Just to be ... fair to David Letterman, I figured it'd be only just to treat him to his very own Top Ten list dedicated to his current ... "situation." (The list was sent in by a loyal NB reader who didn't want attribution.) So, here it is -- "Top Ten Things About Letterman's Trysts With Staffers":
10. Learned everything he knows about interns from Bill Clinton.
9. Was jealous of A-Rod, if you know what I mean.
8. Well on the way to becoming the next ex-governor of New York.
7. Makes Mark Sanford look like a rank amateur.
6. Because he’s a liberal, endorsement from NOW was never in jeopardy.
5. Didn’t care about the book, but wanted the movie rights to ‘The
Scarlet Letterman.’
4. Is so glad he didn’t have a ‘morals’ clause in his contract.
3. Has great story for his support group, ‘Philanderer’s Anonymous.’
2. If he had to do it over again, he’d collect cars like Jay Leno.
1. Gives company name “Worldwide Pants” a whole new meaning.
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Well done!! Ronald
October 3, 2009 - 07:57 ET by USA4freedomWell done!!
Ronald Reagan, 1962: I did not leave the Democratic party, the party left me.
Insert: your name, 2008, and the Republican party.
Dave the Dirty Old Man
October 3, 2009 - 07:59 ET by Tim GrahamMark Levin and Dennis Miller were sharing the Top Ten from JimTreacher.com, but Levin wasn't reading Number Two, just laughing at it.
That needed a beverage alert
October 3, 2009 - 08:08 ET by BlondeApparently Jay Leno is getting his digs in, too.
From the UK Daily Mail:
I hope he fails, too.
If no one minds I will
October 3, 2009 - 08:21 ET by USA4freedomIf no one minds I will repost my Sarah Palin Letterman top 10 from a few months ago..
Top Ten High lights of why Sarah Palin did not appear on Dave Lettermen show.
10. Even Eskimos have better teeth then Dave.
9. The last Republican to come on his show lost the election.
8. She is holding out for Conan O Brian (why go with 2nd place in a two man race)
7. She does not need Q cards.
6. She can’t stop staring at that gap in his teeth with out thinking: I can run a pipe line through there.
5. After readings from the laugh meter Sara thought that Dave had a brain by pass surgery.
4. Sara was disappointed that Wizard of Oz was not on Broadway, she thought Letterman would play all of the leading parts: no brain, no heart, no courage.
3. When Sara found outthat Leno was beating Letterman by 1.3 million viewers every night she said: While I can’t see all the way to NYC from my house, I can.. see.. That.. Leno..was.. kicking.. your.. ass.. every.. night..
2. Sara’s husband looks better in work pants and jacket then Lettermen does in that jacket that was made by Marko the Midget.
#1 Reason that Sarawill not come on Letterman is.. She is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much hotter then Dave’s fat ass ugly wife.
http://celebrity.rightpundits.com/?p=2034
v.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbb3PxYrMcs&feature=related
And the hired help!!!!!
Ronald Reagan, 1962: I did not leave the Democratic party, the party left me.
Insert: your name, 2008, and the Republican party.
Okay it's an obvious
October 3, 2009 - 08:35 ET by Jack BauerOkay it's an obvious idea...
and normally I wouldn't mind, but I posted my Top Ten Reasons Staffers Shouldn't Have Sex With Letterman on Newsbusters over 24 HOURS ago!
Not to boast (oh what the hell) but that was after Lee Rodgers, on the Lee Rodgers Show KSFO Hot Talk Radio San Francisco, read it out on air.
And Jim Treacher's list had an eerily similarity to mine. Ho hum. It's all good.
What are you trying to say?
October 5, 2009 - 10:02 ET by Jim TreacherI posted that within hours of the news breaking. I did not rip off you or anybody else, and I don't appreciate the implication.
....
October 5, 2009 - 12:20 ET by Jack BauerJim Treacher (whoever you are)
Chill babe, it was a throwaway thought based on my FIRST COMMENT that a TOP TEN LETTERMAN was hardly going to be an original thought. Where's the implication you ripped me off? I've never heard of you, you've never heard of me.
It just happened that my list was also read out on air on Friday at 8.15 EST. and I posted it on Newsbusters shortly after. I've never seen yout post anything here, either as a writer or member. I do, daily.
So I was momentarily miffed with the guy who wrote the piece, a day later, didn't reference that this had been covered the day before by me, on NB. Big deal. I got over it seconds later.
But if you insist, like me...
You had a Palin wig gag.
A Paul in the room gag.
A Jay Leno sex act gag.
Is that eerily similar? Well that's a hyperbolic stretch probably. But even not so great minds think alike in bursts. As I have already implied there is a limited number of obvious Letterman riffs.
By the way, if you want to send a personal message, it is a common courtesy to enable the recipient to respond.
Up yours, then
October 5, 2009 - 13:47 ET by Jim TreacherJackass.
Clearly you are a
October 5, 2009 - 13:48 ET by Jack BauerClearly you are a worldclass humorist of the Letterman school. Well done.
I bow to your superior humorosity.
Jack
October 5, 2009 - 13:55 ET by MrShyThat response, combined with an out-of-the-blue member suddenly posting on NB, leads me to think this guy/thing/it might not be so innocent afterall...
Jim
October 5, 2009 - 13:52 ET by MrShyWhoever you are, we don't take kindly to 3rd grade writing/behaving. Well, actually, sometimes we do... BUT.... cursing is a no-no. I'm calling your mother.
Chicago's 2016 Olympic
October 5, 2009 - 13:58 ET by Jack BauerShy, c'mon. Be fair. That "Jackass" gag was hilarious and very original.
You see what he did there? He took my pen-name "Jack" and added "ass". Not many people can do that.
By the way. Your new vid and song is amazing A soulful of soul. Great mate.
Chicago's 2016 Olympic Games
October 5, 2009 - 13:58 ET by bassndudeWould you belive the crips vs. bloods?
Save a SeAL, club a liberal!!
Jack
October 5, 2009 - 14:57 ET by MrShyThanks a lot! :) That's my old band with my brothers, nearly 2 decades ago (yikes....)
All these lists are very
October 3, 2009 - 09:21 ET by celatorAll these lists are very good, I liked Jack's best of all because he was so on-point and quick with it.
There are few events more pleasurable than to see a hypocritical, arrogant, self absorbed buffoon publically exposed for being, well, just that. Letterman fits the template perfectly. As he continues to turn more ghoulish, we hope he gets exactly what he wished on others.
No citizen's right to life, liberty, pursuit of happiness, or property is safe as long as Obama is President of the United States.
Fantastic!!!!
October 3, 2009 - 09:41 ET by Gat New YorkFantastic!!!!