Seth Meyers Trashes ‘Lizard’ Ted Cruz, ‘Fear Mongering’ McCrory Over Bathroom Laws

April 29th, 2016 3:28 PM

Again showing that he’s incapable of being simply humorous without going on liberal rants, NBC’s Late Night host Seth Meyers lashed out overnight Thursday into Friday by touting Ted Cruz as a “lizard dresse[d] up in a suit” and North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory as “fear mongering” for signing into law “hateful and discriminatory” transgender bathroom bills.

Meyers devoted over seven minutes to airing his grievances and even attempted to try and define what being transgender means as “a person's inner-most concept of self.”

The monstrosity began when Meyers first hyped how “the backlash over anti-transgender bathroom laws in Mississippi and North Carolina has intensified this week” as “those laws have already hurt tourism and businesses in those states” with Donald Trump initially taking the step of opposing conservatives on this issue of common sense and religious liberty. 

Upon citing some of the Hollywood celebrities who have cancelled shows in Mississippi and North Carolina and/or vowed to boycott them all together, Meyers bashed McCrory and his communications team for picking a fight with Demi Lovato on Twitter and applauded the United Kingdom for issuing a travel warning to North Carolina.

Meyers then lamented that this “hateful and discriminatory” measure is “unenforceable” and creates an “absurd impact” on the lives of transgender people:

Now, there are any number of problems with these laws and aside from the fact they're hateful and discriminatory, they're also unenforceable....And the most absurd impact of these kinds of bathroom bills is you're actually forcing transgender women who are women, and transgender men who are men, to use the wrong bathroom[.]

Mocking the conservative boycott of stores like Target, Meyers sought to inform conservatives what being transgender means (even though he’s not himself): “To be clear, that's not how gender identity works. It's not just a whim. It's a person's inner-most concept of self. It's their identity. It's who they are. And what about this idea that it's a public safety issue?”

Meyers wound down by chiding Cruz for offering “some of the ugliest comments on this issue” and openly “fear-mongering on the campaign trail.” Further, he closed with this smart aleck comment that drew heavy applause from the left-leaning crowd: “Oh sure, but if a lizard dresses up in a suit, he can run for president. [LAUGHTER] Oh, I see how it works. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I get it.”

The relevant portions of the transcript from NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers in the early hours of April 29 can be found below.

NBC’s Late Night with Seth Meyers
April 29, 2016
12:45 a.m. Eastern

SETH MEYERS: Now, moving on, the backlash over anti-transgender bathroom laws in Mississippi and North Carolina has intensified this week and one presidential candidate, Ted Cruz, has made defending the law a big part of his last-ditch effort to stop Donald Trump. For more on this, it's time for A Closer Look. [APPLAUSE] So as you may have heard, the states of Mississippi and North Carolina recently passed discriminatory laws designed to, among other things, to prevent trans people from using the rest room of the gender with which they identify and those laws have already hurt tourism and businesses in those states. In Mississippi, the actor Sharon stone decided not to film a movie there and in North Carolina, Bruce Springsteen, Ringo Starr, Pearl Jam and Ani Defranco have canceled shows.

(....)

MEYERS: So, who do you think will win that Twitter war? The followers of Demi Lovato, who call themselves lovatics, or the followers of Governor Pat McCrory and his pat pals? [LAUGHTER] But it's not just celebrities. Even foreign countries are warning about traveling to Mississippi and North Carolina. 

(....) 

MEYERS: That's right. The British issued a warning against traveling to North Carolina and Mississippi, leading to English gay people everywhere saying: “Terrible news, we have to cancel our holiday to Mississippi. [LAUGHTER] Good news, we did have 11 connections. London, Chicago, Atlanta, back to London.” [LAUGHTER] Now, there are any number of problems with these laws and aside from the fact they're hateful and discriminatory, they're also unenforceable. When asked how they would enforce the North Carolina laws, spokesperson for one local police department said: “So that means people have to go to the bathrooms with birth certificates? Yeah, that was curious to me.”[LAUGHTER] And another said: “We don't have police officers sitting in public bathrooms all day long.” But it would be cool if you did because then there could be a new Dick Wolf spin-off Law & Order: Someone's in Here. [LAUGHTER] “Let me see your hands? No, just one hand. Just one hand. You can put the other with one back.” [APPLAUSE] And the most absurd impact of these kinds of bathroom bills is you're actually forcing transgender women who are women, and transgender men who are men, to use the wrong bathroom

(....)

MEYERS: That's how absurd these anti-trans laws are. A policy hasn't created this much bathroom confusion since hipster bars started using animals as bathroom door signs. [LAUGHTER] “Am I a bird or a squirrel? All I know is I'm going to crap my pants in five seconds.” [APPLAUSE] And the outcry over the bathroom issue isn't just affecting states. It's affecting companies who are standing up against the fear mongering. 

(....)

MEYERS: Okay, but if you are going to boycott Target, you're gonna have to boycott the more than 400 other companies with trans friendly policies as well including Facebook, Twitter, Google, McDonald's, Coca-Cola, Disney, and even IKEA.....More importantly, there's no evidence for the claim that nondiscrimination policies like Target's a endanger public safety.

(....)

MEYERS: To be clear, that's not how gender identity works. It's not just a whim. It's a person's inner-most concept of self. It's their identity. It's who they are. And what about this idea that it's a public safety issue? Well, to their credit, the Fox host who actually spent any time researching this came to a very different conclusion than their colleagues. 

FNC’s CHRIS WALLACE [on Fox News Sunday, 04/24/16]: We actually decided to try to find out whether it is a public safety issue, whether it is a problem. [SCREEN WIPE] And here's what the fact checking group Politicfact found. “We,” that's that Politifact, “haven't found any instance of criminals using transgender protections as cover in the United States neither have any left-wing groups or right-wing groups.” [SCREEN WIPE] This seems to be a solution in search of a problem. 

MEYERS: Do they even let Chris Wallace talk to the other Fox hosts, or do they make him sit at the nerds table with Shepard Smith? But some of the ugliest comments on this issue have come from Ted Cruz, who has decided in the last week to use the bathroom bills as a political wedge against Donald Trump. Trump initially came out against the North Carolina law saying: “Leave it the way it is. People go, they use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate. There's been so little trouble.” Trump backtracked later that same day, saying the issue should be left to states to decide, but that didn't stop Cruz from fear-mongering on the campaign trail. 

(....)

REPUBLICAN SENATOR TED CRUZ [Tex.][on 04/24/16]: Let me make things real simple. Even if Donald Trump dresses up as Hillary Clinton, he shouldn't be using the girls restroom. 

MEYERS: Oh sure, but if a lizard dresses up in a suit, he can run for president. [LAUGHTER] Oh, I see how it works. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I get it.