Liberal humorist Andy Borowitz writes political satire for the "Borowitz Report," long featured by Newsweek. He's now a popular blogger on The Huffington Post and last year, his Twitter feed was honored as the world's best by Time magazine. This means that liberals really love humor that doesn't have to be funny as long as it's mean toward conservatives.
Borowitz began his Super Tuesday Republican-bashing on Twitter by linking back to his "news" feature: "Poll: Given Choice Between Romney and Santorum, Most Voters Choose Suicide." But Borowitz really hates Santorum, calling him a terrorist, an inquistor, and a mental patient (repeatedly).
Terrorist: "In a Jean-Claude Van Damme film, Romney would be the President & Santorum would be a CEO who is really a terrorist."
Mental Patient: "IHOP's Super Tuesday was better because it had free sausage links and no mental patients in sweater vests." (This received a praise tweet from actor Henry Winkler: "You define funny.")
Mental Patient 2: "OHIO: Romney Trailing Mental Patient in Sweater Vest"
Mental Patient 3: "BREAKING: Ohio Now a Toss-up Between Robot and Mental Patient"
His Fans are Mental Patients: "Exit Poll: Santorum doing extremely well among voters who describe themselves as 'off my meds.'"
Sex Clubber: "Trivia: In a weird coincidence, "Exit Pole" is also the name of the sex club Rick Santorum frequents."
Inquisitor: "Santorum is only running for President because the position of Spanish Inquisitor was no longer available."
From the 13th Century: CNN: Rick Santorum is about to speak from his campaign headquarters in the 13th Century.
Pro-Starvation: Santorum: "I oppose contraception, and favor the alternatives, overpopulation and starvation."
D-Bag: "I'm going to call Super Tuesday early and predict that the winner will be a massive douchebag."
D-Bag 2: "CNN: If these numbers hold up in Ohio, a massive douchebag will defeat a ginormous dick."
Borowitz also mocked Romney, Gingrich, and Paul. He imagined Romney saying "I'm going to win without one fucking poor person's vote. Wait, is this microphone on?" He also wrote a Borowitz article headlined "In Possible Gaffe, Romney Says Poor People ‘Taste Like Chicken’."
