Exercise Causes Global Warming

In the '80s, rock musician Joe Jackson published a song called "Everything Gives You Cancer."

Recent assertions by England's Green Party parliamentary candidate Chris Goodall suggest that sometime soon, someone - maybe Al Gore sycophant Sheryl Crow - is going to write a hit song called "Everything Causes Global Warming."

As reported by the Times Online Saturday in a piece hysterically titled "Walking to the Shops ‘Damages Planet More Than Going By Car'" (grateful h/ts to all NBers and readers who forwarded this article for consideration, emphasis added throughout):

Walking does more than driving to cause global warming, a leading environmentalist has calculated.

Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes. Provided, of course, they remembered to switch off the TV rather than leaving it on standby.

Absolutely amazing. But there was more:

The sums were done by Chris Goodall, campaigning author of How to Live a Low-Carbon Life, based on the greenhouse gases created by intensive beef production. "Driving a typical UK car for 3 miles [4.8km] adds about 0.9 kg [2lb] of CO2 to the atmosphere," he said, a calculation based on the Government's official fuel emission figures. "If you walked instead, it would use about 180 calories. You'd need about 100g of beef to replace those calories, resulting in 3.6kg of emissions, or four times as much as driving.

"The troubling fact is that taking a lot of exercise and then eating a bit more food is not good for the global atmosphere. Eating less and driving to save energy would be better."

Now, just imagine where this insanity could go:

• Gymnasiums and athletic clubs closed to slow global warming
• Jogging made illegal to slow global warming
• Golf banned to slow global warming
• All organized sporting events including amateur, collegiate and professional banned to slow global warming.

Is it becoming obvious the amount of control environmentalists seek over personal behavior all in the name of global warming?

If you doubted for a second just how far socialists around the world are looking to take this issue, doubt no further.

Talk to you all later. I'm heading to the gym to add some CO2 to the atmosphere, and consume a huge amount of calories after my workout to compensate for those burned during it.

Here's hoping you all do the same.