ABC News, in its “What Would You Do?” segment, had some actors portray George Bush-infatuated, moronic Texan tourists on the loose in Paris. And they got precisely what I’m sure they wanted (just wait and see):

"Howdy!" shouted Bob to the porter, in a Texas drawl. "Je m'appelle, Bob!" They were dressed in shorts and matching shirts marked: "Paris, Texas" and "Bush '08." Instead of Manolo Blahniks, they wore Crocs. They were loud. They were clueless. And they didn't know the difference between haute cuisine and oat bran. No doubt about it: Our ugly Americans stood out among the well-dressed Parisians.

Indeed. "Bush supporter" has to equal "clueless" and "boisterous," right.

These actors went out of their way to be literally as obnoxious as possible. The “wife” was ridiculously rambunctious at every turn, and the “husband” began singing the “Star Spangled Banner” when their boat left its dock, and actually shouted “George Bush!”(why??) when posing for snapshots. Yeah, sure sounds like a “typical” American to me.

The kicker of the segment was when the "couple" stopped by a local café. After bewildering the other patrons with their ridiculous antics, commentator John Quiñones offers the kicker (on part 2 of the segment, at approx. -04:39 on the video): 

QUIÑONES: Apparently not everyone's amused by our couple's t-shirts -- or their politics. This woman is German.

GERMAN WOMAN: This is nearly as if I had a t-shirt: "I Like Hitler," you know?

Bingo. George Bush = Hitler! Perfect! See what I meant about ABC "getting what they wanted?"

But wait -- ABC isn't done yet. We Americans need just the "right" person to advise us on how to act properly when vacationing in Europe. Indeed, we need the counsel of ... Barack Obama! (On part 3 of the segment, at approx. -02:15 on the video.)

QUIÑONES: So how can American in Paris avoid becoming "Ugly Americans?" Well, this expert says it's not just about avoiding those faux pas'...

CLIP OF BARACK OBAMA:  When Europeans come over here, they all speak English, they speak French, they speak German. And then we go over to Europe ... and all we can say is "merci beaucoup."

QUIÑONES: Try to speak the language, however crudely. The effort is usually appreciated.

"Expert?" Barack Obama? What foreign languages does he speak, pray tell? What's that? None? In fact, Obama said this personal deficit was "embarrassing."

What about that "obnoxious Texan" George W. Bush? Oh, that's right -- he speaks Spanish.

—D. S. Hube is an educator and a member of the National Association of Scholars. He blogs regularly at The Colossus of Rhodey.