Amidst all the shows with a blatant liberal agenda, “Last Man Standing” is a lone conservative voice on ABC; a gem hidden away in the 8pm Friday night slot. The latest episode of the sitcom, "Free Range Parents," hits scaredy-cat overprotective parents, leftwing news, and even Hillary Clinton.
Mike Baxter (Tim Allen) is trying to get his son-in-law, Ryan, to allow his grandson to walk 6 blocks home from school by himself, but liberal Ryan worries too much about everything, from diabetes to free range parenting, or as Mike calls it, “childhood.”
-Look, he's six blocks from here. Let him walk home.
-Mike, we've talked about this, okay? I think it's way too dangerous.
-You think everything's dangerous. You know, it's starting to rub off on that kid. He looked at an ice cream truck, and he called it "The diabetes wagon."
-Well, it is, okay? Do you want to know why kids scream for ice cream? Because they're dying.
-Well, all of our kids walked home from Clark every day without any problems.
-MM. Except for our little brother Oliver.
-Oh, but it's only been five years. Little Ollie might still turn up.
-You know what, don't even joke about stuff like that, okay? There are child abductions all the time. That's why I don't buy into the whole free-range parenting thing.
-Okay, what is that? Is that where, like, the kids live on the farm and learn to make wooden furniture? Or wait -- what's amish?
-It's this new movement where parents are letting their kids play outside unsupervised.
-We used to call that "Childhood."
-I just don't see the upside in letting Boyd walk home, all right?
-You know what, I work with children every day, Ryan, and they need to be given responsibility. I mean, a good kick in the ass would be better, but then I would be "Unfit as an educator."
-That was fun today. Can I walk home by myself tomorrow?
-Uh, I don't know about that, buddy.
-Come on, dad. Please? I'll help you save the whales.
-We won't serve whale at outdoor man grill.
-Fine. Okay? We will try it. But look, you come right home after school, okay? No stopping, no talking, no playing.
-Sounds like childhood in North Korea.
-Where you're probably allowed to kick students in the ass. Lucky.
-Well, congratulations. You get to walk home from school. Tonight we celebrate with a big bowl of diabetes.
Mike's old school message is clear: Just let kids play! He bemoans the fact that the liberal news media manipulates emotions by trying to scare you that “free enterprise might make somebody rich.”
-No, this is good. I've been trying to get him to let Boyd have a little more independence.
-No, this -- this is exactly why we're not selling toys here. These parents are too overprotective nowadays. My mom once for a birthday party gave me a plastic gun. On the box, it said "A great way to put out an eye."
-Okay, Ryan means well. He just watches the news too much.
-The lefty news. All they're scared about is free enterprise might make somebody rich.
In his final video monologue on scare tactics, fear, and courage, Mike talks about what distinguishes people from animals: "Human beings are blessed with reason." The problem is that some of us, like his liberal son-in-law, are too scared to use it. Then he takes a parting shot at Hillary Clinton:
Hey, Mike Baxter for outdoor man here to talk about scare tactics. Sadly, they work. I'm just enjoying some mixed nut-- oh. You see, the part of the brain that triggers fear works faster than the part that controls reason. For some people -- little kids who are afraid of the dark and certain son-in-laws who are afraid of... Well, just about everything, the reason part of the brain never really kicks in.
As a contrast, animals don't have reason. That's why the stupid coyote always ends up in midair holding that stick of dynamite. And that's why my dog panics every time the doorbell rings. He goes nuts, and I try to explain to him, "Listen, burglars don't ring the doorbell." And you just get that look from the dog. Human beings are blessed with reason. But it's harder to use it when the media bombards you with terrifying images -- tsunamis, plane crashes, the new colonel Sanders. That's why I'm declaring outdoor man a fear-free zone, because we don't sell fear. We sell courage, we sell engagement between man and nature in the form of kayaks, climbing gear, and -- on sale this month -- casting rods. You see, the world is kind of the opposite of Hillary Clinton. It actually gets less scary the better you know it. I'll leave you with a quote. "Fearless is not the absence of fear. Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death." And what great philosopher said that? Aristotle? Schopenhauer? Descartes? No, it -- it was Taylor Swift. If that ain't scary, I don't know what is.
Now that's an empowering, common sense conservative message that sadly is sorely lacking on television, and in today's society in general. It's a rare show that's fearless enough to take on the left's sacred cows - perhaps the last one standing.
