It appears three times isn't a charm for horror author Stephen King, who in his third attempt at explaining his peculiar remarks about people who can't read ending up in the Army still couldn't muster the strength to apologize to those he's offended.

I guess in his world, literacy means never having to say you're sorry.

On the upside, at least this time he didn't tell anybody to shut up, or blame the outrage on "Guys like [Noel Sheppard who] take their cues from [conservative commentators Rush] Limbaugh and [Bill] O'Reilly."

So, we've got that going for us...which is nice.

But before we get there, let's look at King's strike three as posted at his website Wednesday (emphasis added):

For Stephen King's benefit, our friends at Are We Lumberjacks have updated an hysterical picture from November 2006 which humorously mocked John Kerry's offensive anti-military remark:

Horror author Stephen King's comments regarding illiteracy and the military have drawn criticism from the United States Army according to a report by CBS-TV affiliate in Washington, DC, WUSA channel 9.

As NewsBusters reported Monday, King recently told a group of high school students at the Library of Congress, "If you don't [read], then you've got, the Army, Iraq, I don't know, something like that."

According to WUSA, Paul Boyce of Army Public Affairs issued the following statement (video embedded right):

The battle between NewsBusters and horror novelist Stephen King went national Tuesday when the Associated Press picked up the story.

For those that haven't been following this, on Monday, NewsBusters reported King's disgraceful comments -- made in front of a group of high school students at the Library of Congress in April -- about people who can't read having few options other than to enlist in the Army.

This surprisingly prompted King to post a blurb at his website encouraging readers to send a message to me stating, "Hi, Noel—Stephen King says to shut up and I agree."

Now, the AP has expressed its view of this squabble, of course, with no mention of King's sorry call-to-arms (emphasis added):

The saga of horror novelist Stephen King's disgraceful comments about America's military took an interesting turn Monday when shortly after instructing visitors to his website to send me a message stating "Hi, Noel—Stephen King says to shut up and I agree," his own message boards were shut down.

This followed the creation of a number of threads by members that wanted to comment about King's remarks.

The cover-story for shutting down the boards came from the Moderator in a thread entitled "Stephen King Insults Soldiers":

You really can't make this stuff up!

Early Monday morning, NewsBusters informed readers about a truly disgraceful comment made last month by famed horror author Stephen King concerning people that can't read having to enter the Army (video embedded right).

Hours later, I mentioned in the comments section that I was receiving a lot of strange e-mail messages.

Well, it turns out King wrote about my piece at his website, and instructed readers to "find Sheppard on the internet" -- please notice the embedded link goes to my NewsBusters blog! -- and write me with text that included "Hi, Noel—Stephen King says to shut up and I agree":

Remember shortly before Election Day 2006 when Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) suggested that if you don't get a good education, "you get stuck in Iraq" (video available here)?

Well, last month, famed horror author Stephen King was speaking in front of a group of high school students at the Library of Congress, and he virtually made the exact same statement.

For those that can bear it, what follows is another in a long line of liberal media members bashing the military (embedded right, h/t Terry Ann):