'Dignified' Hugo Chavez Has Power Over Time

After conquering space, where he spends his days and nights, wacky dictator Hugo Chavez has decided to conquer time itself. According to the August 21 New York Times, no less, Chavez is changing the clocks starting in 2008 as part of his plan to move to a six-hour workday.

The left's second-favorite dictator, after Castro, "claims that it will help the metabolism and productivity of his fellow citizens," wrote the Times in a bizarre brief.

During his lengthy Sunday TV show, Chavez was joined by Héctor Navarro, the minister of science and technology. The Times quoted him saying: "This is about the metabolic effect, where the human brain is conditioned by sunlight."

Next up, the "passionate," "dignified," and "intelligent" Chavez, as Barbara Walters called him March 16, says he wants to help America's poor and then raises the price of oil again.