'Rand Fan' Impersonator Apologizes for Being an Idiot and Quits Columnist Job

Does anybody out there remember Tyler Collins who earlier this month had the distinction of performing perhaps the worst political impersonation ever recorded? Collins later claimed that his "performance" at Kentucky's annual Fancy Farm picnic was just satire but for satire to work, it must have even a slight degree of credibility. Nobody bought Tyler's obvious act which was so humiliating that all he accomplished was embarrassing himself and becoming a Web laughingstock. In fact, "Rand Fan" Collins, who was also a columnist for the Crittenden Press, was so embarrassing in his entirely unconvincing role as a Tea Partier that even former fake Washington Post "conservative" Dave Weigel panned his pathetic act:

When Collins was young and irresponsible, he was young and irresponsible. He's not the first kid to play dress-up to make fun of a politician he dislikes, and he won't be the last. But he really should have dropped the ruse when he was caught; he must realize now that he's become a cause celebre for activists who claim that all "racism" in the tea party is fake.

And here is Tyler Collins stubbornly remaining in stupid mode in response to a skeptical TV news reporter:

 

 

So now that "Rand Fan" Tyler Collins got busted and realized his pathetic attempts to make Senate candidate Rand Paul look bad completely backfired on him, he is forced to make an apology:

I did something that was stupid, not in the best of taste, and that I have regretted since the moment I left Fancy Farm, and for this act, I deeply apologize. I wore a tin foil hat “to keep the government out of my head”, sported a Rand Paul 2010 sign on my back, and had a sign with a Dora the Explorer piñata (a Hispanic cartoon character) that was duct taped to it that read, “They take our Jobs, Steal the American Dream, corrupt our children, Rand Paul 2010.” The purpose was to use satire to protest the lack of sympathy that I felt Hispanics were not given considering some of their situations. I respect all opinions and justified convictions that people who disagree with me may have.

I paraded around Fancy Farm as a Rand Paul supporter and sorry to say was taken seriously by some. While there are a few people who are motivated by race in whom or what they support, I do not believe that includes the majority of Rand Paul supporters. While I have criticized the TEA party movement in the past, I recognize them as Patriotic Americans who want to make a difference and bring about change that this country is in desperate need of, and my words have not been guarded as well as they should have been. For that I cannot express enough remorse. I have never tried to infiltrate a Tea Party event and I never will. Furthermore, I believe that infiltration is wrong—period , even if someone believes that the end justifies the means. There is no justification in trying to infringe on anyone’s 1st amendment right, and I believe Tea Party infiltration fits that bill.

...When being interviewed by Channel 11 News, the reporter asked me a few questions in which I am addressing in this article. I reacted the way I did because I had never been interviewed before, and I was struggling with the spur of the moment decision to explain it as satire or stay in character. I wrongly chose staying in character. I have not released an apology sooner because I have tried to shield my family from any backlash, and I did not want a sensationalized media story. I further apologize to my family, Crittenden County and my readers for not holding myself to the standards that I have for myself. What I did was wrong and I will not try to justify it.

...For several reasons I have decided to stop writing for the Crittenden Press and put a temporary hold on any political involvement during this campaign cycle except for voting.

Not to worry, Mr. Rand Fan. The world might have lost a horrible impersonator but it has gained someone who has proven his qualification to sit at the head of the table of the Dinner for Schmucks.

P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick
P.J. Gladnick is a freelance writer and creator of the DUmmie FUnnies blog.