On Thursday's Daily Show on Comedy Central, Kristen Schaal played the part of "senior women's issues correspondent" to inject humor into the clash between Republican presidential candidates Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry over the Texas governor's support for mandating HPV vaccinations to prevent girls from contracting cervical cancer later in life.
As she weighed which candidate would be best for women, citing Bachmann's opposition to forcing girls to get the vaccine, Schaal cracked that Bachmann only supports a "woman's right to choose" if the choice is to get cancer. Below is a transcript of the relevant portion of the Thursday, September 15, Daily Show with Jon Stewart:
KRISTEN SCHAAL, SENIOR WOMEN'S ISSUES CORRESPONDENT: Well, Jon, now I'm torn. On one hand, Governor Perry is taking care of Texas vaginas, but he did it with a government mandate to force it on young girls. It's like he's trying to turn Texas into some kind of poo nanny state. Michele Bachmann, on the other hand, is arguing for a woman's right to choose, but only if that chioce is getting cancer. The truth is, neither is the strong pro-"vag" candidate women are looking for. But you know who I feel the worst for? The children.
JON STEWART: Because they'll be more likely to get cervical cancer?
SCHAAL: Well, that, but also because they'll never get to play with my Michele Bachmann Big Mouth Billie Vagina.
CLIP OF VAGINA SINGING: Take me to the clinic, take me to the clinic!