Kossacks Try to Convince Themselves of Obamacare 'Success'

You have to give the Kossacks over at the Daily Kos an A for effort.  They try, oh how they try, to convince each other that Obamacare is a success despite all evidence to the contrary. The result of their effort is pure unadulterated comedy as you can see in the optimistic title of their thread, "Obamacare enrollments double in last three weeks." Of course the source of their optimism comes from the pretension that Medicaid enrollments count as ObamaCare enrollments and the looky loos who have yet to make an actual payment also count as part of the total.  However, who are we to spoil their party so let us now watch the Kossacks try a bit too hard to bubble over with joy:

Enrollments have doubled since the end of October, from 106,000 to more than 200,000. That figure comes from the 14 states that have set up their own exchanges, and will be higher when the federal numbers are added in.

If you count how many of those "enrollments" have actually paid, the answer would end your party pronto. However, proceed with your entertaining tidings of Obamacare joy:

The California surge is particularly noteworthy, accounting for about a third of the enrollments nationally, and also way ahead of what the state expected to see so early in the process. Likewise, Washington state is seeing huge increases, from 55,000 enrolled at the end of October to 98,000 in the first two weeks of November. Connecticut reports that 14 percent of its projected enrollments are complete. This leads all of the states to expect a huge number of enrollments post-Thanksgiving, as people make their decisions and sign up before the new December 23 deadline for January 1 coverage.

As we have seen, the California "enrollments" have yet to officially include one known paid enrollee. And since the Obamacare website has not even set up a payment system, the time frame for those who could overcome sticker shock and pay is much less than a month...if it is ever ready by then. Unfortunately for the Kossacks even some of those among its own ranks rain on their happy parade with an annoying reality check:

They're including Medicaid because it counts as new coverage.

To get an idea of how laughable the concept of "enrollee" is, let us take a look at some input from a Kossack "enrollee":

I'm one of the enrollees. But I'm still waiting for an email from the insurance company I selected. So I'm in some sort of limbo. Do we know how many enrollees have selected an insurance plan but like me are waiting to complete the process?

Later we learn that this "enrollee" has been in limbo for 3 weeks. How much longer will he have to wait? With the way the Obamacare website is (not) working, perhaps he will remain in limbo judging by this followup made by the Kossack "enrollee" to the insurance company he supposedly enrolled in:

I did call them. They had not received my application (gave them all the numbers, App and Case) they told me they had received a "batch" of applications they had not gone through yet. They are supposed to call me back when they figure it out.

Do not worry, they will figure it out in 24 business hours. And what one Kossack has figured out is the brutal truth of what an enrollment really means:

One reason for low reported enrollments could be because they aren't counted until the first payment is made.

The good news is that we do have one confirmed Kossack payment. Of course, the big question is if the payment  was actually made to the right place:

I finally got through and selected a plan a few days ago. I was online with a live chat operator at the time, and he volunteered that I didn't have to pay until Dec. 15- coverage wouldn't start until Jan. 1 anyway. I told him, only half joking, that I wanted to improve my state's enrollment figures. Also, my current policy will be canceled 12/31, and I'll feel safer with a new one in hand. He replied that I should "do what I think is best." I thought that was a little odd……and went ahead and paid the first month's premium.

Didn't Shakespeare say something about a fool and his money are soon parted? Finally we have this unwelcome observation from an obvious party pooper:

This is almost become sad. This whole thread is people whooping it up over a really horrible number being doubled, to a less shitty number.

You can see more about the Kossacks "whooping it up" over Obamacare at the DUmmie FUnnies.

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.