NFL Sunday Week 14 Open Thread

If it's Sunday during football season, it's Joe Concha:

Pigskins and Politics: Week 14
Joe Concha

Quite a week for the NFL: Steroid suspensions in three cities, Plaxico Burress seamlessly takes the torch from O.J. in the utter stupidity department, and Shaun Ellis decides to drive twice the speed limit with enough pot in his car to support a Daily Kos Obama Inauguration Party (like, a lot)...

But since fans simply don't care about this stuff anymore due to scandal fatigue, rest assured a classic game like Steelers-Cowboys might end up being one of the highest-rated regular season games ever. And thankfully, Keith Olbermann will be nowhere near it...

Let's get to our Not-For-Profit Picks for Week 14:

Giants (-7) over Eagles: Andy Reid may need one of those clocks they use during the Presidential debates if he needs to run a 2-minute drill, which as everyone in Philadelphia knows takes about 10 minutes. And in honor of Plaxico, the Giants promise to run pass plays only from the shotgun formation for the rest of the season.

49ers (+4) over Jets: Let the annual implosion of the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets continue.

Bengals (+13.5) over Colts: Lucas Oil Stadium is the quietest place in America outside of Joe Biden's phone.

Packers (-6) over Texans: The best 5-7 team in the league has 19-degree temps on its side against a dome team from Houston. Need a quick bailout to upgrade your auto? Call your local bookie and pick the Pack.

Titans (-13.5) over Browns: Name Cleveland's quarterback today without googling...I double-dare you.

Lions (+9.5) over Vikings: Good week for Michigan: The autos con Barney Frank into giving them $15 billion without presenting any kind of real plan to pay it back, and now Joe Concha picks the Lions to possibly (OK, maybe just cover) against the Vikes. Happy days are here again in Motown!

Saints (-3) over Falcons: They say Michael Vick may be out of prison by next summer. Matt Ryan is already considering putting his pooch into witness protection if/when Vick looks to take revenge on the rookie for saving the franchise he was supposed to have destroyed for at least the next 10 years.

Dolphins (+1) over Bills: If any of you are thinking of owning a cold weather team, here's the only rule to remember: When moving your team from 15 degrees outside to play in a cozy dome for one game, DO NOT do it in December, and DO NOT do it against a team from the southern-most place in the country.

Broncos (-9) over Chiefs: Every time I stop believing in the Broncos, they pull me back in.

Pats (-4.5) over Seahawks: Phenomenal year for the state of Washington:
Washington Huskies: 0-12
Washington State Cyclones: 2-11
Seattle Mariners: Last place
Seattle Sonics: No longer at this address
Seattle Seahawks: See win total of Washington State

Rams (+14) over Cards: Kurt Warner is starting to look as old as John Warner (R-VA).

Steelers (-3) over Cowboys: Romo better think of putting that protective splint back on against ferocious Pitt D. In other news, hopefully Steelers fans aren't idiotic enough to consider voting for MSNBC's human cacophony Chris Matthews in the Pennsylvania Senate race, who has a trail of controversial sound bites long enough to make 57 hours worth of negative ads. And nothing would be sweeter than watching the 62-year-old blonde have to answer a question he doesn't like. This really could end up being the best reality show since "The Biggest Loser".

Ravens (-5.5) over Redskins: The battle for the hearts and minds of Maryland is won by the team not wearing burgundy.

Panthers (-3) over Bucs: A battle of two 9-3 teams that no one outside of Tampa and Charlotte want ANYWHERE near the Super Bowl.

Joe Concha is a weekly contributor to NewsBusters.com. Email questions or comments to joeconcha@yahoo.com.