Stephen Colbert channeled the mother and teacher from the classic "A Christmas Story" on Thursday's Colbert Report, as he made fun of a proposed dormitory for undergraduates with gun permits at the University of Colorado. The only thing missing from his left-wing stereotypes of gun owners as trigger-happy yahoos was the famous "you'll shoot your eye out" line.
Colbert cracked that the move from the mountain state school would "forever ensur[e] that no one will think of it as a safety school." After pointing out that not one student had signed up for the dorm, he snarked, "Come on! This is college! It's time to get crazy - do shots, take shots, get shot....live a little - if not very long." As you might expect, CBS This Morning spotlighted the Colbert sketch on Friday. [audio available here; video below the jump]
The liberal comedian teased his monologue by evoking the famous nickname of a college sports team: "Tonight, guns are allowed on college campuses. Now, you really don't want to face the Fightin' Irish." Colbert then used his "safety school" line, and continued by mockingly shaming the Colorado youth for not signing up for the dorm that treats gun owners like lepers:
STEPHEN COLBERT: ...I have to give a 'wag of my finger' at University of Colorado students, because not one signed up to live in the gun dorm. (audience laughs) Come on! This is college! It's time to get crazy (audience laughs) - do shots, take shots, get shot. (audience laughs) - maybe, join a fraternity, like 'Ima Poppa Kappa' (audience laughs and applauds)
CBS This Morning played almost the entire pro-gun-control sketch from the previous evening towards the end of the 7 am Eastern hour.
The Big Three morning newscast has turned to the Comedy Central program to forward the left's agenda. Back in early August 2012, they played a clip of Colbert making light of the controversial Obama administration abortifacient/contraception mandate, while failing to air one report or news brief on the regulation going into effect. Two weeks earlier, the CBS program promoted the liberal comedian likening Mitt Romney's leadership of Bain Capital to the cannibalistic Donner Party in the 19th century.
The transcript of the relevant portion of the segment from Thursday's Colbert Report:
COLBERT: Folks, next up on 'T-hat' to the 'wag' thing, I (audience laughs) – as the kids call it - I am such a staunch supporter of the right to bear firearms that I'm upset we can't bear fire-legs. (audience laughs) That's two limbs that aren't shooting something. (audience laughs) So, you know, I was pumped as a 12-gauge to see that students with gun permits can get their own segregated dorms at the University of Colorado - forever ensuring that no one will think of it as a safety school. (audience laughs)
But folks, I'm sorry, I have to give a 'wag of my finger' at University of Colorado students, because not one signed up to live in the gun dorm. (audience laughs) Come on! This is college! It's time to get crazy (audience laughs) - do shots, take shots, get shot. (audience laughs) - maybe, join a fraternity, like 'Ima Poppa Kappa' (audience laughs and applauds) – good bunch of guys; good bunch of guys. And let's face it: living in a gun dorm is not any more life threatening than spending $160,000 on an English degree. (audience laughs) So, come on, U. of C. students - live a little - if not very long. (audience laughs)