It was a metaphysical certitude that Bill Maher would take cheap shots at the Pope on HBO's Real Time Friday.
True to form, Maher actually began the show with a series of Pope jokes mostly involving child molestation (video follows with transcript and commentary):
BILL MAHER: Thank you for putting on a brave face because, you know, we are Pope-less. It's the first time in 600 years we've been Pope-less and Jesus, what if God tries to tell us something? Who's he going to talk to? I've been thinking about this all day.
I kid the Pope. Did you see him yesterday? It was moving day. It was. It's funny how, you know, when you're molesting kids it's an ironclad brotherhood, but you need somebody to help you move suddenly everybody's busy.
I kid the Cardinals. They chipped in. They got him a t-shirt that said, "I'm not retiring. I'm being put out to stud." They are always kidding around, the Cardinals.
Not the Pope, though. He is serious. He made a farewell speech. He said being Pope was a great burden, and he said there were moments where it seemed like the Lord was sleeping. Wow! Sleeping, or like the kids at Catholic summer camp, pretending to be asleep perhaps.
If memory serves me correctly, Real Time was off last week. As such, Maher had two weeks to write jokes about this subject.
Is child molestation really the best he and his crackerjack staff can come up with with so much time on their hands?