With ObamaCare about to start signing up its first patients and Congress in the middle of a debate concerning its funding, the folks at NBC’s Saturday Night Live decided to begin their new season this weekend mocking the president and his signature piece of legislation.
The cold open started on C-SPAN with Barack Obama played by Jay Pharoah speaking about the Affordable Care Act at Prince George’s Community College (video follows with transcribed highlights and commentary):
After talking about the insurance exchanges opening to the public Tuesday and that many people don’t know how the program works, he brought up people to speak about the Act.
First was a sales clerk from Maryland who said she was “psyched” about ObamaCare because now she could get sick any time while getting free healthcare and free medicine.
“I’ve stopped washing my hands and I’m licking hella subway polls,” she said.
Pharoah then explained that one of the benefits of the program was that young people could stay on their parents’ plans until they’re 26. To demonstrate this, he brought up a father and son to offer their experience.
Unfortunately, the father complained about his “dumb, lazy, good for nothing son” getting full healthcare coverage without having to pay for it.
“We kept telling him, ‘Hey, idiot, you have to get a job to earn healthcare,’” the father said. “But Mr. Obama here, he made sure that my son will never have to lift a finger to get insurance.”
After relaying a story about his son pinching a nerve while watching porn, the father said, “You’re a loser, son.”
“If I'm a loser, how come I have healthcare,” the son replied.
As the pair was escorted away from the podium, the father turned to Pharoah and said, “This is your fault.” He then looked at the camera and shouted, “Chris Christie in '16.”
As the sketch wound to a close, Pharoah brought up ObamaCare Oscar to do the Healthcare Boogey.
Signing up is “as easy as 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9” he sang and danced just before falling off the stage and complaining that he had broken his leg.
“Quick, quick, somebody please call an ambulance,” Pharoah said.
“No, don’t call an ambulance,” replied Oscar. “I don’t have health insurance.”
“What? Why didn’t you sign up?” asked Pharoah.
“It was too complicated to figure out,” Oscar answered. "I'm not a citizen either. I was born in Libya. My family came here for the welfare. Oh, Allah, help me.”
The sketch ended with Pharoah saying, “Okay, I have not explained this law well, okay? My apologies, all right?”
And this was how Saturday Night Live began its new season.