Private Joker! What is your major malfunction?
That is what I felt like yelling at Matthew Modine aka Private Joker after watching a bizarre video he produced in support of the Occupy Wall Street movement. Rather than shed any light on the subject of OWS, all Modine seemed to accomplish was to make the viewer as confused as Lou Costello trying to make sense of what Bud Abbott was attempting to explain about Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know on third. Watch Private Joker's OWS propaganda video below the fold and see if you can make any sense of four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
Got that? If not, then let Private Joker Modine explain:
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. The best way to create hope is to create opportunity.
You know what? I can make more sense out of Who's on first. But since Private Joker is so interested in the subject of OWS, your humble correspondent suggests he look at this real-life Occupy Tucson video.
As you can see, Matthew, Everybody is grabbing Somebody who is cursing at Anybody who is shoving Nobody. Got that? Call it a "people-powered movement" in action as you put it in your laughably clichéd "People" treatise:
OWS is a people-powered movement that began in the financial district of New York City and has grown into a global occupation. It's people from all over the world asking for better management. People asking this from their leaders and nations. People recognizing that governments commitment to the future is short-sighted. People exercising their right to demonstrate -- which is the most basic emblem of democracy. Everybody is each of us.
And here is your first general order, Private Joker. Take the very real Occupy Tucson video and mix in Star Trek fight scene music. It would be vastly more entertaining, informative, and, above all, less annoying than your bizarre OWS propaganda film with the irritating Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody shtick.