Flashback: ‘Bastard in the Sand’ Parody Sung by Martin Short Accompanied by the ‘Singing Navy SEALS’

Back in May, actor/comedian Martin Short celebrated the killing of Osama bin Laden by singing, on the Late Show with David Letterman, “Bastard in the Sand,” a parody set to the tune of Elton John's “Candle in the Wind.”

With the tenth anniversary of 9/11 on Sunday, I thought I'd re-post video of the entertaining song (original May 30 NB post).

As he played the piano and sang, he was accompanied by five people dressed as Navy SEALs whom the Late Show blog, the Wahoo Gazette, called “the Singing Navy SEALs.” A couple of the humorous stanzas:

    In the afterlife, six dozen virgins sure sounded swell
    So it must've burned your ass, when you ended up in hell.

    It seems to me you lived your life like a bastard in the sand
    Never knowing when the U.S. Navy SEALs would land.


Most of the lyrics, as posted in the Wahoo Gazette for the Tuesday, May 17, 2011 program:

    "BASTARD IN THE SAND"
    "Goodbye, Al Qaeda's Rose
    Your beard never seemed too clean to me
    So I'm glad they washed you off
    Before they dumped you in the sea.

    In the afterlife
    Six dozen virgins sure sounded swell
    So it must've burned your ass
    When you ended up in hell.

    It seems to me you lived your life
    Like a bastard in the sand
    Never knowing when the U.S. Navy SEALs would land
    They caught you by surprise inside your secret base
    Could've shot you anywhere
    But why not in the face?

    Goodbye, Al Qaeda’s Rose
    To the world you were mad
    And to your kids and 22 wives
    You were also a deadbeat dad.

    Multi-million dollar bounty
    Placed on your head
    You were wanted 'dead or alive'
    But in the end we went with 'dead'."


Letterman’s Web site has a longer video with Letterman and Short before and after the song.

Brent Baker
Brent Baker
Brent Baker is the Steven P.J. Wood Senior Fellow and VP for Research and Publications at the Media Research Center