Keith suddenly "has to get back to 30 Rock" with great anxiety when he learns that McCain suddenly changes his mind and heads for the Ed Sullivan Theatre...you can see the chicken beak grow from his face...

Meanwhile the ghost of Ed Sullivan puts a shiver down his spine by slipping an icecube down the back of his shirt.

Drill ANWAR

DL: Do you think anyone is watching this?

KO: About as many as watch my show.

DL: So about 3 people then?

WITH LETTERMAN'S TONGUE FLICKING AWAY DIDN'T

IT REMIND YOU OF THE FROG CATCHING THE BUG.

" NOBODY PUTS ONE OVER ON FRED C DOBBS"

B.TRAVEN

Olbermann: I can open my mouth this big to put my foot in it.

The major media report only half the news. Why are they surprised they have only half the potential audience?

Letterman:  After the show, this fist is going to put a hurtin' on you Olbermann.

Olbermann:  Don't tease me like that Dave.  I know!  You pretend you're me, and I'll pretend I'm Dick Cheney.  Then you can really let me have it.

Normal, yes I'm totally normal and mainstream Dave.

Ha Ha Ha Ha , I've got no clue what normal is. Is that when my neck veins pop and I cover the camera in spittle?

I love myself so much I'm holding my own hand.

Pick just one. No? OK you can take all three.

Ha Ha, Your fist is no match for my Kung-Fu...

Ya know Keith, if we put our heads together, we'd almost have half a brain.

"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house." Acts 16:31

During auditions for "Stupid Pet Tricks", a vicious Dolberman Pincer gets reprimanded for humping Dave's leg.

When asked if he went to war with Iraq  to derail the impeachment vote:  “I don’t think any serious person would believe that any President would do such a thing." - President Clinton (Dec 1998).

Looks to me like these two fellows had their hands in each other's pants. That's why they are so gleeful?

Letterman: "You'll never be an Edward R. Murrow."

Olby: "You'll never be a Johnny Carson." 

Bath tub boy tells Davie..

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Obama, himself. Twelfth son of Obama SR.. The flowing robes, the grace, black... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, Obama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Obama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga (Which  roughly translates to where is my telaprompter..)  So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Obama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says,"Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your death bed, you will receive a death tax that your children will pay on for years..." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

 So Dave how are things with you buddy.. 

Ronald Reagan, 1962: I did not leave the Democratic party, the party left me.

Insert: your name, 2008, and the Republican party.

....do you want me to put my fist where the sun don't shine?

Left & Lefterman

Ed McMahan laughs at a Johnny Carson quip.

The Newsbusters Comments Crew: Saving the Environment - One Ribeye at a Time! h/t Dr_Liberty

idiot