The other day I was driving behind a car with a “Friend of Tibet” Virginia license plate. That’s great and I’d like to be a “Friend” myself, but with the job and the family and cutting the lawn … Can I just become a “Facebook Friend of Tibet?” If so, am I entitled to the same preening as Tibet’s actual Friends?
It got me wondering whether we’d see “Free Iran” paraphernalia anytime soon, and whether we’d see it on the same Volvos and Priuses as those “Free Tibet” bumper stickers. Somehow I doubt it, since Obama could barely fit any “concern” for Iran among the puffs of “hope” and billows of “change.” If he doesn’t care, the media doesn’t care, and the bumper sticker-industrial complex can concentrate on that cuddly Dalai Lama.
Not that freeing Tibet isn’t desirable. It should be free. In fact, we should also help free China (and Cuba and North Korea, while we’re at it), and make sure that Taiwan remains free. You don’t see many bumper stickers about those countries, though. And small wonder – if they really expected anyone to care about their plight, they would have had the foresight to stock up on skinny bald guys in saffron robes.
But that’s the great thing about bumper sticker morality – it’s uncomplicated. You can register your concern for countries with mind-expanding Eastern philosophies, and ignore more icky places and issues. The same is true with the really big stuff. When the driver in front of you commands you to visualize world peace while you’re sitting in traffic, he’d rather you didn’t contemplate the holocausts, world wars and bloody subjugation necessary to achieve it.
And it’s safe. While it takes the courage of your convictions to demand a free Tibet in Beijing, or that people “COEXIST” (written with religious symbols standing in for letters) in Islamabad, the risks are considerably lower in Fresno. Here in the United States, it amounts to nothing more than advertising your virtue.
And that’s mostly the point. “I’m Straight, but I’m not Narrow.” Congratulations! I’m angular but I’m not obtuse. Can I have a bumper sticker?
Another car seen on my commute is one of those new Honda Insight hybrids. It has a license plate that reads “OIL – ANON.” Smug wafts from that car like patchouli from a college dorm room. And more power to her – let her enjoy the moral high ground while she can. “The Times” of London’s auto reviewer recently called the Insight “biblically terrible,” and “hairy-shirted eco-ism at its very worst.” Maybe that “Darwin Fish” she has next to the license plate will negate that Old-Testament judgment, but I sense a Prius in her not-too-distant future.
And bumper stickers go through straw men like scythes. “Hate is not a Family Value.” I checked the Family Research Council’s Web site. Sure enough, hate’s not on their advocacy list. Ditto the Heritage Foundation, and every other conservative organization.
“God Bless Everyone – No Exceptions.” Who excepted anyone? Exactly which church is it that hates the sinner as well as the sin? And yes, God, please bless everyone. Bless gays and lesbians and trannies and the bi-curious. Bless liberal motorists with the understanding that if a phrase fits on a 10” X 4” bit of adhesive-backed paper, it’s probably not really profound. Most of all, bless terrorists with the peace and wisdom not to want to murder infidels. If that doesn’t work, Lord, please guide some heavily armed special ops guys to their cave.
One achingly stupid bumper sticker favorite is “Endless War” with the “less” crossed out and “this” penciled in. Not even Dick Cheney at his snarling, spit-flecked, kitten-chomping worst has suggested he favored war for any longer than needed. “War is not the Answer.” It is if you ask the right question.
It must be nice to have a pre-packaged world-view that can be read, understood and categorized in between adjusting the seat belt, changing the radio station and sipping coffee at a red light. You have to envy the certitude. Although sometimes it can be, well, foolhardy.
“I’m Already Against the Next War.” Are you sure about that? What if the Dear Leader – er – President Obama decided war was necessary? What if it was to free Tibet?
Editor at Large
Comments Policy
Tibet's OK
July 8, 2009 - 14:14 ET by StarAZTibet is OK, but I better never see her with my boyfriend.
→ Not willing Tibet
July 8, 2009 - 14:23 ET by Cool ArrowHello Dalai!
I'll bet you ain't wearin' nuthin under that robe.
WWBD? What would Buddha do?
How much do would a Hindu do if a Hindu would do do.
My Other Car is the Weinermobile.
I liked this one
July 8, 2009 - 14:53 ET by ArcherBI'm a Christian but I still couldn't help but smile that one.
"To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary."
--Ernesto "Che" Guevara
WWHMTSD?
July 8, 2009 - 14:59 ET by UnsaneWWHMTSD?
"CONSUMED DEMOCRACY RETURNS A SOCIALIST REGIME" - Slayer, "Fictional Reality", from Divine Intervention (1994)
→ I know this one!
July 8, 2009 - 15:05 ET by Cool ArrowWhat would his majesty the shahinshah do?
Do I get a parting gift?
gawd i HATE that bumper sticker
July 8, 2009 - 14:26 ET by upcountrywaterIt is on soo many cars here...
How on earth does one compromise with an EVIL person that wants to KILL you?
What play 1/2 dead?
That's as logical as "OHH if only there were no guns...
Or lets reduce the Nuclear threat...
Hi honey I'm 1/2 pregnant
Reagan VS Liberalism
This is my alternative to the "Coexist" sticker
July 8, 2009 - 14:35 ET by Matthew Balanhttp://www.cafepress...
Very nice!!
July 8, 2009 - 14:37 ET by Radical1979Very nice!!
The COEXIST One is...
July 8, 2009 - 14:39 ET by cjbreischThe COEXIST one is the one that raises my blood pressure every time I see it. I'm always thinking, "that's great. I have no problem with co-existing. That would be my preference actually. But then I don't use commercial airplanes as bombs either. Why don't you go to the Middle East and try to pass out a few of those stickers. See how far you get."
Bravo!
July 8, 2009 - 14:39 ET by MassConservBravo! Well done Matthew.
One of the dumbest stickers
July 8, 2009 - 14:44 ET by eugeneromeroProbably the dumbest sticker I saw here in Austin read, "Liberals treat their dogs like humans. Conservatives treat humans like dogs".
Oh really. Just to let you know, I'm a right-winger and I treat my dog WAY better than any liberal.
er... LOL! You
July 8, 2009 - 14:49 ET by bigtimerer...
LOL!
You too?
Glad to know I'm not alone.
Doubling down on stupid is not a particularly good idea. ~Andrew Breitbart
Dog treats
July 8, 2009 - 16:51 ET by FranksamI treat my dog better than I treat liberals, too, but my dog has earned my respect.
Moscow on the Colorado
July 8, 2009 - 14:50 ET by UnsaneYou live in Moscow on the Colorado?
My sympathies. Everytime I roll into town or fly in I play the Soviet National Anthem written in 1943 and The Internationale, as they apply 100% to that place.
As for me, I live too damn close to it...
"CONSUMED DEMOCRACY RETURNS A SOCIALIST REGIME" - Slayer, "Fictional Reality", from Divine Intervention (1994)
Austin has all kinds
July 8, 2009 - 15:20 ET by ArcherBI can't tell you how many "Texans for Obama" stickers I see on SUV's heading down MoPac (going slow in the left lane, usually!).
I actually saw a lady in a Pontiac GrandAm or some other midsized car parked in the "Green Car Only" parking spot at Walmart. The car was covered in Obama stickers.
"To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary."
--Ernesto "Che" Guevara
That's funny
July 8, 2009 - 15:28 ET by eugeneromeroI've seen the "Green car parking" sign at Wal Mart and Office Depot. And guessed where I parked my big a$$ Jeep Liberty at Office Depot? That's right. The "Green Parking" space. Who can enforce it? It's not a city placed parking sign and it's not a legal handicapped parking spot. It's not against the law (yet) to park in those "green" spaces so park there all you want. Nobody can do anything about it. Except key your car.
Green Car ONLY Parking
July 8, 2009 - 15:33 ET by bigtimerGreen Car ONLY Parking spaces....are you kidding me!
This country is sicker than I thought...not by much, but some days you have to think you've heard it all....and now this too.
...and I thought the cow fart debacle was bad enough, plus the mini-cows...now this.
These people NEVER quit...and it's costing us all, one way or the other.
Their way or the highway.
Doubling down on stupid is not a particularly good idea. ~Andrew Breitbart
bt ,have you rented a car lately?
July 8, 2009 - 16:02 ET by upcountrywaterAt one time we renters had an option of declining the "carbon foot print car tax" Well no more it's like $1.25 per day, whether you are driving or not.
When reserving a car through the company's call-in reservation centers
or online, customers can opt in to pay $1.25 per rental (plus
applicable taxes) to purchase a carbon offset. Under this new program,
in partnership with TerraPass, a leading provider of carbon offsets,
the funds will be used to purchase certified offset projects that work
to remove CO2 from the atmosphere.
The collected funds go to one of algores companies TerraPass, .
Reagan VS Liberalism
ucw.... One way of the
July 8, 2009 - 16:12 ET by bigtimerucw....
One way of the other that pig at the trough and his ilk in this are going to milk us to death while they put our hard earned money in their accounts...Universal Tax fund on our phone bills weren't bad enough with algore and his plots...now this too.
Here I was going to fly to Ca. this fall instead of drive....don't know if I'll do that or not now...may just drive on down.
By the way...speaking of algoreglobalwarming BS...I just finally had to give in a build a fire here at home, three in the afternoon on a July day no less...only have seen it this cool here this time of year about 18 years ago or so.
Doubling down on stupid is not a particularly good idea. ~Andrew Breitbart
bt , be sure to pack a set of chains... Only going to get cooler
July 8, 2009 - 16:23 ET by upcountrywaterThe highs on this July are off the record "highs" by 15-20 degrees.
If you have a lot of time drive, If not check the low air fares...
Reagan VS Liberalism
Green car parking? The
July 8, 2009 - 17:39 ET by Kat Outta the BagGreen car parking? The hell...? Seriously, that's a new one to me.
How do they follow through
July 9, 2009 - 20:18 ET by ThatDudeHow do they follow through with this idea? Are the spaces only large enough to fit a Smart Car? Are the spaces at the back end of the lot, or rather, across the street from the store? Both would make sense, as the goal of such vehicles is to reduce energy consumption. Otherwise, all this is is another bit of class warfare where those with means (and correct ideology of course) receive preferential treatment. So, you decided to "go green"? Your reward is that you don't need to walk as far (those extra 50 feet of walking couldn't possibly be good for you.)
"Favorite" bumper sticker nonsense...
July 8, 2009 - 14:44 ET by Pilgrim1949The "COEXIST" pseudo-religeo-philosophical treatise is one of my favorites.
Considering that the doggedly devout adherents of the most strident/fanatical factions of what the first symbol repesents have already declared unilateral and unending no-holds(or weapons)-barred war against all who would identify with any of the rest of the symbols (and those who are "none of the above"...) .........
I strongly encourage these benighted folks to travel to Tehran (or the nearest Taliban/Al-Quaida stronghold) and proudly proclaim and persuasively argue for the merits of this pithy (and pitiable) Utopian sentiment. Before they leave for this noble journey, however, would they please be so kind as to leave instructions on where to ship their remains and if they desire for their heads to be buried together with their torsos, considering that they'd likely be shipped "Box 1 of 2" and "Box 2 of 2" at a minimum.
Naively ignoring the strong and crystal-clear exclusivity claims included in the gaggle of symbols above is like expecting to force a lump of anti-matter to snuggle up to and become everlasting close friends with a lump of matter. Anyone who's watched Star Trek knows, "Ye canna change the laws of physics!"
*boom*
Gripes and bumper stickers
July 8, 2009 - 14:58 ET by UnsaneWait! Didn't you see the headlines? Hu Jintao is pleading with His Majesty The Shahinshah that he will IMMEDIATELY grant Tibet its independence if we just stop putting up all those "Free Tibet" bumper stickers!
Wait a minute...
The nasty truth is that, according to a poster I unfortuantely have forgotten, if your political philosophy can fit neatly on a bumper sticker, it probably isn't worth having.
Like:
"Wouldn't it be nice if schools had all the money in the world and the AF had to have a bake sale to buy a bomber" Oh yeah, it would be nice, but if all the money in the world could make kids smarter, than DC should be churning out entire divisions of Shakespeares, Mozarts, Salks and Baarnards every single spring. But for some weird reason they do not. And if not for the AF and their bombers, there wouldn't be much of a world for those kiddies to enter into when they became adults anyways...
"If you want to live like a Republican vote Democratic!" Juvenile. Fact is that there are LOTS of Limousine Leftists in the Democratic party. It SHOULD read "If you want to be coddled and babied, vote Democratic!" which is more accurate.
And of course, the "Free Tibet" ones. Or "Save Darfur". OK. So, you are going to take up a rifle and go to war to free/save them? Because the PLA and the janjaweed are NOT scared of your silly bumper stickers. Trust me.
I could go on but I got other things to accomplish...
"CONSUMED DEMOCRACY RETURNS A SOCIALIST REGIME" - Slayer, "Fictional Reality", from Divine Intervention (1994)
How long before we need "FREE America" bumper stickers?
July 8, 2009 - 15:03 ET by dark_dsHow long before we need "FREE America" bumper stickers?
_______ Him and the Unicorn he rode in on
I like this one
July 8, 2009 - 15:17 ET by jacktheripperhttp://shop.cafepres...
"I LOVE DEAD KENNEDY'S"
Matthew.. what a super post!
July 8, 2009 - 15:11 ET by Gary HallActually, I just saw a car with an old "Free Tibet" bumper sticker on it - but the newer bumber sticker on left side of the bumper (from Oregon) was, "I'm already against the next war."
Here in our part of town, the "Free Tibet" stickers are everywhere; so, back in late 2002, I grabbed one (was next the huge selection of *#%! Bush stickers) at the open air market. I don't like attaching bumper stickers, so I taped it inside the rear window. Then I printed up, in much the same style - well, with a bit of a middle eastern flair - one for the other side of the rear window. It said, "Free Iraq."
It was an interesting few months.
Indeed, I've often said, "Where, during the late 90's, were the "Save Afghanistan"," "Free N. Korea," and "Save the DR Congo," etc., bumper stickers. Where was the left? Waiting for a Republican administration to blame the deaths of millions under horrid regimes on!
(;~> gary
Can I get one that reads as follows?
July 8, 2009 - 15:36 ET by Rhymes With RightEnd "Less War"
Blogging at rhymeswithright.mu.nu
My sticker
July 8, 2009 - 15:55 ET by eugeneromeroNot a bumper sticker but in early 2002 or 2003 there was a big rally against the war taking place down Congress St. That's in front of the Capitol here in Austin. Well the night before I walked down the street and plastered stickers on buildings, windows, parking meters, etc. I'm an illustrator and on the sticker I drew a cartoon of a guy smashing a hippie over the head with a tire iron and it read, "Support our troops, beat a hippie". I went back a couple of days later and most were torn down and some people wrote remarks next to them. I wish I could have been there to see their reactions in person. I can only imagine.
My bumper sticker philosophy
July 8, 2009 - 15:48 ET by dvdaughtryIt must be nice to have a pre-packaged world-view that can be read, understood and categorized in between adjusting the seat belt, changing the radio station and sipping coffee at a red light.
I got one on the back of my car. It reads:
9MM
You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?
coexist
July 8, 2009 - 15:49 ET by rpeeler42I have someone in our neighborhood who has the coexist bumper sticker on all their cars. I pass them very frequently as I jog or walk around the area. One day the lady who lives there was coming into their driveway and I decided to say something to her.
So I said "excuse me, may I ask you something?" She didn't say yes or no, so I proceeded. l said I had noticed the coexist bumper stickers with the Islamic symbol on it, and wondered how they planned on coexisting with someone who hates our guts and would love to kill all of us. She never did answer the question and acted like I was from Mars. They still have the bumper stickers.
Islam Crescent Like Pac-Man
July 8, 2009 - 15:53 ET by Blue Collar ToddI find it very ironic that the first symbol is that of Islam. Imagine it is like the Pac-Man game and it will destroy all that follows. The cross of Jesus is last, the last thing that can stand in the way of Islam and the implementation of Sharia Law throughout the world.
.
July 8, 2009 - 16:14 ET by upcountrywater.
BCT, Also the "X" is saved for the Jews, Nice touch ea!
July 8, 2009 - 16:10 ET by upcountrywaterOhh if only there were no Jews....
Jesus was born a Jew...
Reagan VS Liberalism
Not to be fussy but,
July 9, 2009 - 00:21 ET by 10thAmendmentNot to be fussy but, Jesus also died a Jew. That's why the old and new testaments are often bound together.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.
Can anyone even point out
July 8, 2009 - 16:08 ET by Another Dead KennedyCan anyone even point out Tibet on a map?
And do bumper stickers actually stick to cars made after 1987?
FREE AMERICA
July 8, 2009 - 16:11 ET by mattmFREE AMERICA
Vote Yes on No
July 8, 2009 - 16:16 ET by The DistributistFile this under columns I wish I had penned. This topic is an
ongoing discussion on virtually all car trips. It seems that Maine, and
Maine Leftists in particular, suffer from this special sense of
smugness brought about by proclaiming their moral superiority on their
bumpers. I actually saw a pick-up that said "Rednecks for Obama" just
today. The driver looked more metrosexual-in-plaid than authentic
redneck, and his truck was one of those effete Japanese models that
could barely hold the inflated tires of an ATV in the bed. And I didn't
get a clear look, but I think his spotless baseball cap said "Marc by
Marc Jacobs"...
The wife won't allow me to proclaim my moral superiority on any of
our vehicles except the plow truck for fear of being keyed by an
open-minded, all-accepting, tolerance pusher. The Ol' Rust Bucket has
"God Questions Your Authority" on the right bumper and "There Was
Nothing Like A Grateful Dead Concert" on the left bumper. In the middle
is my own pressing of "Vote Yes On No"... I find this one fits every
election cycle in Maine what with our eternally beguiling referendum
questions.
"Modern man is staggering and losing his balance because he is being pelted with little pieces of alleged fact which are native to the newspapers; and, if they turn out not to be facts, that is still more native to newspapers." -GKC
TD... Vote Yes on No sums
July 8, 2009 - 16:32 ET by bigtimerTD...
Vote Yes on No sums it up does it not?
I love that sticker, along with your others....it has been a sad day in this country when we all have to worry about our vehicles being damaged by the kind hearted lovin lefties because of our stickers and opinions...but I'm with your wife....even in the area I live in, we have to worry for that too....yep, that's the dem party for ya, they are so very tolerant.
Doubling down on stupid is not a particularly good idea. ~Andrew Breitbart
This kinda ranks up there....
July 8, 2009 - 16:18 ET by Prester John.....with all the different colored ribbons people would wear during the Clinton era.
You know, the ones the Rush lampooned when he said, "You see this ribbon here. This means I care and am better than you".
Also, I wonder what all the folks with BHO stickers on their SUVs are going to say when the price of gas for their vehicles, electricity for their homes, and natural gas to keep their family warm start skyrocketing?
"This is GREAT!"
- Flounder -
There's a lawsuit from Coexist LLP
July 8, 2009 - 16:30 ET by nolotrippenTalk about irony. Apparently the folks who make said bumper stickers can't get along:
http://www.atu2.com/...
I think they mean, "You can stick your coexist right here."
kono
July 8, 2009 - 20:26 ET by konoI'd love to put a sticker on my bumper that says "Free the Papal States" (like Tibet, a territory once owned and governed by religious leaders that was forcibly incorporated into the State). A statement, not so much about nostalgia for the Papal States, but about the silly selectivity of feel-good Leftists.
Another suggestion
July 8, 2009 - 21:40 ET by UnsaneHow about "Free Carthage"?
:-)
"CONSUMED DEMOCRACY RETURNS A SOCIALIST REGIME" - Slayer, "Fictional Reality", from Divine Intervention (1994)
Convert - - EXCELLENT!
July 9, 2009 - 00:09 ET by Mark L.After "coexist" the one that most grates my cheese reads "Choice What A Beautiful Right". I used to see it on this one car 2 or 3 times a week and believe me it was tough to not try to run them off the road. One of these days I figure I'll just go totally unPC and get one that reads "Nuke A Gay Whale In A Rain Forest For Jesus" - - that ought to just about cover all the bases.
VOLVO owner here
July 9, 2009 - 01:52 ET by chaosmongerOn the back of my VOLVO I have a Nebraska Cornhuskers sticker and a U.S. Navy Veteran sticker? Where does that place me? When I bought the VOLVO I didn't know there was a "dress code" for it.
QUESTION AUTHORITY
July 9, 2009 - 17:38 ET by MadRatQUESTION AUTHORITY is the bumper sticker that annoys me.
1. Liberals are running the government, they are the authority.
2. Liberals are telling me to question authority.
3. Therefore, they're commanding me to ask myself if I shouldn't question authority and just blindly obey.
Me too
July 9, 2009 - 20:25 ET by 10 2 oI do treat my dog better than liberals. My dog can reason better.
My favorite lib bumper sticker is the coexist. Followed by "God bless the whole world. No exceptions".
Every notice, the leftists don't pass them around at mosques.
Nothing they can do
July 13, 2009 - 14:14 ET by eugeneromeroFirst of all, these green car parking spaces are full size and they are just as close to the front door as handicapped parking. That's what really makes me mad. But these are not implemented by the city nor can they be enforced by anyone because there is no law against parking there. If Wal-Mart tells me to move my car, I can just tell them to "eat it".