Justin Bieber Uninterested in Citizenship Because U.S. Doesn't Have Socialized Medicine

Justin Bieber, who regularly tells anyone who will listen to never say never, has done just that. In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, the singer asserted that he never plans on becoming an American citizen. The reason? Apparently the U.S. health care system, which leads the world in the creation of cutting edge medical technology and the invention of life-saving drugs, simply doesn't measure up to "free" (but compassionate) Canadian mediocrity.

The unseen costs of liberal policies never enters the young singer's mind. It's not because his famous hair is impenetrable to basic economics, either. It's because he's lucky enough to not have required highly specialized medical care on a moment’s notice. He's fortunate to be a millionaire who can charter a private jet to whatever world-renowned U.S. hospital has a crack staff of seasoned surgeons ready to put him back together, while the average Canadian gets to pray they're treated before bureaucratic red tape literally leads to their demise.

Maybe if Bieber weren’t so “evil,” he’d shell out some of his millions to fly a few fellow Canadians south of the border for some desperately needed heart surgeries.

Like any celebrity worth his salt, an interview with Rolling Stone demands brandishing some liberal credentials. It's just odd that he would make his stand on Canadian Exceptionalism by citing its track record on health care:

The Canadian-born Bieber never plans on becoming an American citizen. "You guys are evil," he jokes. "Canada's the best country in the world." He adds, "We go to the doctor and we don't need to worry about paying him, but here, your whole life, you're broke because of medical bills. My bodyguard's baby was premature, and now he has to pay for it. In Canada, if your baby's premature, he stays in the hospital as long as he needs to, and then you go home."

Why is Bieber letting his bodyguard suffer like that? Haven’t we already established that it’s “evil” to not pay for others’ health care? Bieber certainly has the means. But I digress.

By Bieber's logic – shared, sadly, by the hoards of Washington’s medical socialists – the treatment offered in a pseudo-socialist Eastern Bloc nation would qualify as less "evil" than the services provided on the American market.  Like most liberals, the pop star fails to realize that guaranteed treatment is not synonymous with quality. Americans would rather have the next wonder drug provided by an “evil” pharmaceutical company that actually eases their symptoms than an army of nurses with wet towelettes who only succeed in making foreheads damp. We never miss the next generation pacemaker that never was, or the pill that couldn’t cure because federal regulations discouraged innovation. The task becomes even more difficult when quixotic kids with megaphones convince impressionable fans to accept the status quo.

American's don't go "broke" because of medical bills; Americans go broke because employer mandates mean "lower profits for many businesses, lower wages for millions of workers, increased unemployment, and higher prices for many goods and services." Americans aren't "evil" because premature babies aren't taken care of for "free", just as Canadians aren't evil because they favor the kind of massive tax increases on hard working families only liberalism adores:

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA) imposes numerous tax hikes that transfer more than $500 billion over 10 years—and more in the future—from hardworking American families and businesses to Congress for spending on new entitlements and subsidies. In addition, higher tax rates on working and investing will discourage economic growth both now and in the future, further lowering the standard of living.

 

It's been said that Justin Bieber is looking for somebody to love. Let's just hope that somebody never needs a hip replacement. Perhaps someday a famous, bowl-haircutted Canadian will make the first successful case for "Canadian Exceptionalism." After his performance in Rolling Stone, it's highly unlikely that person will be Justin Bieber.