Jack Bauer

New Stars of Fox's '24' Denounce Bush's 'Torture'

In short USA Today “dossiers” on fresh characters in the new season of Fox's 24 set to debut tonight (Sunday), two of the four profiled actors/actresses used the space to espouse their personal disgust with the U.S. government for using “torture,” which has been employed by lead character “Jack Bauer.” Left-wing activist/actress Janeane Garofalo, who plays “FBI analyst Janis Gold,” called the use of torture “reprehensible” and rued: “That our own administration borrowed ideas from 24 is such a tragedy.” USA Today explained: “A former Army interrogator has said that soldiers mimic interrogation tactics seen on the show.”

Garofalo conceded she “was initially very reticent to do it, because I heard about the right-wing nature of Joel's [24 co-creator Joel Surnow] politics and the torture-heavy scripts.” But, she quipped: “And then I thought, 'I'm unemployed!'" So much for standing up for principle.

Cherry Jones, who handles the role of “President Allison Taylor,” lamented “it's too bad this season's topic is not Wall Street. The torture thing is very unfortunate; I have trouble with it. Fortunately,” however, “my President,” meaning the character she plays, “is opposed to it."

Satire: Jack Bauer Gets Global Warming Mission

With Saturday's revelation that the hit television series "24" has gone carbon neutral, it only seems logical that some episodes next year might involve characters advancing anti-global warming principles or taking green measures to protect the environment.

Some have suggested lead character Jack Bauer, played by Kiefer Sutherland, might drive a Toyota Prius, for example.

Well, taking the possibilities to a conceivably absurd level for their comedic potential, NB member AGW Heretic has penned a wonderful idea that I certainly hope the good, green folks at Fox will consider for the upcoming season: