CBS is getting desperate.
The network has posted an ad seeking a reporter to cover the "eco beat" - with some interesting requirements.
"CBS is expanding its coverage of the environment," the ad reads. "We seek a talented reporter/host for Internet video broadcast. We are looking for smart, creative, hard working up and comers, who can bring great energy, creativity and a dash of humor to our coverage. A deep interest in the environment and sustainability issues will serve you well."
So you would think such a job would require a science background or years of covering environmental news? Not exactly.
"You are wicked smart, funny, irreverent and hip, oozing enthusiasm and creative energy," the ad reads. "This position requires strong people, reporting, story telling and writing skills. Managing tight deadlines should be second nature. Knowledge of the enviro beat is a big plus, but not a requirement."
Ironically, the ad shows irreverence to what kind of carbon footprint the job duties might require. The ad includes: "Be prepared to see America. Heavy domestic travel."
That would continue CBS's efforts across the country. In September, CBS's "The Early Show" showed viewers how one Florida family went to extraordinary lengths with high costs to lower their carbon footprint.
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Why start now?
November 30, 2007 - 16:26 ET by RJWhy change the template? It's far more important to generate environmental scare stories than wasting time learning and reporting facts.
"Creative" scare mongering and inciting panic by oozing hip, funny and irreverent style is what it's all about, not providing reliable information to the public......
"who can bring great energy,
November 30, 2007 - 17:53 ET by Chris Norman"who can bring great energy, creativity and a dash of humor to our coverage."
Yeah, I'm sure that "creativity" is desired for this job. The same kind of "creativity" they use in political and economic coverage...
The Educational Requirements for the Job
November 30, 2007 - 18:20 ET by PopularTechHere are some examples of applicants who would meet the job requirements:
Alanis Morissette, High School Diploma
Alicia Keys, College Dropout
Alicia Silverstone, High School Dropout
Art Bell, College Dropout
Ben Affleck, College Dropout
Ben Stiller, College Dropout
Bill Maher, B.A. English (no science degree)
Billy Jean King, College Dropout
Bono (Paul Hewson), High School Diploma
Brad Pitt, College Dropout
Cameron Diaz, High School Dropout
Daryl Hanna, B.F.A. Theater (no science degree)
Diane Keaton, College Dropout
Drew Barrymore, High School Dropout
Ed Begley Jr., High School Diploma
George Clooney, College Dropout
Gwyneth Paltrow, College Dropout
Jackson Browne, High School Diploma
Jason Biggs, College Dropout
John Travolta, High School Dropout
Jon Bon Jovi (John Bongiovi), High School Diploma
Joshua Jackson, High School Dropout
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, College Dropout
Julia Roberts, College Dropout
Keanu Reeves, High School Dropout
Kevin Bacon, High School Dropout
Kiefer Sutherland, High School Dropout
Leonardo DiCaprio, High School Dropout
Madonna (Madonna Ciccone), College Dropout
Matt Damon, College Dropout
Michael Moore, College Dropout
Nicole Richie, College Dropout
Olivia Newton-John, High School Dropout
Oprah Winfrey, B.A. Speech and Drama (no science degree)
Orlando Bloom, High School Dropout, B.A. Drama (no science degree)
Paris Hilton, High School Dropout
Pierce Brosnan. High School Dropout
Queen Latifah (Dana Elaine Owens), College Dropout
Richard Branson, High School Dropout
Robert Redford, College Dropout
Rosie O'Donnell, College Dropout
Sarah Silverman, College Dropout
Sean Penn, College Dropout
Sheryl Crow, B.A. Music Education (no science degree)
Sienna Miller, High School Diploma
Willie Nelson, High School Dropout + College Dropout
The Anti "Man-Made" Global Warming Resource
Creative energy
November 30, 2007 - 19:21 ET by dboSounds like the perfect job for Al Gore. He doesn't know anything about the enviroment and he travels all around the country.
Perfect for Al Gore you say?
November 30, 2007 - 22:27 ET by Scout Finch"You are wicked smart, funny, irreverent and hip, oozing enthusiasm and creative energy"
Missed it by that much!
CBS ad - Update!!
November 30, 2007 - 19:57 ET by Gary Hall"You are wicked smart, funny, irreverent and hip, oozing enthusiasm and creative energy," the ad reads. "This position requires strong people, reporting, story telling and writing skills. Managing tight deadlines should be second nature. Knowledge of the enviro beat is a big plus, but not a requirement. We'll feed you all the bs which is required to scare the s__t out of our gulible viewers - there is no limit to the amout of worthless material available."
Will CBS's "enviro beat"
November 30, 2007 - 20:07 ET by TEWill CBS's "enviro beat" "reporter" be like ABC's Bill Blakemore, to wit: a militantly ignorant, earth worshipping fundamentalist political activist?
What about hooters
November 30, 2007 - 21:09 ET by niner-four-whiskeyWhat about big hooters?
Sorry for the mildly offensive euphemism, but I know how these producers think.
Enviro reporter.
November 30, 2007 - 22:11 ET by WR JonasBasically they are looking for a smiling liar. People who think of themselves in the way described are truth stretchers and verbal conmen . CBS has an agenda to help "sell" environmentalism. In truth ,that is what the green consciousness depends upon. A vast quantity of believers who worship the words and agenda of CBS NEWS and other news organizations.
I have been a conservationist for a very long time and people like me and others do the real work of protecting and replenishing species, protecting habitat and fighting the funding wars . Enviro wackos just want political power and the ability to pick everyones pocket.
Sorry 94W, the hooter babes go to FOX.
Likely first show...
November 30, 2007 - 23:00 ET by Parker1227Part 1: The Dolphin Wise Ones
A visit to Sea World where the bright'n'bouncy enviro-beat reporter interviews the dolphins in the pool about how the dolphin's relatives in the ocean are having to swim farther and farther to find their favorite snacks due to global warming.
(During the interview, one of the dolphins plugs Hillary for president.)
Part 2: Scratchy Bathing Suits
Visits an 'enviro-cool' fashion show where all the models live on tofu milkshakes and strut their stuff in carbon neutral bathing suits woven from renewable Kudzu vine that can be used as fire starter after three days of guilt free romping.
I applied for the job
November 30, 2007 - 23:26 ET by Lame CherryI thank Newsbusters for this post as I actually just applied for this job.
I told Katz he was looking to pimp a poor discoveree who had more talent than Jon Stewart...........as Stewart needs writers. Certainly that endeared me to the top of the list along with my demands of a 6 figure salary and a pay scale increase based upon internet revenue traffic.
I figured my speaking some Spanish at the end in adios muchachos verde would really help and telling them I wanted the Madden cruiser burping diesel along with a staff would get me the job.
I owe it all to God and Newsbusters. Is America a great country or what!
I told them to keep me posted as to where I ended up in the rejection pile as the bloggers would be most interested in that.
*HIC IACET ARTORIVS REX QVONDAM REXQVE FVTVRVS
"You are wicked smart,
November 30, 2007 - 23:34 ET by zhombre"You are wicked smart, funny, irreverent and hip, oozing enthusiasm and creative energy." This sounds as if it was taken from a daily horoscope. Only requirement that needs to be added is "Must hate Republicans, Conservatives, and Corporate America."
funny zhombre!
November 30, 2007 - 23:55 ET by MrShyHaha.... or it could read like this:
"You are wicked smart, funny, irreverent and hip, oozing enthusiasm and creative energy, and you think Bush is, like, totally whack, dude. Oh, and like, if everything is sort of relative to you, and the bottom is up, the top is down.... you know, that kinda thing, and like you feel like we all need to do our share to end poverty around the world, and deal with those melting glaciers, and stuff.... then you're cool and might be just the man/woman/vegatable for this RAD and AWESOME job!"
"MY end justifies THAT mean." - Shakespeare (not really)