Rather than actually taking heat - or heaven forbid having to apologize! - for kissing Anderson Cooper's crotch on CNN's New Year's Eve program a few weeks ago, vulgarian comedienne Kathy Griffin continues to do a victory lap for her antics.
On TBS's Conan Wednesday night, Griffin even said, "They did actually get the highest ratings since 2008, and I think it's because I kissed Anderson's sardine. I really do" (video follows with transcript and commentary):
CONAN O’BRIEN, HOST: I want to ask you, speaking of getting in trouble, you co-hosted CNN's New Year's Eve…
KATHY GRIFFIN: Yes.
O’BRIEN: …with Anderson Cooper.
GRIFFIN: Yes I did.
O’BRIEN: You two have a great chemistry. I enjoy watching you.
GRIFFIN: Thank you.
O’BRIEN: But you got into some trouble, is that right? Is that fair to say you got into a little trouble?
GRIFFIN: Oh, because I tried to blow him? Look, let me tell you something, I'm a newswoman. I'm practically an anchor over there at CNN at this point.
O’BRIEN: Oh, I didn't realize.
GRIFFIN: And every year, Anderson Cooper is like, “Please do something really offensive. Please.” And I'm like, “Okay, whatever Anderson.” So this year there was actually a remote. And, you know, during New Year’s you go to this city or that city. We were going to Eastport, Maine. Kind of your old hood. Sort of similar area.
O’BRIEN: Couple of thousand miles away, but yeah.
GRIFFIN: It’s similar, short drive. And they actually have a thing where, a yearly tradition where they kiss the sardine.
O’BRIEN: Kiss the sardine, yes.
GRIFFIN: So, what happened was, well you have a clip?
O’BRIEN: We have a clip of what happened, yeah.
GRIFFIN: Because I'm not ashamed to say I tried to kiss the sardine.
GRIFFIN: That's your issue. That’s where you’re coming from.
O’BRIEN: Why are you bringing? This is not my issue?
GRIFFIN: I feel like it's your issue.
O’BRIEN: No, it’s not my issue.
GRIFFIN: I stand by it. I stand by kissing his sardine.
O’BRIEN: Not my issue at all. I say, “Go for it, man.” But I'm hip with all of that stuff. No, it was, I thought you had to write some apologies after this happened.
GRIFFIN: Well, CNN, every year they fire me. Oh, yeah, it's my seventh year in a row. Every January 1 I get fired, and they want me to apologize, and then I don't. And then, like at the eleventh hour they rehire me. But they did actually get the highest ratings since 2008, and I think it's because I kissed Anderson's sardine. I really do.
O’BRIEN: Alright, let's take a look at this moment and decide for ourselves.
After showing the clip, the crowd burst out in applause.
O’BRIEN: Poor Anderson! Anderson Cooper clearly couldn't handle that.
GRIFFIN: He has just given up. He’s just beaten down like a pound dog at this point. He is just sitting there like, we used to try to rehearse, and then he would call me the day before and say, “Look, I just got back from Jalalabad. What do you want to do?” And now honestly, he's like, “I don't want to even talk to you. I’ll just see you there.” He knows I'm going to always try to pull something.
O’BRIEN: And then it looked like you were going back down there.
GRIFFIN: I tried all night, I tried all night to kiss his…
O’BRIEN: Well, that's, thanks for that. That and the Charlie Brown peering across the river. Two of the creepiest images I need to see any time soon.
GRIFFIN: I'm not afraid of the creepy.
O’BRIEN: Okay, so CNN, you think they're having back?
GRIFFIN: Oh, they’ll be begging. I don't know. I have no idea. I hope so.
Honestly, as odd as it might seem, I think Griffin's right: they will be begging her to come back on to do something likely more vulgar next New Year's eve.
This is what's become of the so-called "most trusted name in news."
It's a grave new world, isn't it?