Comedienne Kathy Griffin believes it's "only a matter of time" before personal finance expert Suze Orman is President of the United States.

Why you may ask.

"Because you want a nice, financially focused, dirty lesbian running this country."

So said Griffin Friday during an absolutely preposterous conversation with fellow comedienne Joy Behar on the latter's HLN program (video embedded below the fold with partial transcript):

Did you think that marriage was about love and selflessness and sharing? Not anymore. Marriage is about getting what's yours. At least according to Suze Orman, the personal finance expert known for saying "I told you so" when the economy crashed.

On Oct. 9 Orman advised "Today" show listeners not to invest in their marriage, saying, "Just to have everything [all your money] together allows you to have a big downfall if something goes wrong." She says it's just commonsense to have three bank accounts, "His, Hers, & Ours," so "nobody could take anybody else's money."

"You enter a relationship as an autonomous human being," Orman said. "You need to have your own money. He or she needs to have his or her own money. And then there needs to be a joint account."

Former President George W. Bush is personally responsible for the current financial crisis and should give every penny of his family fortune to the American people as a result.

So proclaimed financial advisor Suze Orman in an article published Friday at WWD. 

Ironically, the piece also pointed out that Orman didn't foresee the collapse of the financial services industry, and not only continued to recommend people buy real estate as the bubble was being pumped, but also purchased an expensive apartment in New York City close to the peak.

That's probably Bush's fault, too:

Just one night after CEO Donald Trump told "Larry King Live" viewers that the U.S. is in a "Depression," Suze Orman, personal finance expert and host of her own show, started talking about people in bread lines - but she wasn't making a historical reference.

According to Orman there are people in bread lines right now, some of them white collar workers:

"There are some people who can't find a job, they're trying to do anything and everything in their power to get by. They've lost their home, lost their car. They don't have any money in retirement, they don't have a penny - and what are they doing?" Orman said on the Feb. 5 CNN broadcast.

The media have been riding every ebb and flow of the stock market trying to determine what it indicates for the U.S. economy.

Even with volatility over the last four months, the Dow Jones Industrial Average is still up a little more than 5 percent for the year.

But Suze Orman, host of CNBC's "The Suze Orman Show," told viewers on NBC's November 13 "Today" that if you're investing for retirement, a lower stock market is exactly what you want.