ABC's 'The Muppets' Reveals a New Ethnic Group That is Safe to Shame

October 7th, 2015 7:33 AM

Full disclosure, the author of this article is 50 % Italian. But that 50% is 100% irate (Brian Fantana approves this message) over the latest bout of Hollywood PC cowardice on display during Tuesday night’s showing of The Muppets.

In an episode titled, “Bear Left Then Bear Write,” guest star Nick Offerman has a very particular, and what would be considered a very xenophobic, request of Kermit the Frog if it had been directed at a different ethnic group:

>> We’re all gonna miss him. But doing us a big favor for taking over for Fozzie is our good friend Nick Offerman. 

>> Thanks. 

>> Good to see you, Nick.

>> Thanks, guys. Thank you. 

>> Yeah, yeah. Uh, we really owe you one, Nick. 

>> Oh, uh, I will take a cappuccino machine. 

>> What? 

>> You said you owe me one, so I'm calling it in. I want a cappuccino machine. 

>> Oh, well, o-okay, we'll, uh -- we'll get you a cappuccino machine. So, tonight, everybody

>> -- not one of those cheap plastic deals. I want the big brass one with the eagle on top and the dials and nozzles that you don't see anywhere except restaurants run by Italian guys who have been here long enough to speak English but don't. 

>> Right, well...

Okay, my anger is not just because I’m half-Italian. Nor, is it because The Muppets seem to be lashing against us a week before the only holiday we get, Columbus Day (even though they’re trying to take that from us too...).

No, the true source of my anger is in direct proportion to the level of gutlessness in the scene itself. Since when have Hollywood liberals ever given a rip about someone learning English? Regardless of how long they’ve been in the country? Or becoming a citizen? Or not breaking the law to get here? Or any of that stuff?

The answer is they don’t.

Which is fine. That’s why we have the debate. But for that same group that makes no language requirement on any other group or ethnicity to turn around and try to smear another group for that very thing is beyond hypocritical and lame.

It’s also cowardly, because never in a zillion years would The Muppets illustrate the assimilation fail of large groups of Hispanics by having a guest star demand a margarita machine, and not just any margarita machine, but a machine used by middle-aged Mexicans who have been here long enough but have failed to learn English. And they certainly would not do it one week before Cinco de Mayo. Or any other time of the year for that matter.

If some show had done that, the left would have parodied, attacked, ostracized, and otherwise ripped that show apart.

However, here, they single out a group that is fully assimilated, upwardly mobile, and nearly universally capable of speaking the English language. Why? Because that group is such an immigration/American success story, it falls outside the web of victimhood that the left has tried to lure every recent immigrant group into.

Hence, you can make fun of them.

 

Clearly, the Emma Lazarus poem on the Statue of Liberty needs to be amended. According to The Muppets, it should probably read something like this:

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free. Because LOL!!”