Humor

“Facing a clock some say has ticked down to zero, today 192 nations came together to take on a potential global catastrophe,” a dire ABC reporter Bob Woodruff ominously intoned from Copenhagen on Monday’s World News with “Saving the Planet?” on screen.

Those attending the conference on climate change “where an official said today the clock has ticked down to zero and it's time to act,” NBC anchor Brian Williams warned, “say it's so late in the game, so much damage has been done, they fear they can already see how this ends.” Anne Thompson then declared: “This is about life or death -- 192 countries are here in Copenhagen to cut the carbon emissions changing the climate and threatening the very existence of some nations and their people.”

Echoing that theme, CBS’s Mark Phillips stood in water up to his neck and then became completely submerged to illustrate the feared impact of rising sea levels: “The Maldives have become the canary in the global warming coal mine.”

NBC and ABC raised “ClimateGate” in passing – without actually using the term – only to dismiss the revelations. “The man who leads the U.N. panel that blames human activity for climate change said the science is broad and consistent,” Thompson reassured NBC viewers. Woodruff applied the “denier” pejorative as he asserted “climate change deniers say these e-mails are proof humans aren't causing global warming,” but “U.S. officials say the evidence proves otherwise.”

Oops!

"A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number."

That's the text of a correction the Post published yesterday to amend an error made in Akeya Dickson's article, "A note of hope from voices of experience: Public enemy reaches out to homeless youth in D.C."

Here's how the corrected portion now reads:

Public Enemy has earned notoriety with more than 20 years of politically charged music about fighting the power, challenging racism and declaring that 911 was a joke.

"911 Is a Joke" was a hit rap single in 1990 and the third track on Public Enemy's 1990 album, "Fear of a Black Planet."  The song was critical of slow response times from the 9-1-1 emergency dispatch service.

Just when you thought Obama-loving was on the decline, along comes an absolutely astonishing bit of sycophancy that totally boggles the mind.

The following is an actual headline published at New York magazine's The Cut blog moments ago: 

Michelle Obama Wore Clothes to Light the Christmas Tree

Now, the implication is that this is out of the ordinary. Do first ladies normally light the White House Christmas tree in the nude?

Thankfully, the article elaborated (h/t Rusty Weiss, screen capture from The Cut below the fold):

Check out the latest episode of NewsBusters’ Notable Quotables comedy show.

This week we have CBS’s Harry Smith on death watch for the Republican Party, Newsweek’s Eleanor Clift worshiping a new deity, and MSNBC’s Dr. Nancy Snyderman has some issues with white men.

Enjoy the show!

To see past and current episodes in a larger format, check out the NQ Show Eyeblast channel. 

A special captionfest thanks to a photo from the Mobile [Ala.] Press-Register, via al.com (h/t NB intern Mike Sargent):

Original caption: "A passing motorist's photo shows the unfortunate juxtaposition of three of WPMI-TV's on-air personalities with a Twitter headline stating that three people have been arrested in a gang rape case."

Take a sneak peak at the next episode of the Notable Quotables comedy show.

Apparently MSNBC’s Chris Matthews has a very interesting perspective on race relations.

Enjoy the show and have a Happy Thanksgiving.            

To see current and past episodes in a larger format, check out the NQ Show channel on Eyeblast.tv.

A special Captionfest, inspired by Gawker, which today published photos it says are of Katie Couric from a September 5, 2006 party celebrating Couric's first spin behind the anchor desk for the CBS "Evening News."

Take a look at some extra video footage from the latest episode of NewsBusters’ Notable Quotables comedy show.

CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric interviewing former Vice President Al Gore provided us with so much joke material we couldn’t fit it all in.

To see current and past episodes of the show check out the NQ Show channel on the Media Research Center’s video sharing website, Eyeblast.tv. There you can also view the show in full screen format.

Some vindication for Sarah Palin in the midst of non-stop media hostility. On Monday night's Late Show with David Letterman, guest Seth Myers, the head writer for Saturday Night Live who also anchors the comedy show's 'Weekend Update' fake newscast, noted how in her new book she asserts that during her guest appearance on the NBC show, just before the election, “that we had taken her mantra, 'drill baby drill,' and tried to make a rude double-entendre about it.”

Myers offered his verdict on the allegation, quipping: “I just want to come here tonight on the record and say that's one hundred percent true.” He recited the original proposed line for a rap: “When we're in Wassila it's chill baby chilla; In the bedroom with Todd it's drill baby drilla.”

Audio: MP3 clip

Veteran Sarah Palin hater Bonnie Erbe is at it again, today proclaiming the former Alaska governor is "loony" for saying that she would open her dinner table at Thanksgiving to the father of her grandson:

Say what, Sarah? This is the guy who refused to marry her daughter, Bristol, pregnant. This is the guy who has made a career (or tried to) by telling the Palin family secrets. And they are not pretty.

Erbe then went on to quote some of Johnston's (unsubstantiated) claims, before rendering her verdict:

Here is the latest episode of NewsBusters’ Notables Quotables show, featuring the liberal media’s most outrageous sound bites.

In this week’s episode we have Chris Matthews wondering what’s wrong with a quick phone call to terrorists, Matt Lauer worried about America getting a big head, and Actor Scott Wolf revealing the inspiration behind his role as a sell-out journalist in a new TV series.

Enjoy the show and to see current and past episodes in a larger format, visit the ‘Notable Quotables Show’ channel on the Media Research Center’s video sharing website, Eyeblast.

 

 

Episode three of NewsBusters’ Notable Quotables comedy show is coming soon and as usual, the liberal media have provided plenty of great material.

Here’s a quick taste of what’s to come, enjoy!

In the meantime, check out last week's episode.

Scott Wolf, the star of a new show about evil aliens who use superficial journalists to take over the planet, appeared on Monday’s Good Morning America and compared his "morally compromised" character to real-life CNN anchor Anderson Cooper. The V star asserted that "Chad Decker" doesn’t have much "gravitas" and added, "He's more of Anderson Cooper-y."

In the program, which premiered November 3 on ABC, Wolf’s fictional reporter scored an exclusive interview with "Anna," the lead alien, who is secretly plotting to take over the planet. She instructed him, "Just be sure not to ask anything that would paint us in a negative light." After he explained journalists must ask tough questions, Anna delivered this punch line: "That was not my understanding." [Audio available here.]

Under the threat of losing such a high-profile interview, Decker backpedaled and offered a promise to be "fair." The scene, which some conservatives might think reflects coverage the Obama administration has received, continued. The alien lectured, "You'll need to be more than fair if you want to proceed...We can't be seen in a negative light."

After Joe Scarborough’s intra-squad snarking of Keith Olbermann yesterday morning, one might have expected a better-behaved Brew Crew today.

No such luck for Chris Matthews – Pat Buchanan had different plans.

In a discussion of the polling data in Virginia’s gubernatorial race, Joe asked Lawrence O’Donnell why the Democrat was doing so poorly in a state that President Obama won by a large margin last year:

JOE SCARBOROUGH: Why [crosstalk] Democrats doing better in Virginia a year after Obama’s historic victory?

The technical term for the following video is “busting his chops.”

Joe Scarborough provided a wonderful satire of Keith Olbermann’s 2008 election-night bias on this morning’s edition of Morning Joe.  A partial transcript follows the video, which really must be watched for the full effect.

Attaboy, Joe. 

This sort of thing makes up for your left-of-center moments.

No bias, just a Joe Biden moment.

FNC's Geraldo Rivera inadvertently called Barack Obama "President Osama bin Laden" on the October 30 "Fox & Friends" program. 

The video's embedded below the page break. Enjoy (h/t NB commenter Blonde):

 

 

On Friday’s CBS Early Show, the day before Halloween, co-host Harry Smith got into the spirit of things with a costume that will truly give viewers nightmares for years to come.

Smith, a news anchor often known for being in touch with his feminine side, decided to dress up as the late celebrity chef Julia Child. As he described it, he was “Julia Child channeling Meryl Streep, channeling Julia Child.”  

The disturbing display featured Smith cracking eggs and brandishing a rubber chicken. It’s good to know that CBS is committed to maintaining the integrity and credibility of its lagging morning news program. 

After the premiere of the Notable Quotables comedy web show two weeks ago we got a lot of interest and feedback from readers. Here is the next episode, again, based on the Media Research Center’s bi-weekly publication Notable Quotables.

This week we have CBS fawning over Michelle Obama frolicking on the White House lawn, CNN psychoanalyzing Rush Limbaugh listeners, and MSNBC’s Chris Matthews in need of some psychiatric help of his own.

We hope you enjoy the show and let us know what you think.

In the 9AM ET hour of Morning Meeting on MSNBC Thursday, host Dylan Ratigan teased his colleague Contessa Brewer over her confusing Jesse Jackson with Al Sharpton on Wednesday: “And did you call Jesse Jackson Al Sharpton the other day?....Can we talk about that later?.... I think there’s some humor to be had in all this.” An embarrassed Brewer sarcastically remarked: “I would love to talk about this.”

While anchoring 2PM ET coverage on Wednesday, Brewer mistakenly introduced Reverend Jesse Jackson as Reverend Al Sharpton. After Jackson clarified his identity, she apologized: “I’m so sorry, the – the script in front of me said Reverend Al Sharpton...I know who you are, Reverend Jackson.”

As promised, the blooper was again brought up later in Thursday’s 9AM hour as MSNBC contributor Toure joked: “Contessa?....I’m not Al Sharpton....Just want to be clear on that.” Ratigan joined in: “This is not Al Sharpton....You understand that?” Toure went on to add: “I know you have that all black people look alike thing going on.” An upset Brewer shot back: “It wasn’t that. It’s – you know what, Toure?....Listen, thank you for clearing it up. I really appreciate that. Kind of you.” Ratigan declared: “Yeah. I'm not Al Sharpton either, Contessa, just for the record. I know I kind of have a slight resemblance.”

Taking a sampling from the Media Research Center’s bi-weekly publication of Notable Quotables, a compilation of the liberal media’s latest and most outrageous sound bites, NewsBusters bloggers have created a new comedy web show for readers to enjoy.

Take a look and let us know what you think.

 

 

 

Equipped with the state-of-the-art Media Research Center TV studio and the excellent production work of MRC Video Producer Bob Parks, we at NewsBusters have been hard at work developing a new biweekly program that mocks the liberal media's most outrageous and humorous soundbites.

We debut the new "Notable Quotables" video program on Monday, October 12, but you can catch a preview in a video embedded below the page break. Note: The show will not be replacing NewsBusted but will be in addition to it.

Today on "Hardball," host Chris Matthews sought to portray President Barack Obama as being on the rebound from a beating in his approval rating during "all the crazy stuff of the summer" such as "the tea parties, the birthers, the nutbags out there" who drove up Obama's disapproval numbers.

But the single poll he cited was dismissed as an outlier by guests Charlie Cook of Cook Political Report fame. John Harris of The Politico also agreed with Cook's assessment.

Video is embedded after the page break (audio available here):

Just to be ... fair to David Letterman, I figured it'd be only just to treat him to his very own Top Ten list dedicated to his current ... "situation." (The list was sent in by a loyal NB reader who didn't want attribution.) So, here it is -- "Top Ten Things About Letterman's Trysts With Staffers":

10. Learned everything he knows about interns from Bill Clinton.
9. Was jealous of A-Rod, if you know what I mean.
8. Well on the way to becoming the next ex-governor of New York.    
7. Makes Mark Sanford look like a rank amateur.
6. Because he’s a liberal, endorsement from NOW was never in jeopardy.
5. Didn’t care about the book, but wanted the movie rights to ‘The
Scarlet Letterman.’
4. Is so glad he didn’t have a ‘morals’ clause in his contract.
3. Has great story for his support group, ‘Philanderer’s Anonymous.’
2. If he had to do it over again, he’d collect cars like Jay Leno.
1. Gives company name “Worldwide Pants” a whole new meaning.

 

Addressing the UN on September 23,  Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi called Pres. Obama "our son" and expressed the hope he "can stay forever as the President of the United States." Photo Guardian [UK].

Taking the “Green Car Challenge” on Thursday night's Jay Leno Show, a svelte Rush Limbaugh -- declining to don a helmet -- hopped into the electric Ford Focus on Leno's track behind his NBC studio in Burbank, but instead of driving around the hanging cut outs of Al Gore and Ed Begley Jr., Limbaugh ran right into them.

Then, to Leno's cries of “Oh, c'mon!”, a delighted Limbaugh accepted the penalty against his time score and stopped, backed up and smashed into them again. Limbaugh's maneuvering ensured a lower score (greater time) than the three previous contestants since Leno's show debuted last week: Drew Barrymore, Al Michaels and Bob Costas.

But that didn't bother Limbaugh who afterward pumped his fists as he boasted: “It was worth it! It was worth it!”

Pivoting off of Christopher Anderson's new book, 'Barack and Michelle: Portrait of an American Marriage,' Jay Leno delivered this monologue joke, with MSNBC's Chris Matthews as the punch line, on Wednesday night's prime time Jay Leno Show on NBC:

There's a new book out about Barack and Michelle Obama's marriage and in it they say Michelle Obama was very upset by all these drooling blondes who would push up to her husband and rub themselves up against him. They said this one blonde was especially suggestive and kept rubbing up against the President. Finally, Michelle said, “Look, Chris Matthews, get away from my husband.”

Rush Limbaugh will be Leno's guest on Thursday night.

While Hollywood only rarely (and often by accident) produces something worthy, at least they’re always good for a laugh.

On today’s edition of Morning Joe, the pop culture guest du jour was Carole King, prolific and famous songwriter for Hollywood’s golden music days.  Now the NewsBusters readers of greater life experience may initially have a “Don’t Bring Me Down” reaction – until one gets to this quote:

I want them to learn that they’re there, and that they [wilderness in the United States] need to be protected in the future, because we have about 97 percent of our American land is developed.  And the number, that three percent keeps dwindling, dwindling.  We’ve got to keep our national parks in our minds as we go to protect new wilderness – which, new wilderness is really preserving the status quo.  It’s a new designation, same old God-given land.