Admitted anti-Catholic Samantha Bee ranted against St. Louis, Missouri's archbishop on Monday's Full Frontal for his letter asking his parishes to "strongly consider" cutting ties with the Girl Scouts. Bee used an out-of-context quote from the prelate during a civil lawsuit on priestly sex abuse to attack him as not the "best person to judge what you do with your body." After revealing a large stack of Girl Scout cookies on her set, Bee cracked, "You can eat your cookies; you give them to a shelter; or just throw them at a passing archbishop." [video below]
The TBS host first played a clip from a local newscast in St. Louis that reported that "the archbishop [Robert Carlson] cites conflicts at the international level over contraception and abortion." She continued with a lewd remark about scouts of both sexes: "First of all, if you don't want girls getting knocked up, and you won't let them have contraception, you better teach the Boy Scouts to use some of those fancy knots on their dicks."
Bee then played the soundbite from the civil lawsuit, which set up further snark about birth control: "Is child molestation a crime? Who knows? But I'm positive, Jesus hates your diaphragm." The left-wing comedian included one more clip from the St. Louis-area news program, which noted the archbishop's disapproval of "Girl Scout associations with organizations such as a Amnesty International." Bee added, "I guess trying to stop the beheading of political prisoners doesn't count as pro-life enough for him." Of course, the TBS host failed to mention that Amnesty International became pro-abortion in 2007.
The liberal comedian's foray into anti-Catholicism shouldn't come as no surprise. During a June 2010 interview on NPR, Bee admitted that it was "joyful" and a "pure pleasure" to mock the Catholic Church.
The transcript of the segment from TBS's Full Frontal With Samantha Bee on February 29, 2016:
SAMANTHA BEE: Now, for reasons I can't fathom — because Ashley made me boycott the Oscars — the Girl Scouts are all over my Twitter feed this morning. I can only assume everyone's talking about this.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE REPORTER 1 (voice-over, from KHQA TV news broadcast): The Girl Scouts of Eastern Missouri and the Archdiocese of St. Louis have partnered in leadership programs for young women for almost a hundred years. But last week, an archbishop issued a letter asking pastors to cut ties with local Girl Scout troops.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE REPORTER 2 (from KRCG TV news broadcast): The archbishop cites conflicts at the international level over contraception and abortion.
BEE: Okay. First of all, if you don't want girls getting knocked up, and you won't let them have contraception, you better teach the Boy Scouts to use some of those fancy knots on their dicks. (audience cheers and applauds) And secondly, I'm not sure the archbishop who released this statement, Robert Carlson, is the best person to judge what you do with your body.
UNIDENTIFIED MAN (off-camera, from civil court case): Archbishop, you knew the crime for an adult to engage in sex with a kid.
ARCHBISHOP ROBERT CARLSON: I'm not sure whether I knew it was a crime or not.
BEE: Is child molestation a crime? Who knows? But I'm positive, Jesus hates your diaphragm. (audience laughs) Is that all that's got the bishop's cassock in a twist?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE REPORTER 2 (from KRCG TV news broadcast): Conflicts over the promotion of feminists Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan as role models, and Girl Scout associations with organizations such as a Amnesty International.
BEE: I guess trying to stop the beheading of political prisoners doesn't count as pro-life enough for him. (audience laughs) But if you think we're going to let you financially hurt the Girl Scouts of Eastern Missouri, you have underestimated our love of girl power — and our love of cookies. (audience cheers and applauds) We bought — we bought a shit ton of them for our audience, and you can buy some, too. Buy lots of them. Go to our website, where you can donate directly to the Girl Scouts of America. (audience cheers and applauds) You can eat your cookies — you can eat your cookies; you give them to a shelter; or just throw them at a passing archbishop. I'm not sure whether or not that's a crime or not. Good night, everybody!
