Spiking the Football? CNN Laughs at Republicans After Election Night Losses

On Thursday's The Situation Room, host Wolf Blitzer played a montage of liberal comedians poking fun at election night coverage with the jokes overwhelmingly targeting Republicans and conservatives.

"Turns out it's not all bad news for the Republicans. I guess it seems depression is covered by ObamaCare," quipped Tonight Show host Jay Leno. "A big night for the Democrats, Obama won the electoral vote and the popular vote. Mitt Romney on the other side won the unpopular vote," Late Show host David Letterman derided Romney. [Video below the break. Audio here.]

"Now ObamaCare is here to stay," announced Comedy Central's Stephen Colbert to loud applause and cheers on The Colbert Report. "And sure, sure a single illness won't wipe out your life savings, but at what cost? A lower one. And now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care instead of immediately not getting any," he subtly praised ObamaCare.

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart skewered GOP strategist Karl Rove, who had challenged Fox News's projection that President Obama won Ohio. "I just want to get it straight, Karl, very quickly, are you lying to yourself or to the millions of viewers? Cause you're lying," Stewart remarked of Rove's claim.

A transcript of the segment, which aired on The Situation Room on November 8 at 4:56 p.m. EST, is as follows:

WOLF BLITZER: Election night was a gold mine for TV's late-night comedians. Check it out.

(Video Clip)

STEPHEN COLBERT, host, Comedy Central's The Colbert Report: Ladies and gentlemen, The Colbert Report is ready to project that CNN has projected that Animal Planet has predicted that the winner of the 2012 presidential election is Barack Obama.

(Applause and cheers)

Now ObamaCare is here to stay.

(Applause and cheers)

And sure, sure a single illness won't wipe out your life savings, but at what cost? A lower one. And now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care instead of immediately not getting any.

JON STEWART, host, Comedy Central's The Daily Show: But this five-minute segment from last night's Fox News election coverage taken at the precise moment that their own in-house election return research squad announced that Ohio, and thus the presidency, would be awarded to Barack Obama, I believe this piece of footage will unlike us, live forever.

(Laughter)

CHRIS WALLACE, Fox News anchor: Do you believe that Ohio has been settled?

KARL ROVE, Republican strategist: No, I don't. And look, if we are calling this on the basis of 74 percent of the vote being in and when 77 percent is in Secretary of State website I got the director of the Ohio campaign for Romney on the other end of the line refreshing the page every few seconds.

STEWART: Go on.
 
ROVE:  It's going to be a Republican victory. This is a historic Republican county. Their target is 64. They're at 59 with basically the early vote counted. It's going to continue to edge up.

Big swatches of Butler County, Delaware County and Warren County, all of which are Republican counties that have big chunks of their vote out.

MEGYN KELLY, Fox News anchor: Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better? Or is this real?

STEWART: Did you catch that? Did you catch that right there? That was it. That was the moment. Did you see it? Did you record it? Did you record it? Did you TiVo it? Because you can play it backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards all day long like I did today. Here's what happened. I just want to get it straight, Karl, very quickly, are you lying to yourself or to the millions of viewers? Cause you're lying.

DAVID LETTERMAN, host, CBS's Late Show: This is Fox now. It was shortly after 11 announcing that Obama in fact had won re-election. Watch this.

(Sad music playing)

NARRATOR: With Ohio in his corner, we can project that Barack Obama has been re-elected President of the United States. Fox News will something, something who cares.

LETTERMAN: A big night for the Democrats, Obama won the electoral vote and the popular vote. Mitt Romney on the other side won the unpopular vote.

JAY LENO, host, NBC's The Tonight Show: Turns out it's not all bad news for the Republicans. I guess it seems depression is covered by ObamaCare. So it will be –

(Applause)

And some more good news, the President announced today he is not going to raise taxes on the entire one percent, just Donald Trump.

(Applause)

JIMMY KIMMEL, host, ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live!: The Fox reporter in Miami, a guy named Blake Burman, was at the Obama rally in Chicago. Now, will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas was there doing an interview. He was standing right next to him. Unfortunately, the reporter got him confused with not one but two other music performers.
 
REPORTER: Blake Burman has some info for us at Camp Obama, Blake?

BLAKE BURMAN, reporter, WSVN 7 News: Not necessarily info but just kind of giving you a little bit of what you see here. That's Wyclef Jean giving an interview. He is one of the many surrogates you could -- sorry? Who is – Wale, excuse me, Wale.

(Applause) (Laughter)

KIMMEL: Keep going. You'll get to it eventually.