In Show-Ending Poem, CBS's Schieffer Spins Christmas Classic Into Critique of Tea Party, AZ Immigration Law
Ending Sunday's "Face the Nation" in poetic fashion, CBS's Bob Schieffer gave a year-end commentary where he portrayed John Boehner as the flustered "orange-faced" leader of a divided House GOP. Schieffer also snidely criticized the Arizona immigration law.
"His face was bright orange, a sun-tan hall-of-famer. / I knew in a flash – it must be John Boehner," spoke Schieffer, painting the soon-to-be Majority Leader as the head of a herd of reindeer, the House Republicans. "He hollered, cajoled, oh how he did plead, / But the deer wouldn't listen, each wanted to lead."
Composing his end-of-show commentary to verse, Schieffer summarized the 2010 political scene and provided some insight of his own as to how the next two years in Washington will unfold. Though Democrats met a bitter fate this November, Schieffer implied a possible downfall for the GOP with a split between Tea Partiers and incumbent Republicans.
He did not shy away from pigeonholing notable Republicans such as Sarah Palin and John Boehner. "The Left Wing cried foul, said she didn't know nothin'" he said of Sarah Palin's reality show. He called Boehner an "sun-tan hall-of-famer" with a smoking habit, having to control the rebellious Bachmann, Pence, and Cantor. "'Stop Cantor! Quiet Bachmann! Sit down, Mr. Pence! / Line up like a team, please don't jump the fence!'" the imaginary Boehner cried.
Schieffer briefly described the Democrats' downfall and was more-than-content with sending President Obama off to vacation in Hawaii. "To Hawaii they went, why not if they please?" he said of the Obamas.
However, even here Obama faced trouble with Arizona officials looking for his identity papers, Schieffer bizarrely narrated. He seemingly equated Arizona law enforcement with birthers.
"POTUS was out running hard in the tropical sand, / Birth certificate clutched wheel-tight in his hand," he said of Obama's ongoing vacation in Hawaii. "'Can't be too careful,' he told his wife's mother, / 'Arizona police may be here undercover'."
A transcript of Schieffer's poem, a segment which aired on December 26 at 10:53 a.m. EDT, is as follows:
BOB SCHIEFFER: Twas the day after Christmas, 'neath the Capitol dome
It was quiet for a change, Congress finally went home.
They stayed longer than usual, and actually found
Not a lot, to be sure, but some common ground.
The Tea Party hollered, Sarah Palin went huntin',
The Left Wing cried foul, said she didn't know nothin'.
POTUS and FLOTUS were gone with a breeze
To Hawaii they went, why not if they please?
With no stories, reporters have turned to the bars,
The newscasting subs sat in for the stars.
I was just sleepy, needed rest for my brain,
And what happened next I still can't explain.
In my dreaming I saw on the Capitol lawn
A man cracking a whip by first light of dawn.
He was trying to herd some wacky reindeer
Running every which way, first there and then here.
His face was bright orange, a sun-tan hall-of-famer.
I knew in a flash – it must be John Boehner.
He hollered, cajoled, oh how he did plead,
But the deer wouldn't listen, each wanted to lead.
"Stop Cantor! Quiet Bachmann! Sit down, Mr. Pence!
Line up like a team, please don't jump the fence!
You're feeling your oats, and already feel cozy,
But so did that lady named Nancy Pelosi.
"She reached for the sky and wound up in the soup,
So these days she's herding a much smaller group.
Her reindeer still snort that it wasn't their fault.
Whatever it was, they were brought to a halt."
As that scene faded out, Boehner lit up a smoke,
Then I could see Waikiki – and this is no joke –
POTUS was out running hard in the tropical sand,
Birth certificate clutched wheel-tight in his hand.
Can't be too careful, he told his wife's mother,
Arizona police may be here undercover.
It's been a tough year, a difficult trip,
And wouldn't you know, I busted my lip.
My own party against me – will that be my fate?
Or can old Clinton teach me to triangulate?
My dream got confusing, I really was torn
And the old bull still fought, locking horn against horn.
The way they were acting it was sure easy enough
To see no good thing coming from this kind of stuff.
Then I thought of this year and for all the bad talk
Now before it was over the lame duck did walk.
The START treaty was finally beginning to gel,
Taxes stayed even; we can ask, and yes, tell.
That's why I can close this holiday letter
With "Happy New Year to all, it's bound to get better."
- Matt Hadro's blog
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Comments
Bob, please retire...
Submitted by Mary Louise Turner on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 6:40pm.
This is yet more mean-spirited liberalism from the make believe media. Can't liberals ever be nice, even at this time of year? Honestly, has anyone ever seen a leftist smile, let alone crack a truly funny joke?
As for Bob Schieffer, he should have retired years ago. Just go away, Bob - please...
He knows nobody's watching....
Submitted by farstar99 on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 7:31pm.
Figures he can get away with anything.
He might as well strip to his waist and oil wrestle some Boy Scouts.
On the air, for a change.
I'd love to see the birth
Submitted by Radical1979 on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 7:16pm.
I'd love to see the birth certificate Scheiffer refers to.
So would Schieffer.
Submitted by NL207 on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 7:31pm.
He hasn't seen it any more than you have!
Jerk
Submitted by grammajane on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 7:23pm.
Why don't he and Rather jump on a sleigh and fly. These two OLD libs are such has-beens and who is realy listening to any garbage, coming out of their bias radical mouths. On Schieffer, on Rather go up to the north pole
Schieffer would prefer an idiot "pile of Pelosi"
Submitted by ConservaSerb on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 7:26pm.
Because she's a socialist.
Schieffer is yet another card-carrying member of the Communist party who is "smarfer" than the rest of us.
If he drops dead tomorrow, will anyone other than his fellow commies care?
A wise & frugal government, which shall leave men free 2 regulate their own pursuits of industry & improvement, & shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned - this is the sum of good government. T. Jefferson
Bizarre
Submitted by CommanderTaya on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 7:39pm.
Poor ol' Bob's attempt to be cute with a poem to slam both sides. Yawn.
First the Azz Hat and the Wookie vacationing in Hawaii, as is their right, according to him but then I can't help but conjure the vision of The Bamster in Speedos frolicking in the sand while clutching a birth certificate in one hand and flipping off America with the other. Just bizarre. They maintain homes for blathering old folk like him.
When you said....
Submitted by almostacowboy on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 7:45pm.
...a "show-ending poem" I thought you meant "a show-ending poem".
I'm so disappointed. :-(
Schieffer is......
Submitted by spepper on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 8:26pm.
.....an old HAG.
And, he serves his CBS masters' agenda well, spewing such ignorant, hate-filled DRIVEL.
That's the first time...
Submitted by KyWriter on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 8:50pm.
...I've seen one of those singing fish plaques recite a poem. Although the resemblance is obvious, I'd still rather have a Big Mouth Billy Bass than Bob Schieffer hanging around. The creep factor is just too much.
Tribute to Bob.
Submitted by Cho Yi Fan on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 9:14pm.
So Bob you aren't the only poet :
It was the day after Christmas As Schieffer caterwauled on.
He was crestfallen and upset Cause the Dem Congress was gone.
He was troubled and concerned Because he had lost leader Pelosi.
He was sorry he had to say To Miss Nancy adiosi.
So he wrote a little poem And tried to be clever.
He was upset at the Tea Party For the way that they pulled the lever.
And he took shots at John Boehner For the things that he had to say
While pretending that he Bob Scheiffer Didn’t have feet of clay.
And he mocked Sarah Palin For her reality show.
But that was Bob being jealous Because he has no get up and go.
But overall the poem Just made Bob look small.
He is frustrated because His progressive’s have taken a fall.
Now my solution to Bob Is really easy and quick.
It doesn’t require an elf Or even good old Saint Nick.
Now when I see his sour face Talking about the lie of the death panel
I will grab the remote and I will just change the channel.
How’s that ?
Thanks!
Submitted by CommanderTaya on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 9:16pm.
:))
Excellent! I'm way too lazy
Submitted by Chris Norman on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 10:13pm.
Excellent! I'm way too lazy to devise a whole poem about Schieffer but I will say:
But I heard Bob complain as CBS retired him from sight,
"I'm only a hundred ninety years old and this is my show by right!".
Excellent job, CYF!
Submitted by stratman on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 11:21pm.
Excellent job, CYF!
"Adiosi"
Submitted by almostacowboy on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 12:43pm.
I love it!
LOL!
Submitted by Toast of the Town on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 10:39pm.
Bob Schieffer wears depends.
I blame Katie Couric...
Submitted by bigdaddy on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 10:56pm.
...if CBS hadn't had to pay her so much they wouldn't have to keep dithering old geezers like "Quieffer" and Dan-Dan around...
Poor old nonsensical totally partisan Bob Schieffer
Submitted by WarEagle01 on Mon, 12/27/2010 - 11:30pm.
Bob, you embarrass yourself with your totally one-sided partisan coverage. You will never be part of the cool, hip, young crowd Bob. No matter how hard you try. When you retire very soon, you will be quickly forgotten. Mores the better.
T'was the night after Christmas
Submitted by CobraMan on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 12:34am.
T'was the night after Christmas and all through the land
Not a liberal was static, FCC rulebook in hand.
The lawsuits were stacked on the docket with care
With the hopes that a Liberal Judge would be there.
ACLU Lawyers sat smug with crossed arms
sharing visions of Juries falling prey to their charms.
FCC Chairman Genachowski smiled and raised both his hands
Declaring all mention of Christmas should be banned from the lands.
When out through the blogsphere there came such a hush
When it was discovered that Christmas was mentioned by Rush.
He mentioned this on Fox News at 11
and liberal's screams shook the very pillars of Heaven.
The ink not yet dry in the new regulations
Rush and Fox News charged with FCC violations.
And what to liberal eyes should appear
but some who will stop Christmas and end all false cheer.
What a smart liberal AG, both wiser and bolder
I knew in a moment it must be Eric Holder!
With a voice like a God he did loudly proclaim:
Sue Rush for hate crimes, and sue Fox the same!
Now Boxer, Now Kerry, Now Pelosi and Reid.
Come Sharpton, Come Mathews, Come Maddow and Schultz.
Get the word out to the media, demonstrate on the mall.
It's time to legislate away Christmas, once and for all!
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. The US Constitution
Unless you're a fetus. The US Supreme Court
Or Anwar al-Awlaki.
And kudos to CobraMan---
Submitted by matthewdean on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 12:37am.
as well.
Very nice work.
MD
Thank you, MD!
Submitted by CobraMan on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 1:18am.
This one's for all the liberal politicians who are beloved so much by the American people.
Oh Come all Ye Faithless Liberal Politicians
Oh Come Ye, Oh Come Ye, to Washington DC
Come and behold them; Those kickbacks called donations.
Come represent the Unions
Come represent the Teachers
Come represent Illegals
For their kickbacks come for thee.
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. The US Constitution
Unless you're a fetus. The US Supreme Court
Or Anwar al-Awlaki.
Cho Yi---
Submitted by matthewdean on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 12:35am.
I'm still a fan.
Great job with the verse.
MD
Schieffer Thinks He's A Nice, Loving Guy
Submitted by rammingspeed on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 12:40am.
Schieffer and staff get their thinking style from the Gray Lady herself - "Bundle up, it's global warming." With literal insanity such as that, and the hate that twists Schieffer and the like, there is nothing else we expect. We can only react (Tea Party) and vote.
Hey Bobby....
Submitted by bigdaddy on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 3:59am.
"May Your Days Be Merry and Bright,
And May All Your Christmas' Be Right..."
Tingles Will KILL Bob!
Submitted by BigMackie on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 8:10am.
If Chrissy Tingles sees this, he's gonna swat Bob across the cheek with his purse!
Schieffer should NOT be reciting Barry-love poems to the Object of Tingles' Affection. Matthews is not a tolerant boy when it comes to his Barry!
The poem was a clever attempt that came-off lame, but what does one expect from SeeBS?
Happy New Year to all my fellow patriots!
~Big Mac
If I was his age, I would be
Submitted by Thoreau on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 9:52am.
If I was his age, I would be thinking more about the future. Like my death. I don't think God is going to be very happy with me when I pimp the enslavement of mankind through Communism.
I would err on the side of caution if I were him. Even if I didn't have a brain cell in my head, like him. I would think.. hmm.. even bugs manage to not get stepped on. Let's try that.
His meatsuit is almost expired. His due date is coming near. He better get his soul right. His promotion of 'ropes and chains you can believe in' isn't going to play to the crowd he thinks it is. There is a special place for covetous thieves and liars.
God don't play the game of liberal delusion without lots of fire being involved.
Prose Poetry Priorities?
Submitted by fstaff on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 6:37pm.
"I was on vacation that week. This happened -- apparently, it got very little publicity. And, you know, I just didn't know about it." -Bob Schieffer in reference to his failure to ask AG Holder about the controversial Black Panther voter intimidation case.
Bob Schieffer and Poem
Submitted by Netstatter on Tue, 12/28/2010 - 9:34pm.
Clement Clark Moore must be spinning in his grave.
Maybe we all should send Bob some coal.
Check out that smile
Submitted by hbnolikeee on Wed, 12/29/2010 - 10:01am.
He must just have gotten in a new batch of Depends and he's enjoying the lack of aroma. Of course once Shitffer Brains opens his mouth the stink resumes.