphasis added):

An open letter to the General Manager, Global Warming - Europe
15 April 2008 - Haute Provence office

Dear Sir / Madam As a long time resident of the south east of France, notably the famous region called "Provence", I would like to make a complaint.

Firstly, I am writing to the "General Manager" because I assume that there must be one. With so many "experts" in the world, someone somewhere must manage them. I assume.

I have spent the day with 2 people from the south of England who are very serious about buying a property in northern Provence. They have read most of my previously published news articles about the climate (300 days of sunshine, Provencal summer and Alpine winters), the exchange rate (which is not getting any better - I have written to Mr. Brown and Mr. Bush too and have expressed my wish for comment by return of post), and the lifestyle which, I hasten to add, seems to be the only thing that is not in jeopardy at the moment.

So, why is it, then, that my clients and I have had to endure a day of driving rain, snow and gale force winds when I would have expected 20 degrees Celsius and deep blue skies? Why is it that spring has been denied the right to break when, according to your "experts", the planet is warming at an alarming rate and that "winter in Europe is a thing of the past"? (Incidentally, would you please also respond to the managers of the 31 ski resorts in Haute-Provence - they would be delighted to hear your explanation as to why they have to open for a good month longer than ten years ago).

Now I can already imagine your response - "we promised you 300 days of sunshine, and you'll have them. Yes, we will send you the snow in the winter, a spectacular spring and the beautiful May to September summer". Would you please, however, make sure that you do it when I have promised that you would?

It's spring now. The calendar says so. if [sic] the planet really is warming up, would you please send some of that warmth down to Provence and the southern Alps, and NOW. As I'm sure you'll appreciate, one of the reasons that people look for French property in Provence is for the predictable weather. So I'm starting to look a bit silly.

I look forward to your swift response - a warm spell would suffice.

Best Regards

Richard Rogers

Manager of the VEF Partner Office in Haute-Provence

Hehehehehe.