Dennis Miller Quips: Impeach Prez If Chooses Losing L.A. Over Waterboarding, Obama ‘Spooning’ Chavez

On Wednesday’s The O’Reilly Factor, comedian and FNC contributor Dennis Miller quipped that any President who chose to let Los Angeles get attacked by terrorists instead of using information obtained from waterboarding should be "impeached because you’re crazy at that point." He also optimistically theorized that "I don't think Barack Obama is anywhere near crazy." Miller: "But if you're telling me, if you're the President and they say, ‘Listen, they wanted to blow up L.A., we got some information out of this guy and we saved L.A.,’ and you look and say, ‘Well, I'm not going to use it. We're going to let L.A. go,’ then you've got to be impeached because you're crazy at that point. And I don't think Barack Obama is anywhere near crazy."

As the conversation turned to President Obama’s friendly reaction toward Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez and other left-wing, anti-America world leaders, Miller quipped that Obama "doesn't have to spoon this mook." Concerned with the image that such public cordiality would send to those who fight against tyranny, he continued: "Imagine how it breaks the spirit of a freedom fighter to look up and see Barack Obama in a pas de deux with this pig. It's unbelievable to me."

Miller:

Well, listen, all through this campaign, I heard from Barack Obama that words matter and a picture is worth 1,000 words. Now, I understand keep your enemies closer, but you don't have to spoon this mook, okay? Imagine how it breaks the spirit of a freedom fighter to look up and see Barack Obama in a pas de deux with this pig. It's unbelievable to me. You know, Barack, he appears that he does have some part of him is a bully. It's just he likes to bully people who aren't bullies but who bully bullies. I just don't understand why he would want to be in a photo-op with this five-and-under extra player from the Sopranos.

Below is a complete transcript of the regular "Miller Time" segment from the Wednesday, April 22, The O’Reilly Factor on FNC:

BILL O'REILLY: In the "Miller Time" segment today, let's go right to the D-man who's in Los Angeles because we have a lot to talk about, beginning with this whole interrogation torture situation. You know, this is an emotional thing for me, Miller, because I know a lot of people who lost loved ones on 9/11. They live in my town. And they're all absolutely crazed that Barack Obama may allow a phony, unnecessary show trial driven by the far left. What say you?

DENNIS MILLER: I don't think he'll go ahead with it, because I think, I'll be honest with you, I've been pretty even-headed with the President so far, giving him praise when I felt he deserved it, been quizzical when I didn't quite understand something. He starts doing that, he loses me.

O'REILLY: Yeah.

MILLER: I'm off the reservation. And I think a lot of Americans are. He might view vacillation as genius, and that's why he's going back and forth on this. Some of us view it as opportunism. If he's going to start caving to lightweights like Patrick Leahy on this, you ever sit on your back porch on a nice summer night and one of those white daffodil heads that are all dried out flies by you? As far as Leahy goes, he makes that look like titanium he's such a lightweight. And if you're going to cave into a punk like him, you might as well be Harpo, leaning up against that wall in the movie. That's not caving in. That's giving in to something that barely exists to begin with. So he best not bend on this. You want to go after Bush and these guys in a show trial, you've lost half of America, I think.

O'REILLY: Listen, I couldn't agree with you more. Morris disagrees with me. Of course, Ellis Henican disagrees with me. But I think the folks-

MILLER: Who?

O'REILLY: Ellis Henican. We had him on earlier in the program.

MILLER: Is he the Vlasik pickle bird?

O'REILLY: While you were getting heavily made up, he was on the program, so you missed that.

MILLER: Okay. Ellis Henican?

O'REILLY: Yes. He's a good guy, but he is a confirmed left-winger. And today we find out, we found out three things. Some very big Democrats told us you were absolutely right, Miller, that Obama is not going to do this. We don't know if that's true or not. That's what we were told. We found out that George Soros is pushing this big time. And MoveOn, and we're going to play this commercial tomorrow, has an ad out: let's hang all the Bush people. Now, if Obama throws in with Soros and MoveOn, it's over. It is over. His presidency is over, I think.

MILLER: Listen, terror, you know, torture is a subjective thing. Some people view this as torture. Some view it as harsh interrogation. I happen to view it as the first shower some of these slugs in Gitmo have had in around eight years. So waterboarding doesn't break my heart. But if you're telling me, if you're the President and they say, "Listen, they wanted to blow up L.A., we got some information out of this guy and we saved L.A.," and you look and say, "Well, I'm not going to use it. We're going to let L.A. go," then you've got to be impeached because you're crazy at that point. And I don't think Barack Obama is anywhere near crazy.

O'REILLY: No, I don't either. But it's, I will say this about the President. He has made an enormous mistake letting it go on this long. He made a mistake yesterday saying he might consider it. Those are all mistakes that should have been put to bed a long time ago.

MILLER: Well, Bill, listen, it's worth it to him if he has accrued the approbation of Ellis Penican.

O'REILLY: Henican.

MILLER: Sorry.

O'REILLY: And I like Ellis. I just want to make it clear. He's got a lot of guts to come in.

MILLER: He's a genius. I love him. He's worth more than me.

O'REILLY: All right. Chavez, now I understand you were invited to dinner with Chavez and Obama, but you couldn't make it. So how did you, how did you see from afar? What was your assessment?

MILLER: Well, listen, all through this campaign, I heard from Barack Obama that words matter and a picture is worth 1,000 words. Now, I understand keep your enemies closer, but you don't have to spoon this mook, okay? Imagine how it breaks the spirit of a freedom fighter to look up and see Barack Obama in a pas de deux with this pig. It's unbelievable to me. You know, Barack, he appears that he does have some part of him is a bully. It's just he likes to bully people who aren't bullies but who bully bullies. I just don't understand why he would want to be in a photo-op with this five-and-under extra player from the Sopranos.

O'REILLY: What if you were the President, God help us, and this guy walked over with this dopey book in front of the cameras? What would you have done? Hit him with the book? What would you have done?

MILLER: Listen, I would have said, "If this guy tries to get anywhere near me with a book, I want him tackled. I want to duck and cover like the old bomb shelter thing. I don't want to be put in photo-ops where we might break the hearts and the spirits of our fighting," listen, Barack Obama can choose to put the nape of his neck under this guy's instep. He gets to get on Air Force One and go home. There are people that have that enforced on them on a day-to-day basis. Talk to Maria Conchita Alonzo about this. It was a heart-breaking gesture, it is a heart-breaking gesture for him to do that.

O'REILLY: All right. And talk about heart-breaking, Miss California loses the USA title because she supports traditional marriage. And you say?

MILLER: Billy, I'm a traditionalist. I like my beauty pageants. I like a chick in a bikini shooting an arrow through a tomatillo at 30 paces while singing MacArthur Park, so I don't get this whole brave new world. But all I know is we live in a peculiar time in history where you can lose a beauty pageant saying the same thing that will not have cost you the American presidency. I believe she said the exact same thing that Barack Obama has said. And I don't understand, if we're going to start turning beauty pageants into the UWAC committee, at least, at least let these women take the fifth if it's going to cost them the thing. Let's get their lawyer out here. Let's have Michael Corleone fly the, you know, Perez Hilton's brother-in-law in from Cecilia, or Sicily, and have him sit next to him in the courtroom. To me it's a beauty pageant. And if they're going to have empirical measures about a woman's height and weight, they should also tell her, "And listen, by the way, we're going to ask you some questions. And if you don't answer this, you can't win." At least hand that out to them so they get the handout and figure out whether they want to play or not.

O'REILLY: They should know the rules. Should know the rules. Now, we're going to have Donald Trump on here tomorrow. And he, of course, ran that pageant. So that should be interesting. All right, Miller, you were wound up tonight. I like it. And I'm going to set you and Ellis Henican up for a little snack next time you're around.

MILLER: Well, listen, I'm sorry I called Sicily Cecilia, and I'm sorry I called Ellis Pelican Ellis Island.

O'REILLY: Straight ahead, "Barack and a Hard Place." What was the best thing the President did this week? And what was the worst thing he did? We'll have it for you, in a moment.