For the second week in a row, TBS’s Full Frontal host Samantha Bee resorted to childish toilet humor to attack conservatives and Republicans with Monday night’s installment featuring Bee predicting that Mitt Romney “soil[ed] his temple garments at the thought of brokered convention” before his anti-Trump speech on Thursday.
Bee used much of her opening segment to not attack Trump but instead the larger Republican Party and their past two Republican presidential nominees in Romney and Senator John McCain (Ariz.).
The cheap shots at the GOP began immediately when she joked that the Grand Old Party died last week by having suffered the same fate as “Republican President Chester A. Arthur did, violently tearing itself in half.” Bee’s pathetic comparison falls flat when considering the fact that Arthur died of a cerebral hemorrhage in 1886.
Turning to Romney’s speech decrying the current GOP frontrunner, Bee ruled: “Mitt Romney, soiling his temple garments at the thought of brokered convention, staged a mittervention so condescending it served as a donation in kind to the Trump campaign.”
Bee used a favorable soundbite from Romney’s speech about selling the American people only a hat and knocked his campaign with a photoshopped image of people in Africa wearing Romney-Ryan t-shirts.
If that wasn’t enough, Bee upped the vile imagery by comparing Romney’s 2012 loss to President Obama to being “beat like a Muslim girl at Trump rally.”
With help from another Romney soundbite, the former Daily Show correspondent trotted out the hated conservative cause of voter ID laws: “You got that, Republicans? If you want to save democracy, register to vote in every state and don't you worry about all those new voter ID laws your party pushed through. They only applied to elderly black ladies.
Before dissecting Thursday’s Republican presidential debate and attacking the even-keeled co-moderator Bret Baier, Bee elicited huge rounds of applause when she trashed McCain as unqualified when it comes to chiding Trump:
The guy who gave us Trump 1.0 does not get to complain about the latest outrage! No, no, no. If you didn't think the Arctic maenad who couldn't name a magazine was dangerous and unqualified, you are never allowed to use those words because you don't know what they mean, but the GOP’s final death rattle came that night when the remaining candidates gathered for their regular fight club meeting in what appears to be Donald Trump's apartment.
The relevant portions of the transcript from TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee on March 7 can be found below.
TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
March 7, 2016
10:32 p.m. Eastern
SAMANTHA BEE: Yes, last week the Republican Party, home to more than a century of great statesmen, died the way Republican President Chester A. Arthur did, violently tearing itself in half. [LAUGHTER] Oh, Arthur was much more interesting than people give him credit for. The death throes started Thursday morning when the Republican establishment suddenly woke up and realized Donald Trump is doing to their brand what its asshole son does to real elephants. [LAUGHTER] There's your new Defense Secretary, guys. Mitt Romney, soiling his temple garments at the thought of brokered convention, staged a mittervention so condescending it served as a donation in kind to the Trump campaign.
MITT ROMNEY: Donald Trump is a phony, a fraud. [SCREEN WIPE] He's playing the members of the American public for suckers. He gets a free ride to the White House and all we get is a lousy hat.
BEE: Cheese and crackers, Mitt, you don't like the hat, just send it to Africa. They're happy to take the clothes nobody wants here. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] You know — with all due respect, sir, the last time you tried to stand between a charismatic guy and the White House, you got beat like a Muslim girl at Trump rally.
(....)
BEE: You got that, Republicans? If you want to save democracy, register to vote in every state and don't you worry about all those new voter ID laws your party pushed through. They only applied to elderly black ladies. [LAUGHTER] So does anyone else who led the party to a humiliating loss want to weigh in?
SOLEDAD O’BRIEN [on CBS This Morning, 03/04/16]: Senator John McCain spoke out right after Romney finished his speech yesterday. The Armed Services committee chairman called Trump's national security positions, quote, “uninformed” and “dangerous.”
BEE: Don't you dare, don't you even dare! The guy who gave us Trump 1.0 does not get to complain about the latest outrage! [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] No, no, no. If you didn't think the Arctic maenad who couldn't name a magazine was dangerous and unqualified, you are never allowed to use those words because you don't know what they mean, but the GOP’s final death rattle came that night when the remaining candidates gathered for their regular fight club meeting in what appears to be Donald Trump's apartment. [LAUGHTER] There was the guy who went to prom with his mother, the junior senator from the uncanny valley, the backfired wish that Republicans made on a cursed monkey's paw and the folksy general store proprietor is — whose only hope of being the nominee is if the other three kill each other, so pretty strong odds actually.
(....)
10:37 p.m. Eastern
BEE: Meanwhile, Bret Baier tried to redirect their anger back where it belonged, the gays.
BRET BAIER: A hypothetical situation where a same-sex couple approaches a cupcake maker to do their wedding. [SCREEN WIPE] Do gay marriage dissenters have rights?
BEE: Gay marriage dissenters? Is that what bigots are calling themselves these days? Oh, that's a solid rebrand. Trump wouldn't have to repudiate the Klan if they just called themselves black people dissenters.
