Translating Joe Klein's Complaints About Rudy Giuliani's Health Care Edition

Time magazine's Joe Klein doesn't like Rudy Giuliani's health care plan for three reasons. Well, one really, but three manifestations of the same beef: It's not socialistic enough.

What follows are Klein's complaints from his August 1 "Swampland" blog post, followed by my snarky translation:

--it doesn't mandate that insurance companies cover everyone at the same rate, regardless of pre-existing conditions (community rating).

Who cares if you're a chain-smoking, trans fat-loving, Burger King-is-your-second home kinda guy with diabetes, high cholesterol and a coronary bypass under your belt? Health insurance companies shouldn't charge you a penny more than the marathon-running vegan next door whose idea of splurging is a little extra sugar in his mango strawberry soy milk smoothie.

--it doesn't mandate that everyone participates in the system.

You should be forced in the system if you want it or not, Rudy should know this. Everyone should have equally shoddy health care, like they do in Canada!

--it doesn't seem to be progressive enough, although I haven't read the fine print. The tax benefits should be on a sliding scale, according to income and refundable to the working poor.

The rich don't get soaked enough! I haven't decided who exactly is rich and who exactly is working poor, but there's got to be a class warfare angle here somewhere and dammit I'm going to find it.