There South Park goes again, finding a line and going miles across it. Wednesday night’s episode was titled “Wieners Out” and, yes, that’s meant to be taken literally. How creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone got cartoon elementary school boys pulling down their pants and showing their wieners on TV past the censors, I will never know.
It all starts when Butters flips out over his Canadian girlfriend dumping him in solidarity with the other girls of South Park Elementary School who broke up with their boyfriends last episode in protest of online trolling. Butters rallies the boys in unity, saying, “The world wants us all to feel shame just 'cause we were all born with wieners!”
Kyle: Guys, I've been thinking this over a lot, and we need to be more active in showing the girls we respect them. There's a big girls' volleyball game tonight, and we should all go and show our support.
Boy: You really think that's gonna make a difference?
Kyle: I do. We need to show the girls that all boys aren't the same, and that we are willing to change.
Butters: Oh, why don't you shut the [bleep] Up, Kyle?! All I've been hearing about the past few weeks is how this is our problem, how boys need to change. Well, I'm getting pretty sick of it! Everyone else seems to be able to be proud of who they are, but not us. And then we got Uncle Kyle here telling us the girls are right.
Kyle: Butters.
Butters: This is a war on all of us! You want to listen to Uncle Kyle? Go ahead! Pretty soon they'll be locking us all up. And don't think you're safe, either, Tweek and Craig. Just 'cause you're gay doesn't mean you aren't looked down upon for being boys. The world wants us all to feel shame just 'cause we were all born with wieners!
Kyle: Butters, you need to calm down.
Butters: No! We tried doing it your way, Kyle. We tried doing what the girls wanted us to do, and where did it get us? Nowhere. Right! It turned us against one of our own, that's what it did! What happened to Eric Cartman is the girls' fault, not ours!
Boy: That’s true.
Butters: I’m done feeling guilt. I'm a boy, dag nab it. And you know what, I'm proud of my little wiener! Mark my words -- The moment is coming when you all need to decide. Are you with your kind, or are you with Uncle Kyle?
After J.J. Abrams solved our National Anthem protest problem by having people honor America whether they choose to stand, sit, or kneel, Butters decides to mark his protest by pulling his pants down and raising his fist in the air during the Star-Spangled Banner at a girls’ volleyball game. Quickly, the other boys at the game follow suit and #WienersOut becomes a movement with the boys walking around the school naked from the waist down with Butters chanting:
We walk together in peace! We walk together in pride! We are not going to feel ashamed for who we are! We are not going to feel guilt for the way we were born! Wieners out! Don't let anyone tell you you're somehow less because you're a boy! Don't let anyone tell you to not think with your wiener, as if your wiener is a bad thing! What makes us different makes us beautiful! No more shame! No more doubt! No more bigotry! Wieners out!
With this new protest of the boys exposing themselves, PC Principal is in a bind - “I want to be very upset. However, as a community, we have all decided that people have the right to protest the National Anthem… I am in a PC pretzel here because if I say they can't protest even though you protested, and the only difference is their protest included physical gestures, then I'm body-shaming!”
PC Principal: Make no mistake. I want to be very upset. However, as a community, we have all decided that people have the right to protest the National Anthem.
Girl: They took their wieners out!
PC Principal: Correct. But they did so peacefully and without malice towards others.
Girl: This was an attack on us. This is exactly why we sat out the National Anthem in the first place!
PC Principal: I want you to understand something, ladies. I am in a PC pretzel here because if I say they can't protest even though you protested, and the only difference is their protest included physical gestures, then I'm body-shaming!
Girl: So, you're just gonna let boys take their wieners out whenever they want?
PC Principal: That’s what happens when you sit out the National Anthem.
Thanks, Colin Kaepernick, for unleashing all this insanity!
