I Need a Conservative Television News Network

Every morning I log onto the worldwide web, not because I'm a computer geek, but because I want to understand what's going on in the world. I've long since turned my back on the print media for accurate and timely news reporting, and it's getting to the point where I can't even bring myself to watch a televised news broadcasts anymore, simply because tv networks can't seem to report on much of anything these days without insulting my intelligence with some sort of politically correct blather.

I also tune into various talk radio programs throughout the day, because the conservative hosts which dominate the AM dial usually manage to unearth interesting news articles that I just can't find anywhere else, and they are the best in the business at researching the facts behind the stories they cover, affording me a better perspective on the news than I would otherwise have.

Yet, while the internet is a tremendous vehicle for gathering raw information, and AM radio hosts often exhibit a dogged determination to be accurate in their reporting, when they're not smacking me upside the head with their opinions, what I really long for is a responsible news agency that combines the informational aspects of the net with the intellectual honesty and fearlessness of conservative radio, while also affording me enlightening video footage of current events.

But does such an entity exist? Any honest examination of the various tv networks in this country will reveal that it does not, which is why I am calling for the creation of a truly Conservative television news network. Oh sure, I know that the "mainstream" media likes to point to Fox News as a haven for right-wing extremist talking points, but to its liberal puppeteers any journalistic entity that doesn't spend most of its time advancing the left's agenda is both right-wing and extreme.

While Fox is indeed considerably less prone to infusing its news coverage with the sort of left-wing propagandist rhetoric that its television counterparts use to distort the important events of the day, it is still far from conservative in nature. Calling the Fox News Network right-wing simply because it's not as overtly liberal as CBS or MSNBC, is sort of like suggesting that a Golden Retriever is actually a house cat because it's not as vicious and obtuse as most Rottweilers or Chows.

Perhaps I'm just paranoid, but every time I attempt to watch the news on tv, regardless of what channel it's tuned to, I get the distinct impression that someone's trying to distort my perception of the world. Then again, as a wise man once told me, it ain't paranoia if they really are out to get you, and being as I'm not prone to embracing unjustified conspiracy theories, I'm left to conclude that today's television news establishment is as riddled with the same incompetence and venality that it always was.

And so...

I need a television news network that'll avoid using politically correct terms like "undocumented workers" when the subject is illegal aliens, "Islamic militants" when it's reporting on the barbaric acts of Muslim terrorists, and "domestic spying" when the topic of the NSA's signals intelligence program is raised.

I need a television news network that doesn't omit pertinent facts from a story because the people in charge are worried that the truth may alienate or offend me in some way.

I need a television news networks that will hire reporters who will stick to "just the facts", and not waste my time with endless speculation as to why something has happened, and what may happen next as a result of it.

I need a television news network that will exhibit a righteous disrespect for the "mainstream" news media, and devote an appropriate amount of its broadcasting time to the repudiation of false claims made by other news agencies.

I need a television news network that doesn't slip misleading statements like "after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks... Muslims were often targeted for violence" (1) into its war-related news coverage, for no apparent reason other than to insinuate that Americans are prone to the same sort of religious-based, reactionary violence that the citizens of many Middle Eastern countries regularly engage in.

I need a television news network that doesn't try to make me feel guilty for being an American.

I need a television news network that won't shy away from using words like evil, anti-American, and treasonous to describe certain people, when those adjectives are clearly called for.

I need a television news network that doesn't lend the same weight to the assertions of communist-sponsored anti-war activists that it does to those of American military commanders in the field.

I need a television news network that will ignore the antics of pathetic nitwits like Cindy Sheehan, and instead tell me who in our government decided not to throw Sandy Berger in jail for admittedly stealing top secret documents from our National Archives.

I need a television news network that doesn't simply admit its past mistakes, but announces them at the start of every applicable broadcast, assigning them the same level of importance as any top news story.

I need a television news network that'll remind us again and again that New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is a despicable racist, and that George W. Bush isn't.

I need a television news network that puts the best interests of America first when it comes to international affairs reporting, and doesn't behave as if the unwritten rules of respectable journalism prohibit it from being patriotic.

I need a television news network that will report the positive aspects of the war MORE than it reports the negative aspects, since there are more positive than negative events occurring on a regular basis.

I need a television news network that won't mistake political poll results for actual news.

I need a television news network that spends the majority of its time investigating news stories, instead of worrying about things like Nielsen ratings, public perception, or political backlash.

I need a television news network that won't spend three hours explaining to me what it interprets to be the subtle nuances of the forty-five minute political speech I just watched, as if I'm too stupid to understand what the words "the Social Security system... on its current path, is headed toward bankruptcy" (2) really mean.

I need a television news network that's willing to hire some ugly people to report the news, primarily because too many pretty reporters these days couldn't find sand in Southern California.

I need a television news network that doesn't give a damn what other networks are reporting at any given time.

I need a television news network that exhibits a basic understanding of why capitalism is the best economic system thus far devised by mankind, and refuses to promote the notion that socialism and massive government control over private business is in any way a credible alternative to the supply-and-demand-based theory upon which the most resilient economic power on earth has been built.

I need a television news network that is willing to spotlight, at least once a day, an act of heroism by an American citizen somewhere in the world, be that act war-related or not, because America's young people, now more than ever, need champions to look up to who aren't just sports figures.

I need a television news network that will never, EVER make excuses for the likes of Dan Rather, regardless of how many years the arrogant prick has held sway over a nightly news broadcast.

In essence...

I need a television news network that's more competent and truthful than it is "fair and balanced", (3) and anyone who can't appreciate that deserves to be misinformed. If fairness is what you're after, I suggest you go play checkers with your grandmother, and when you feel the need for balance in your life, try ordering a salad with your dinner.

(1) http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/08/AR2006030802221.html
(2) http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/02/20050202-11.html
(3) http://www.foxnews.com

By Edward L. Daley
Owner of the Daley Times-Post
http://www.times-post.com