Bozell to CBS: We'll Help You Find a Couric Replacement
Rumor has it that CBS News is going to name Scott Pelley as Couric's successor. But what's the rush? You've been in last place for well over a decade. Another few days won't matter. Do not make (another) rash, premature, impulsive decision. Vet all your options – especially when the MRC’s 500,000 members are coming to the rescue.
I'm pleased to announce that the Media Research Center has launched a national search committee and is soliciting recommendations for the next CBS Evening News anchor.
CBS likes people with charisma – like Charlie Sheen, maybe? He too is looking for work. Or someone with "CBS depth" – so how about Britney Spears? Or maybe someone who is sweet, perky and – oh wait a minute, you tried that already.
Instead of making any rash decisions, we urge you to postpone your decision and give us a chance to weigh in. And after the committee convenes, I will return to announce our recommendation.
Let the search begin! But don't wait too, too long. The ratings footsteps you hear are Al Gore's Current TV gaining.
- Brent Bozell's blog
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Comments
Sir, there is only one man
Submitted by Mark Finkelstein on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 10:58am.
Sir, there is only one man for this job: Keith Olbermann, sir!
replacement
Submitted by dpeters8 on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:04am.
I think we need a newsbuster's poll...Megyn Kelly, E. D. Hill, Page Hopkins, Kiran Chetry, Alisyn Camerota, Courtney Friel....
The list that would be the
Submitted by buddyc on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:36am.
The list that would be the best fit for CBS:
Benny Hill (who could better represent CBS's serious approach to the news)
Michael Richards
Edward R. Murrow (more alive than Bob Schieffer who has been brain dead for 15 years)
Lady Gaga (more intelligent than Couric)
Mike Tyson (a black Bob Schieffer)
Howard Dean (yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
Larry King (more left in his brain than Bob Schieffer's)
Gwyneth Paltrow (as interesting, articulate and perky as Couric)
I thought Bennie Hill was
Submitted by ricklail on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 6:22pm.
I thought Bennie Hill was Tango Uniform?
Oh hell YEAH!
Submitted by brutony1 on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:53pm.
Wow, you be going OLD school with those choices-good ones, to be sure! Dont forget Laurie Dhue-she was a Hall Of Famer! And why not? Why cant CBS put on a hot, right-leaning, articulate woman who can guarantee better ratings? Their previous plan hasnt worked so far, so why dont they cater to the majority? Dont hold your breath!
When will liberals WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! -Me
Classic They broke the 'mold'
Submitted by buddyc on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:07am.
Classic
They broke the 'mold' when the made Couric. She cannot be replaced.
That's it, Buddy,
Submitted by UpNorth on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:09am.
rather than replace her, and that's no reference to Dan either, just give us a half hour of dead air. I'm willing to bet that SeeBS's ratings would go up.
Sham Wow!
Submitted by Red Jeep on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:31am.
How about a 1/2 hour Sham Wow infomercial! Make money on that!
Yes
Submitted by buddyc on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:39am.
Yes
How about
Submitted by Lord-come-soon-... on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:59am.
The old Test Pattern Indian...... I mean "Native American"?
Like this one?
Submitted by Beukeboom on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:26pm.
Like this one?
Cool!
Submitted by Red Jeep on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 2:03pm.
Cool!
Beukeboom
Submitted by Lord-come-soon-... on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 3:49pm.
Once again, you made my day!
The problem isn't the talking head reading the teleprompter.
Submitted by no tingly legs on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:11am.
It's the folks writing the bovine excrement on that teleprompter and those editing it. As long as the MSM sees itself as an Obama cheerleading squad and their role as pushing a radical leftist agenda, nothing will change. They might as well rename themselves Pravda.
Mr. B - Thanks for letting us share our 2 cents!
Submitted by Grumpy in Arizona on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:13am.
CBS: Please consider these:
Kieth Olbermann … He fits right in with your ‘unbiased’ themes … and you can probably get him cheap.
Justin Beiber … He’ll take the ‘perky thing’ to a whole new level, will bring in the youth demographic, and will be a great “presenter of the news” because he’s a performer and doesn’t have any of that ‘journalistic baggage’ to hinder him.
Walter Cronkite … You will save a fortune just by re-running his old shows, and you won’t have to change your long-established point-of-view.
Anybody with a British accent… You know what suckers we American’s are for that type accent… Is Benny Hill still around?
- Grump :o)
In keeping with the British accent
Submitted by c5then on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:20am.
and in honor of the royal wedding this weekend....
I vote for Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson)
Madison and Jefferson and Franklin built a Republic - Roberts killed it!
Mr. Bean for anchor
Submitted by sarge329 on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 8:25pm.
At least, Rowan Atkinson was a professional comedian. He actually TRIES to be funny. The anchors ( newsreaders, really ) don't try to be. They just can't help it.
Ratings.
Submitted by blazermaniac on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:14am.
If CBS wants ratings, how about Rush Limbaugh? Things would at least be interesting at CBS, because they haven't been for a long, long time.
CBS Anchor nominations
Submitted by River City on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:29am.
I nominate Shepard Smith.
It gets him off Fox then I don't have to accidentally have to watch his SMUG mug.
Then it makes room for Adam Housley or Jonathan Hunt to take over the afternoon news shows.
"Money is the scourge of the men who attempt to reverse the law of causality--the men who seek to replace the mind by seizing the products of the mind." Ayn Rand
Today Show
Submitted by grammajane on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:30am.
She was from the Today Show so maybe they could hire Lauer and keep it all in the family.
Why bother with an anchor in
Submitted by Beukeboom on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:35am.
Why bother with an anchor in the first place? Just go from story to story (packages, VOSOTs, VOs) with reporters doing the VOs.
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz or
Submitted by ant on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:36am.
Debbie Wasserman-Schultz or Frodo Baggins (has the same elf vibe but is better looking).
That is the funniest thing I have read
Submitted by gwalt on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 1:34pm.
That is the funniest thing I have read in weeks! I just about spit up my lunch. DWS or Frodo! Instant classic!
"A lot of briefing for a 2 hr. special with Dan Rather. Saw the show & wonder why we bothered". Ronald Reagan
Wassermann Schultz?
Submitted by CO2Maker on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 2:09pm.
Isn't that a test for syphillis that Ed "I hope my face doesn't freeze this way" took?
Multi Culti Pick
Submitted by Comrade Jim on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:37am.
Muhammad il bin Awadaal al Marhawan de BeDeeDee of al Jazeera.
Baghdad Bob?
Submitted by Beukeboom on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:39am.
Baghdad Bob?
Good call
Submitted by OuttaMyWay on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 10:35pm.
How about Baghdad Gibbs?
IF you want a talking head:
Submitted by Dbak61 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 2:38am.
Max Headroom!
Sheesh, go for the obvious
Submitted by DontFeedTheTrolls on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:45am.
The choice is obvious, Barack Obama. He loves to read from a teleprompter, he wants to be on TV most days (when not on vacation, possibly a conflict), he can lie real good, he won't be missed in his current job, he will give CBS authentic 'blackness' and maybe even 'street cred', he knows how to whine, he hates Republicans, and more!
Couric replacement?
Submitted by KyWriter on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:50am.
Given the self-important posturing of most primetime anchors, I'd recommend Ted Baxter. I suspect Couric's negotiations with CBS went along the lines of Ted's asking his boss for a raise:
Lou Grant: You want a raise, is that it?
Ted Baxter: Lou, I've written a figure on this pad.
Lou Grant: Ted, I've written two words on this pad.
Ted Baxter: Lou, I think there's some room for negotiation between that figure and those words.
Ted Baxter?
Submitted by gwalt on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 1:31pm.
Doesn't he already have a gig on Fox at 8:00?
"A lot of briefing for a 2 hr. special with Dan Rather. Saw the show & wonder why we bothered". Ronald Reagan
Alas, he does.
Submitted by KyWriter on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 1:59pm.
It must be part of Fox's outreach to the terminally befuddled.
Well, Ted was supposed to be...
Submitted by mzk1 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 9:20am.
a takeoff on Walter Cronkite.
Only he was a better anchor.
Ratings?
Submitted by Tomorama on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:07pm.
Ann Coulter.
Glenn Beck - no seriously!
Submitted by jdhawk on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:17pm.
Glenn Beck - no seriously!
I would watch that
Submitted by johnsonl on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 2:13pm.
newscast religiously. We could start a pool on how long it would take CBS to start rumbling about firing him. We could hang a countdown clock behind him...
Megyn Kelly
Submitted by forest on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:20pm.
If CBS were half as concerned about ratings as they are about pushing an ideology, Megyn Kelly would be terrific. Get rid of the collectivist ideologue producers, pay Kelly top dollar, and dominate the ratings.
No!!!!
Submitted by octavioj on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 3:06pm.
I like Megyn too much forest to put her in that spot. But I vote for her to get Glenn Beck's slot when he leaves TV later in the year.
How about an
Submitted by misterbee241 on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:22pm.
infomercial in that spot?
Who cares who CBS replaces Couric with....
Submitted by PrairieSky on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:34pm.
No one watches that news program anyway.
That said, who ever gets the job will no doubt be just another lefty libnut mouthpiece...The liberal groupthink is so entrenched at CBS, there is no way that they won't continue to perpetuate it with whoever they decide to put on the air.
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction...It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them (our children) to do the same." ~President Ronald Reagan
Couric Replacement
Submitted by Hispano Republican on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:45pm.
Bill Maher is the obvious choice... He hates everybody but himself.
Actually, the further left they are,,
Submitted by brutony1 on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:56pm.
The more Maher loves them. Theyd never go for him-too expensive. They should get Mika-it gets her off Morning Schmo, amd shed be in her element as a lefty wing nut!
When will liberals WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! -Me
Perfect!
Submitted by mzk1 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 9:22am.
After all, George S. does news, why not Carter's NatSec Adv's daughter?
Hey, maybe Amy Carter?
How About
Submitted by KornKing on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 12:50pm.
They could just run ABC/NBC/CNN on a tape delay
Replace her with Hypnotoad
Submitted by CobraMan on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 1:14pm.
They should replace her with Hypnotoad. It can only improve their ratings. Heh.
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States. The US Constitution
Unless you're a fetus. The US Supreme Court
Or Anwar al-Awlaki.
+1 For Britney Spears. She
Submitted by Ruths husband Ben on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 1:31pm.
+1 For Britney Spears. She would bring gravitas to the news that has long been missing. And she looks pretty good in a thong (a qualification that leave Keith Olbermann out).
I hear Lindsay Lohan is
Submitted by Beukeboom on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 1:44pm.
I hear Lindsay Lohan is looking for work.
You're missing the most obvious candidate!
Submitted by CO2Maker on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 2:04pm.
This person has lots of impressive press credentials, having made his chops in the most difficult spot for reporters in the Western Hemisphere. A former soccer goalie known for deflecting tough questions and being on top of all topics, foreign and domestic. I am referring to none other than ... drum roll, please ....
Robert "They Call Me Mister" Gibbs.
CBS can continue their award-winning adulation of the president without missing a single beat.
And in the spirit of the times when names are shortened and then blended together, he can be RoGi
I hear Gibbs is still
Submitted by forest on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 4:25pm.
I hear Gibbs is still wandering around the White House basement looking for his stapler.
Skip the anchor
Submitted by Model850 on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 4:26pm.
Just point the camera at the teleprompter and let the viewers -- both of them -- read the stories themselves. At the rate the network must be losing money on the newscast it'd be a real savings not having to pay any (cough) "talent."
rachel maddow is the man for
Submitted by Infidelphia on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 5:29pm.
rachel maddow is the man for the job
CBS should hire Angry White Dude
Submitted by jefflebowski on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 7:20pm.
AWD would be a breath of fresh air at the stale libtarded CBS! Their ratings would surge as conservatives tired of PC would tune into CBS to hear something not heard there since....forever. The truth!
Angry White Dude
www.angrywhitedude.com
Divine intervention is needed...
Submitted by j_phred on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 9:55pm.
I suggest St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. What could be more appropriate?
St. Jude is taking a pass on
Submitted by Beukeboom on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 10:12am.
St. Jude is taking a pass on this one.
The adobe voice
Submitted by OuttaMyWay on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 10:38pm.
Open adobe reader. Go to View (kind of ironic) and choose Read out loud.
And adobe reader is free.
If they actually want people
Submitted by talkradio55 on Wed, 04/27/2011 - 11:22pm.
If they actually want people to watch objective news, Lara Logan.
If they want the same old tripe, hire Keith Olbermann.
CGI
Submitted by Boil It Down on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 12:39am.
How about a computer generated image and voice with only the complete and actual facts of each story? This would be much cheaper while giving the viewers more of what they want and need with a much higher level of integrity.
Max Hedroom??
Submitted by CO2Maker on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 10:40pm.
Not a bad idea, but you'll have to fight Garry Trudy-Oh for the rights.
Olbermann? Paris Hilton? Joy
Submitted by Rusty Shackleford on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 1:20am.
Olbermann? Paris Hilton? Joy Behar?
FOOLS! ALL OF YOU!
Why go for an underling when you can go for the real deal? CBS News should be anchored by George Soros, and during sweeps month he should appear in his true form for the massive ratings (that's assuming he can manifest himself in the form of Satan in this dimension).
If Soros demands too much then you should pick the closest college student you can find. Like Couric, they're probably a useful idiot for the cause but as a college student they know everything abouyt everything. That means CBS can fire all of their correspondents and journalists and save enough cash to afford living under Obamunism!
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Chris Matthews: The Joy Behar of MSNBC.
Bill Maher: The Joy Behar of HBO.
Paul Krugman: The Joy Behar of The New York Times.
I don't care who they get because I don't watch the evening...
Submitted by jawebster1 on Thu, 04/28/2011 - 2:37am.
news on the networks. In fact, I've never watched the network news. I realized early on how biased and Liberal they all were. And that explains why even though I watch Fox News, I never watch 'Sheptard' Smith.