Fox’s Minority Report offered us a look at the world after climate change catastrophe on Monday night. On an episode titled “Fiddler’s Neck,” Detective Vega (Meagan Good) along with pre-cogs Dash (Stark Sands) and Arthur (Nick Zano) head back to their hometown. A little place called, you guessed it, Fiddler’s Neck.
Except this homecoming is not all rainbows and butterflies as the trio quickly discovers when they get a glimpse of the environmental apocalypse that claimed their town:
Vega: There's no signal.
Dash: Don't expect much service on Fiddler's Neck. People out here like peace and quiet.
Vega: There's peace and quiet, and then there's the Stone Age.
Arthur: More like the age of climate change. Ice caps melt, waters rise. A peninsula becomes an island. Rough on the condo market.
Dash: And then the government gave up, more or less.
Vega: So if there's no government, then who makes the rules? Who's in charge?
Dash: They're called the Guard.
Arthur: They named themselves. A little much, if you ask me.
Dash: They make sure no one brings in any contraband-- gmos, nanotech, anything that's dangerous to the island's more natural way of life.
Arthur: And they don't much like outsiders here either, so just follow our lead.
Fetts: Well, look who came to visit. Arthur, been forever.
Arthur: Fetts.
Fetts: Slash.
Dash: Hello.
Arthur: You're in the Guard now?
Fetts: We all got to grow up sometime. Just took me until I was 36.
Arthur: Too bad. I liked you as a young idiot.
Fetts: Eh. Who's your friend? And, uh, what's that? Police issue.
Vega: Don't worry. It's nonlethal. I mean, unless I shoot it at you.
Fetts: Cop.
Of course, the most “LOL” worthy event in that scene is the idea that the government would just “give up” after facing environmental doom. If I know the Rahm Emanuel “never let a crisis go to waste” left, and I do, if anything the federal government would transfer the seat of power from Washington, D.C. and move the entire operation to Fiddler’s Neck to show solidarity.
However, note the decidedly pro-2A line in there that the show, which I’m sure was inadvertently left in there while trying to come up with a cool line for Detective Vega: “Don’t worry, it’s non-lethal. I mean, unless I shoot it at you.”
Granted, pry it “from my cold dead hands” it is not. But that line would make for a pretty cool T-shirt, NRA. Just sayin.’
