Vanity Fair Fawningly Begs Obama to Take Starring Role in Hip-Hop 'Hamilton' on Broadway

June 6th, 2016 2:54 PM

If you haven’t heard, the hottest, most heavily hyped show on Broadway will be losing many of its cast members in the next few months due to expiring contracts.  One of those cast members is Lin-Manuel Miranda – writer and star of the Broadway hit show Hamilton. Laura Bradley of Vanity Fair magazine wrote a “Hypothetical Celebrity Casting” piece, and this my friends, shows the shark contrast between tacky Hollywood and the actual art of Broadway acting.

Bradley wrote that Amy Schumer would be a great replacement because, “he’s an avid fan—after all, she loved Hamilton so much that she tried to get Miranda’s help on her own Betsy Ross musical.” Is that all one has to do to become a replacement on one of the best Broadway shows of all time – to be an “avid fan?”

That’s not holding the bar high at all, and if Schumer wasn’t a bad enough example, Bradley actually suggests Kanye West – yes, Mr. “Yeezus” himself.  Bradley writes, “When West came to see the show, Miranda himself told him backstage, “This whole show is about you. It’s all about you—and Washington’s Jay-Z.” Really? Because I thought the play was about American history – but what do I know?

She then makes an appeal for “Chance the Rapper” since he "actually knows a thing or two about making musical history—his new mixtape, Coloring Book, was the first streaming-only album to land on the Billboard 200 chart. Obviously, the guy has talent—and, conveniently enough, he also loves Hamilton.” How convenient.

If Bradley’s examples of replacing a top-notch actor with Kardashian level “talent,” it’s the next one she absolutely fawns over – practically giving the spotlight to this next person – Barack Obama. Why?  Because it would solidify him as being “America’s Coolest President,” because, you know, that’s what we look for in a president – not strength or loyalty to one’s country – no, we look for the “coolness” factor:

As exciting as all the other options would be, there’s one choice that stands out above all the rest: don’t sleep on Barry O. After he finishes up his current gig, one has to wonder what our nation’s president is going to get up to. If President Obama can convince the minds behind Hamilton to wait a few months (so he can wrap up that whole “running the country” thing), him playing Hamilton would be a great coup for both sides. What better get for a musical that’s all about American history—one that amplifies voices from people of color to tell its story—than the first black president? Obama also wouldn’t want to miss the chance to cement himself once and for all as America’s Coolest President.

Obama is perhaps one of the musical’s biggest fans: he was one of the first people to hear its opening track back in 2009; he saw it twice last year; he’s said that Hamilton is a “favorite” in his household; he even freestyled with Miranda himself at the White House a couple months ago. If someone gave him his shot, there’s basically no chance he’d throw it away. Sure, there are many, many more plausible possibilities, including an entire industry full of Broadway professionals. But come on, don’t you want to see this happen anyway?”

No, Ms. Bradley.  Not at all.