Regis and Kelly Admit What More Should: 'We've Got Nothing to Say'

It certainly won't come as any great surprise to most Americans that morning personalities Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa have absolutely nothing of importance to say even though millions actually watch their program on a daily basis.

Yet, what is interesting is that the two know this to be the case, and even celebrate it.

Rather than being disgusted by such a revelation, one might instead wish - especially during the holiday season - that more folks on television - for instance, Rosie O'Donnell, Keith Olbermann, Joy Behar, and Bill Maher just to name a few - would admit the irrelevance of their blathering rather than feign superiority when it comes to understanding the complex issues of the day.

Then, viewers would know they were just being entertained - hopefully, that is! - and wouldn't take anything uttered by such nattering nabobs seriously.

With that in mind, consider Wednesday's discussion between Regis and Kelly, and imagine just how much better the world would be if all the ignorant television personalities admitted their intellectual shortcomings so openly and honestly (video available here):

REGIS: So I went to the annual Phil Donahue/Marlo Thomas Christmas party last night.

KELLY: Yes, tell me.

REGIS: Well, it's just a lot of fun, you know. And the violins are playing

KELLY: It's beautiful. They have a beautiful home, right?

REGIS: Yeah, it's a penthouse up on Fifth Avenue. Just great. And so-and Phil is there with the bowtie. Incidentally, Phil produced a documentary that got a lot of acclaim at the Golden Globes, got his nomination for it. And they're thinking maybe it could get a nomination for the Academy Awards, too.

KELLY: Oh, my gosh!

REGIS: It's Body of War. It's a documentary on Iraq. You know, you don't know what Phil Donahue is doing, because it's so quiet, and then all of a sudden this movie is coming out. Anyway, Mike Wallace was there.

KELLY: Love Mike Wallace.

REGIS: Mike Wallace looks absolutely fabulous, looks like, honest to God, like a leading man... But then you've got to worry about who you're going to sit with and what kind of a conversation you're going to have. So anyway, on my left was Elaine May, you know, the screenwriter-

KELLY: Yes.

REGIS:-former comedian, very funny lady. And on my right was Amy Goodman. And so, I didn't-I was unfamiliar with the name. "What do you do, Amy?" She says, "Well, I have a show on PBS."

KELLY: OK.

REGIS: "What do you do?" She says, "We cover global events."

KELLY: Oh, my gosh!

REGIS: Global news.

KELLY: No wonder we haven't seen it.

REGIS: Well, now, excuse me, but what am I going to have in common with someone who covers global news?

KELLY: What is the global news?

REGIS: The beautiful baby contest? That ain't going to do it!

KELLY: Right.

REGIS: Santa Claus getting pawed? No!

KELLY: Yes.

REGIS: I've got nothing in common.

KELLY: Yes. I know what you're saying. I've been there.

REGIS: Sure.

KELLY: I've been in that anxiety situation, where you realize that you are the weak link at the table, where you go, "Oh, I see. I'm the weak link. I'm the person that-

REGIS: You may be better known than anyone else, because they see you every day on television, but what have we got to say? Nothing.

KELLY: Nothing.

REGIS: We've got nothing to say.

KELLY: Nothing. And they know-and they already know what you've got going on, because you've talked about it that day.

REGIS: We've got nothing.

KELLY: Right.

REGIS: So, what did you do? We talk about nothing.

KELLY: Right.

REGIS: That's it.

KELLY: Mm-hmm.

REGIS: That's it.

KELLY: And then it's sweet, though, because like heady people who are very accomplished-

REGIS: Very smart, very sharp.

KELLY:-they're very good at like, you know, sounding interested, or like, "Well, it must be fascinating, what you're doing." I'm like, "It's very fun. We had hot toys on yesterday. And then, today we're going to make our own shirts out of waste."

REGIS: You're absolutely right. You realize then-

KELLY: You're lacking contribution.

REGIS:-what you are doing. You're doing nothing!

KELLY: Nothing! Gosh, how can you stand us?

REGIS: It's just so sad. It really is. Anyway-

KELLY: You know what you should do, you should make things up that you're doing.

REGIS: Yeah.

KELLY: You know.

REGIS: Oh, yeah. We've covered the Iraq situation. We're moving on now to global warming.

KELLY: Good, yes. Say that. And I'll stand by you.

REGIS: Absolutely.

KELLY: In case I ever get invited to a dinner party, I'll say that, too.

REGIS: "What are you doing about global warming?" "We're staying cold."

How refreshing. The only thing I have to add is, "Who's next?"

C'mon, Keith, Rosie, Bill, Joy, Meredith, Matt, etc., etc. We're waiting!