Daily Show Begs Hillary: ‘We Need You to Be Our Boss!’

May 27th, 2016 9:18 AM

On Thursday night’s Daily Show, correspondent Michelle Wolf begged Clinton to “be our boss” in a segment devoted to convincing viewers that Clinton’s likeability and email scandal were no big deal. Wolf tried to spin Clinton’s honesty and likeability issues into a positive, asserting that Clinton was what “America needs:” “a no-nonsense, indoor sunglass-wearing boss lady who eats enemies and [bleep] policy!”

Wolf began by complaining, “ [Y]ou're not running to be everybody's friend. You're running to be the boss and no one likes their boss.” She showed a picture of Clinton wearing sunglasses on a plane, looking down at her phone and said:

WOLF: Hillary just needs to be herself. Remember this picture? That's who we need to run the world! A no-nonsense, indoor- sunglass-wearing on her own plane boss lady who eats enemies and (bleep) policy!

“You don’t need to be liked to be effective,” Wolf added, before comparing Clinton to braces. She downplayed the email issue as something no one knows anything about or matters.

Hilary is braces. They’re awkward, painful,  you don't want to be seen with them but they get the job done. What is this controversy even about? E-mails, a server. We’re all walking around here pretending  like we know what a server is. Yeah, I could definitely point it out in this room! The only question we should ask about the e-mails is did they get where they're supposed to go? Yes? Well, shut the (bleep) up. (Cheers and applause) Oh, no! She has a shrill voice! It hurts my manhood! Look, take it from someone else who has a shrill voice, maybe it's not her problem, maybe you just need to fix your bitch-ass ears!

Finally Wolf begged Clinton, “We need you to be our boss” to save America from “King Trump.”

The point is no one likes their boss. Hillary we, need you to be our boss. We don't want you to be but we need you to be because if you aren't, in a couple of years, we are going to be eating grilled squirrel from a hole in the ground with our children asking, but why do we have to live like this, mommy? And we'll have to respond, we didn't vote for the smart lady because of some e-mails she sent from a different server. And the child will say, what's a server? And we'll say, I don't know Kevin! I never [bleep] knew, now shut up and eat your squirrel before King Trump comes back, Trevor!