Clearly shaken as the entire country has been since Sunday’s horrifying Islamic terror attack in Orlando, TBS’s Full Frontal host Samantha Bee opened her Monday night show by discussing the shooting in her predictably vile manner as she openly prayed that people in the National Rifle Association (NRA) would be plagued with boils and declared she does want to take our guns away.
Bee offered her first segment as a cold open and after ruling that uplifting messages following tragedies are well-intentioned, she declared “f**k it” because “[l]ove does not win, unless we start loving each other enough to fix our f**cking problems” of gun violence.
After a soundbite from Democratic Senator Chris Murphy (Ct.), Bee mentioned the name of the shooter but declined to explain his ties toradical Islam but framed him as a 20-something loner who took too many mirror selfies.
She then touted President Obama as the predictor of this incident as he complained to a PBS NewsHour audience on June 1 that the NRA is preventing him from banning people on the no-fly list from owning a gun.
“Obama may have been explaining that vulnerability in our gun laws at the very moment the Orlando shooter was taking advantage of it. Did the shooter just watch PBS NewsHour and go, hey, that's what I should go,” she added.
Naturally, Bee misled her audience with that point as the Muslim extremist was not on any no-fly or watch list at the time he purchased the murder weapons because the FBI had concluded that they didn’t have enough substantial evidence to bring him up on any charges.
Bee moved onto attacking her favorite public enemy in Republicans as Senator Marco Rubio (Fl.) stated on Sunday that it was unfortunately “Orlando’s turn” to suffer the wrath of terrorism.
While Rubio’s choice of words are up for debate and certain he didn’t mean it in a condescending way, Bee took issue with Rubio before highlighting the gun control lobby’s model example in Australia and smearing Founding Father James Madison:
Australia had five mass shootings between 1987 and 1996. Then the public decided that was no fun. Parliament passed strict gun laws and they haven't had a mass shooting since then. Let me repeat that. Australia hasn't had a single mass shooting since the Fresh Prince left Bel Air and was never heard from again! Of course, you know — Australia doesn't have a second amendment. Love you, Madison! Congratulations on your Tony, but you really [EXPLETIVE] us with that one. We can't constitutionally get rid of all guns. But can't we get semiautomatic assault rifles out of the hands of civilians?
At peak outrage, Bee noted that some viewers may be thinking that she’s advocating for “tak[ing] your guns away” and she confirmed that desire on the spot:
Sam Bee wants to take your guns away! Yes. The ones that mow down a roomful of people in seconds? Yes, I do want to take those guns away! These high-capacity penis substitutes are a shitty choice for hunting and home protection, but perfect for portable mayhem.
Republican Governor Rick Scott (Fl.) was also not spared the vitriol of the host (who reminds this writer of a candidate in consistently going for maximum outrage with these jabs):
BEE: What? What? Okay. Bye-bye! Later, skater. Don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you. Seriously, that guy bolted so fast, I'm surprised every wall in the Florida state house doesn't have a Rick Scott hole in it....But he spent most of his administration relaxing Florida's gun laws until they're looser than the twaut of an elephant who just had triplets. I don't know if that's because his head is essentially a semi-jacketed, 209m round point and I don't care
In the final portion of her rant that’s already being hailed by the liberal media, Bee berated Christianity as being worthless seeing as how mass shootings haven’t stopped despite, in her words, “[t]he biggest, most helpful thing you can do to ensure this never happens again is sit quietly in a room with your eyes closed, talking to nobody.”
Totally brushing aside the link to Islamic extremism as the equivalent of “homophobia or white nationalism or a dislike of movies,” Bee demanded that the American people “find the political will to reject a mass shooter per day as the price of freedom.”
Bee concluded by again mocking Christianity by requesting that God plague NRA members with boils:
I'm just going to pray. Are you there, God? It's me, Sam. Please, bless the victims and their friends and families in their time of unspeakable pain. Give us the courage to say no more and while you're at it, please send the NRA a plague of boils. Amen.
The relevant portions of the transcript from TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee on June 14 can be found below.
TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
June 14, 2016
10:30 p.m. Eastern
SAMANTHA BEE: Well, here we are. Now, after a massacre, the standard operating procedure is that you stand on stage and deliver some well-meaning words about how we will get through this together, how love wins, how love conquers hate and that is great. That is beautiful. But you know what? [EXPLETIVE] it! I am too angry for that. Love does not win, unless we start loving each other enough to fix our [EXPLETIVE] problems.
(....)
BEE: Mass shootings have become so frequent in this country, seems like the only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun is another bad guy with a gun who coincidentally came to shoot up the same place. Our mass shooter de jour was Omar Mateen, born in New York. He beat his ex-wife. He had been reported multiple times to his employer as homophobic and “unhinged” and the FBI had twice questioned him for terrorism, but none of these things disqualified him from legally buying a gun that shoots 45 rounds a minute. Not even his terrible mirror selfies. I think we can all agree that if you don't have one friend to hold the phone for you, you' your lone wolf ass doesn’t get a gun. Let this be a lesson, ladies. If someone's Tinder profile is just mirror selfies, they're definitely a murderer. But you know what? Who could have predicted that letting suspected extremists buy guns was a bad idea? Other than Obama, less than two weeks ago.
PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA [on 06/01/16]: I've got people who we know have been on ISIL websites, living here in the United States, U.S. citizens and we're allowed to put them on the no-fly list when it comes to airlines, but because of the National Rifle Association, I cannot prohibit those people from buying a gun.
BEE: Obama may have been explaining that vulnerability in our gun laws at the very moment the Orlando shooter was taking advantage of it. Did the shooter just watch PBS NewHour and go, hey, that's what I should go? You know what? Of course this raises some very thorny questions. Should we restrict people's rights based on scary things they say? Are innocent lives worth less than the sanctity of free speech? Even if it’s hate speech? And what about profiling? These questions are hard. It's a lot easier to just accept that going to a public place carries a non-zero risk of dying in a hail of bullets.
REPUBLICAN SENATOR MARCO RUBIO (Fl.); This could have happened anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, today was Orlando's turn.
BEE: Orlando's turn? Mass shootings are so normalized that we're taking turns? Hey Minnesota, this is Delaware. It's my turn for a mass shooting tomorrow, but I have family visitings. Can you switch mass shootings with me? Thanks, bye! And as for anywhere in the world, not quite sparky. Australia had five mass shootings between 1987 and 1996. Then the public decided that was no fun. Parliament passed strict gun laws and they haven't had a mass shooting since then. Let me repeat that. Australia hasn't had a single mass shooting since the Fresh Prince left Bel Air and was never heard from again! Of course, you know — Australia doesn't have a second amendment. Love you, Madison! Congratulations on your Tony, but you really [EXPLETIVE] us with that one. We can't constitutionally get rid of all guns. But can't we get semiautomatic assault rifles out of the hands of civilians? [APPLAUSE] Sam Bee wants to take your guns away! Yes. The ones that mow down a roomful of people in seconds? Yes, I do want to take those guns away! These high-capacity penis substitutes are a shitty choice for hunting and home protection, but perfect for portable mayhem. That’s right. What Paul Giamatti is to biopics, the highly profitable AR-15 is to deadly mass shooting. It turns up at gay nightclubs, movie theaters and elementary school, colleges, even an office party with coworkers. It's nicknamed America's gun and unlike handguns, it can be bought in Florida with no waiting period. Perhaps the governor would like to comment on that?
(....)
BEE: This wasn't even Orlando's first high-profile gun murder of the weekend! Stop thinking and do something to improve our society!
SCOTT: We're going to continue to work on how we do that, but we’re a resilient state. Bye-bye.
BEE: What? What? Okay. Bye-bye! Later, skater. Don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you. Seriously, that guy bolted so fast, I'm surprised every wall in the Florida state house doesn't have a Rick Scott hole in it.
(....)
SCOTT: Pray for the victims. Pray for their families. Pray that this never happens again.
BEE: You heard the man. The biggest, most helpful thing you can do to ensure this never happens again is sit quietly in a room with your eyes closed, talking to nobody. Wait a minute. We pray after every mass shooting, and yet they keep happening. Maybe we're not praying right. Can we check the instruction manual? “Thus, also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” [APPALUSE] Ah, shit! We were supposed to do something while we prayed? To be fair, Rick Scott did sign a law restricting personal backyard shooting ranges in crowded residential neighbors, which is apparently something you have to tell Floridians not to do. [LAUGHTER] But he spent most of his administration relaxing Florida's gun laws until they're looser than the twaut of an elephant who just had triplets. I don't know if that's because his head is essentially a semi-jacketed, 209m round point and I don't care, because as we were reminded yesterday, controlling lethal weapons through a patchwork of state laws is pretty useless, as long as America still contains roads and Indiana. There is no shortage of troubled 20-somethings out there and whether their radicalized by ISIS or homophobia or white nationalism or a dislike of movies, we are making it far too easy for their derangement to kill us. So, until we as a nation find the political will to reject a mass shooter per day as the price of freedom, I'm just going to pray. Are you there, God? It's me, Sam. Please, bless the victims and their friends and families in their time of unspeakable pain. Give us the courage to say no more and while you're at it, please send the NRA a plague of boils. Amen. We'll be right back. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
