I am probably the only writer on NewsBusters to have received an award from the Soviet Union. It was for my work as an American correspondent for Krokodil Magazine which you can see chronicled in I Was A Commie Writer.

I live in South Florida which is full of eccentrics which is why I feel right at home here. My main accomplishments in life were winning a bottle of aftershave when I was eight and having the biggest PING List (over 1000 Pingees) on the Free Republic forum for my DUmmie FUnnies blog. This is fortunate since I suffer severely from Ping List Envy. 

Prior to the advent of the Web, I wrote a syndicated humor column that appeared in dozens of newspapers throughout North America. Only complete humility forbids me from telling you that my columns appeared in the Houston Chronicle, St. Petersburg Times, L.A Herald-Examiner, Winnipeg Free Press, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Vancouver Sun, and lots of other periodicals that I am much to humble to list. 

 Oh, I also produced an award-winning satirical comix website called PJ's Comix. This sort of balances out the fact that I am the WORST basketball player in the world.

When I lived in Los Angeles, I wrote comedy material for comedians. Sorry,  due to business ethics I can't reveal any of their names (Argus Hamilton).

Latest from P.J. Gladnick
February 5, 2014, 10:20 AM EST

Of all the stories written about the tragedy of the life of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman being cut short by heroin, the most bizarre has to be the article written by Lee "Sockpuppet" Siegel at the New Yorker. Unbelievably Siegel has actually found an upside to Hoffman's heroin addiction. He claims that it  helped Hoffman's performances. I kid you not.

Here is Siegel coming close to glorifying substance abuse: "...the brute, ugly fact might also be that the poison was his elixir."  If you think this quote was taken out of context, here is the entire paragraph which almost sounds like a paean to the artistic advantages of battling the demons of drug addiction:

February 4, 2014, 3:19 PM EST

New York Times columnist Ross Douthat could hardly be considered a conservative in the mold of, say, a Ted Cruz. Most often he has reflected the "conservativism" of fellow New York Times columnist David Brooks who last summer came out in strong support for the Senate immigration bill.

Therefore it was a very pleasant surprise that Douthat broke with his fellow "conservative" columnist by recently denouncing the Republican establishment push to pass an immigration bill this year as "perverse":

January 17, 2014, 9:03 PM EST

So you think the Brosurance and the Pajama Boy ads for Obamacare were pretty weird? Well, to paraphrase Al Jolson, you ain't seen nothing yet!

And what you haven't seen yet is a surreal danceoff performance between Richard Simmons and a contortionist during a six hour Obamacare infomercial produced by Covered California. They were supposed to inspire young people to sign up but mostly what they did was to generate a lot of laughter...along with a bunch of dropped jaws. Perhaps "surreal" doesn't adequately describe this video (and below the fold) since it is more like a laughable rip in the space/time continuum.

January 14, 2014, 8:47 AM EST

Although yesterday's report of 2.2 million Obamacare "enrollees" focused on the fact that less than a quarter of the 'signups' were under 34 years of age in contrast to the 40% that were expected for the program to work, another important figure was mostly overlooked in the reports. Namely, just how real is that 2.2 million "enrollment" figure. Although Time's Swampland headline jubilantly proclaimed  "Huge Surge in Obamacare Enrollment Reported," Yahoo Finance put it in proper perspective with this harsh dose of reality:

Insurers are finding they're ending up with a lot more applications than payments.

December 31, 2013, 10:38 AM EST

The helicopter rescue crew is coming to take me away, ha-haaa!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa!
To the funny farm. Where I can find banana peanut butter milkshakes sprinkled with delicious carbon credits.
We thought it was a joke and so we laughed, we laughed when I had said that proving global warming had trapped us in ice and that I'm going MAD!!!

And U.K. Guardian reporter Laurence Topham has proclaimed himself going mad (along with his craving for banana peanut butter milkshakes) in this rather morose video diary in which he discovers that that the adventure to the Antarctic to report on "climate change" has brutally backfired to the extent of causing him to go stir crazy. Watch the video below and note the strange similarity with the mood of the Jack Nicholson character in "The Shining."

December 30, 2013, 3:39 PM EST

Sarah Kliff could barely contain her joy while exclaiming unto all the world in her Washington Post article about a supposed "December Deluge" in which "1.1 million have enrolled in healthcare.gov" since the beginning of October. However, a very important word is missing in her story. The P-Word as in "PAID." Yes, according to Sarah, over a million "enrollees" have deluged the federal exchange website but is it unreasonable to wonder how they could have paid their premiums since, as yet, that website has no payment system set up.

However, far be it for me to spoil her party mood so let us now join Sarah exuberantly celebrating her "deluge" statistics which very conveniently doesn't mention PAID enrollees:

December 28, 2013, 6:46 PM EST

Somewhere far, far to the south where it is summer, a group of global warming scientists are trapped in the Antarctic ice. If you missed the irony of that situation, it is because much of the mainstream media has glossed over that rather inconvenient bit of hilarity. As an example here is an Associated Press story that avoids mentioning the real mission of the scientists aboard the icebound Russian ship:

The Snow Dragon icebreaker came within 7 miles (11 kilometers) of the Russian ship MV Akademik Shokalskiy, which has been stuck since Christmas Eve, but had to retreat after the ice became too thick, said expedition spokesman Alvin Stone.

December 17, 2013, 2:18 PM EST

At long last. After weeks of unrelenting bad news, Obamacare supporters in the mainstream media believe the cavalry has come to the rescue in the form of increased advertising buys by insurance companies. Huh? How does increased ad buys translate into Obamacare success? Well, the talking point now being recited is that the promised increase in advertising by the insurance companies translates into their confidence in Obamacare which somehow means it's going to work.

Paul Krugman, who a couple of months ago was celebrating the "success" of Obamacare based on discovering one person in New Jersey who signed up, is now in a similar state of bliss because "The Big Money Bets on Obamacare":

December 10, 2013, 4:23 PM EST

Congratulations to New York Times writers Lizette Alvarez and Jennifer Preston. They managed to write an upbeat article about the "vastly improved' Obamacare website without mentioning not one but two huge elephants in the room.

The writers bubble over with excitement over the fact that in the first week of December, 112,000 people "selected plans" at the HealthCare.gov website. Left unsaid was the fact that there is still no payment system on that website plus the fact that anybody providing their personal information is at extreme risk of having his personal information hacked due to the fact that HealthCare.gov continues to lack security. However, such "minor" details are conveniently ignored as the Times writers provide us with happy talking points:

December 4, 2013, 3:15 PM EST

Happy talk, keep talking happy talk,
Talk about things you'd like to do,
You gotta have a dream, if you don't have a dream,
How you gonna have a dream come true?
  ---"Happy Talk" from "South Pacific."

Carrie Budoff Brown was bubbling over with joy about a supposed Obamacare "surge" in her Politico article. Yes, supposedly massive new Obamacare numbers were suddenly showing up in the past few days. But what did they really mean? Fortunately for those praying for Obamacare success, Brown did not burst that joy bubble until well into the article with crucial caveats to the "surge" numbers. First let us look at the Happy Talk Brown presents at the beginning of the article before we delve into the buried inconvenient truths:

November 28, 2013, 2:40 PM EST

BABY PANDA!

Don't be too surprised if you hear a liberal relative shout that out at the Thanksgiving table today if the topic of talk turns to Obamacare. Although Barack Obama himself has been urging members of Organizing For America to bring up Obamacare talking points at the dinner parties today, another liberal school of thought is that the President's signature program has fumbled so badly that it is now too embarrassing to defend. So when a gloating relative points out that conservatives have been right about the train wreck of Obamacare all along, one must change the subject entirely. Huffington Post writers Nick wing and Shadee Ashtari provide some helpful tips on what subjects a liberal can bring up to change the subject away from the embarrassment of Obamacare:

November 26, 2013, 10:07 AM EST

The mainstream media has finally gotten around to covering the "knockout game" which has already been reported on Fox News. However, even though they are now beginning to report on it, they still cling to some biases. In the case of the Today Show it was a bias against defending yourself with legal weapons. In their story about the knockout game which included a segment about one of the perpetrators, Marvell Weaver, being caught and sent to prison, they completely skipped the reason why he was apprehended. Of course, to have reported on that reason for his capture would have damaged their bias against citizens arming themselves since Weaver was shot twice by his intended victim who was a concealed carry permit holder.

Here is the Today Show report by Jeff Rossen who very conveniently skipped the "little" detail of the perp being caught because he was shot in self-defense:

November 24, 2013, 9:09 AM EST

You have to give the Kossacks over at the Daily Kos an A for effort.  They try, oh how they try, to convince each other that Obamacare is a success despite all evidence to the contrary. The result of their effort is pure unadulterated comedy as you can see in the optimistic title of their thread, "Obamacare enrollments double in last three weeks." Of course the source of their optimism comes from the pretension that Medicaid enrollments count as ObamaCare enrollments and the looky loos who have yet to make an actual payment also count as part of the total.  However, who are we to spoil their party so let us now watch the Kossacks try a bit too hard to bubble over with joy:

Enrollments have doubled since the end of October, from 106,000 to more than 200,000. That figure comes from the 14 states that have set up their own exchanges, and will be higher when the federal numbers are added in.

November 22, 2013, 7:08 AM EST

Looky Loo: A term for someone who looks at something with no intention of buying it.

CNN Money published an article trumpeting the fact that 10,000 per day were "applying" (also "registering") on the California Obamacare website, Covered California. Among the many statistics happily tossed out by the reporter, Tami Luhby, one is notably missing. The most important stat of them all: how many people actually paid for an Obamacare insurance policy. So let us now join Ms Luhby reciting the California Obamacare statistics...except for the most vital one:

November 11, 2013, 7:04 PM EST

"SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!"

That was the demand of Jerry Maguire and the demand of your humble correspondent is SHOW ME THE DATA!!!  I make this request because Nick Madigan of the New York Times wrote an article projecting heavy ocean flooding of South Florida in this century based on no solid evidence. Here are a few samplings of Madigan's fact free alarmisms:

November 10, 2013, 8:43 AM EST

If you are a health policy reporter for the Washington Post and take upon yourself the role of cheerleader for Obamacare, the task can be quite challenging. Therefore one must admire the effort that Sarah Kliff displays into putting a positive spin on this bit of pathetically sad news:

The District of Columbia's insurance marketplace has enrolled exactly five people in health plans, according to documents released by the Senate Finance Committee on Friday.

November 5, 2013, 10:13 AM EST

If thou art privy to thy country's fate,
Which, happily, foreknowing may avoid, O, speak!
---Hamlet.

Quick! Someone get in touch with the editor of Guns & Ammo magazine, Dick Metcalf, and let him know that "happily" as used in the early 17 century by William Shakespeare does not mean "happy" but "perhaps." And perhaps (happily) Mr. Metcalf won't make the same ridiculous error again when he completely misinterpreted the 18th century meaning of "Well regulated militia" in the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution to mean government regulations as a justification to call for gun control.

Bryan Preston of the PJ Tatler points out the blatantly obvious which went completely over Metcalf's head when he wrote a gun control column:

October 21, 2013, 12:03 PM EDT

Oops!

Sarah Kliff of the Washington Post has been forced to perform yet another ObamaCare Oops!

When last we encountered the Polyanna ObamaCare cheerleader Kliff she was claiming that young people were among the more enthusiastic ObamaCare shoppers based on evidence that ranged from nil to none. This empty claim came on the heels of her previous ObamaCare Oops when Kliff, after hailing one Chad Henderson of Georgia for supposedly enrolling in ObamaCare, was forced to backtrack the very next day after Peter Suderman of Reason performed some real journalism and discovered that Chad's "success" story was false. You would think Ms Kliff would have learned from her tragically funny experience but noooooo. She has now made an error of such proportions that basically involves thousands of Chad Hendersons. Here is Kliff last Thursday happily announcing that "ObamaCare just cut Oregon's uninsured rate by 10 percent":

October 15, 2013, 8:13 AM EDT

Break out the confetti!

Strike up the band!

It's time for an "ObamaCare Success" victory parade!

And what was this "ObamaCare Success?" Why, it was Paul Krugman conveniently discovering ONE unnamed person who claims to have "signed up" for ObamaCare. Here is Krugman breathlessly describing this astounding "ObamaCare Success":

October 12, 2013, 10:35 AM EDT

If Washington Post writer, Sarah Kliff, of the WonkBlog had been the music director aboard the Titanic, the last tune played on the deck of the sinking ship would probably have been Happy Days Are Here Again. I make that claim because Ms Kliff has taken upon herself the role as pollyannish cheerleader for the "train wreck" known as ObamaCare.

In her latest desperate search for a nonexistent silver lining, Kliff has conjured up what she imagines to be an indication that young people might, could be, maybe, possibly are interested in signing up for ObamaCare. Here is Kliff imagining what she so desperately hopes to be true based on nothing real: