In Wednesday's episode of South Park before the election, "Fort Collins," the show seems to be facing the same electoral struggle the rest of the country is going through right now: Donald Trump is a Giant Douche, but Hillary Clinton is such a Turd Sandwich.
Mr. Garrison is still trying to prevent himself from getting elected president. He tried being dirty and vulgar, his newest idea is to “finally just talk like a normal human being.” Somehow his most compelling argument is to “remember that every vote for Hillary Clinton is a vote that shows the world we agree that ‘The Force Awakens’ was more like a ‘Happy Days’ reunion special than a movie.”
Of course, Turd Sandwich is giddy over all this. She thinks she’s going to win. There’s just one problem: Troll Trace.
Denmark has created an anti-trolling system in retaliation for the suicide of a Danish cancer survivor over online bullying by Skankhunt42 (South Park’s own Gerald). Their Troll Trace program can expose the full online history of anyone at anytime – kind of like Wikileaks on steroids. This could prove especially disastrous for trolls, cheaters, or… Hillary Clinton.
Mr. Garrison: My fellow Americans, we live in an unprecedented time of uncertainty. I want to speak to you, human to human, because, with God's grace, this will be the last time you ever hear from me. When I started this campaign, I was saying a lot of shit because I was angry. And then I turned that anger into pushing buttons by being more and more outrageous. Slowly, people started paying attention to me, and I guess it made me feel powerful. Well, now the chickens have come home to roost. Sooner or later, we all get exposed. We're all held accountable for what we say and what we do. There's only one thing that matters now. On November 8th, you must vote against me and show the world that you didn't think the new "Star Wars" was all that good. When you're in that voting booth, remember that every vote for Hillary Clinton is a vote that shows the world we agree that "The Force Awakens" was more like a "Happy Days" reunion special than a movie. The choice is yours, America. Please make the right one.
Aide: The Danish claim they will soon have the ability to publish anyone's Internet history. We have to act fast, Mrs. Sandwich.
Hillary: I'll have you treat me with more respect. Haven't you seen the polls? It's President Elect Sandwich.
Aide: We might not want to get too far ahead of ourselves. Troll Trace must be stopped.
Hillary: Who is Skankhunt42?
Aide: We believe...he's the only one who can save you now.
Since the next new South Park episode airs the day after the election, I guess the creators are leaving it to us and history to decide: does the anti-Star Wars vote put Hillary over the top or does Wikileaks take her down?
The choice is yours, America.
