Priest and Nun Visit Sex Cult, Marry on ‘You, Me, and the Apocalypse’

It's fair to say that most of us would probably want one last sexual encounter if we knew the world was ending. Kind of sad, really, that we as a species have placed such a high priority on sex. Do you think the dinosaurs thought that way? Apparently not. So maybe there is some wisdom there. Regardless, it is apparent that NBC's You, Me and the Apocalypse feels as though humanity would simply devolve into one giant orgy if the planet's demise were imminent – even among those who have taken a vow of celibacy.  

As Father Jude (Rob Lowe) and Sister Celine (Gaia Scodellaro) investigate another self-proclaimed Messiah named Arless (Geoffrey Burton) in the episode titled "T Minus...", they are forced to “get married” in order to gain passage to his private Garden of Eden. Once there they learn Arless won the lottery, which he took as a sign from God to teach the world about “real love.” 

Arless: We teach love here. Love without guilt. None of that BS churches teach. Real love.

Real love, it turns out, is hedonism. 

Father Jude: In the interest of full disclosure, I think I should tell you that we are from the Vatican. I'm a priest, and Celine is a nun.

Arless: Right. Got fed up with celibacy, did Ya? Can't blame Ya. Very unhealthy. 

Celine: No, no, we actually came to investigate you. 

Ruth: Of course you did, dear. 

Father Jude: No, absolutely that's why we're here. 

Arless: Oh, come on, be honest with yourselves. The way you two look at each other. I can see it. The levels have opened you up. You're ready for love, honey. (People moaning in pleasure) Now, I expect you two wanna start with each other, but don't be shy now. It's more of a buffet than a set menu.

Fortunately Jude and Celine flee the sex cult but then question whether or not the marriage was official, and which vows to follow. 

Celine: What if it is a sign, giving us his blessing? 

Father Jude: For what?

Celine: For the wedding. 

Father Jude: That wasn't real. 

Celine: You kissed me, Jude. It was not acting. It wasn't. Was it? 

Father Jude: I wasn't acting. I think about you all the time. But Celine, I've been a priest for 20 years. I've never broken my vows. And I don't think you should either.

Celine: What if God wants us to? What if that is a sign?

Father Jude: I'm afraid it's probably wishful thinking.

Celine: Well, why don't you ask him?

Father Jude: Right now? Dear Lord... Dear Lord, I know you have a lot on your plate right now. But if this is what you want, please show me a sign. (Firecrackers exploding) (People cheering) Okay, my logical mind says that that probably has something to do with the Saviour Launch celebration. 

Celine: Yes, maybe. Or maybe it's God. What do you want it to be, Jude? 

Well, fireworks on a night of celebration is the sign the couple wants so of course they end the night by consummating their vows. Not that we didn't see this happening, but it would have been a pleasant surprise to see these two devout Catholics be more interested in their vows to God. But I guess that's not "real love."

Curtis Louder
Curtis Louder is a contributing writer for NewsBsuters