The AP Talks of 'Happy Fish'

February 21st, 2009 6:59 AM

Fish are people to, you know? At least the Associated Press seems to think so. It's the weekend, so let's talk about a silly little tale of anthropomorphic nonsense, shall we? It seems the AP has decided that a ruling by officials that run a state park in Pennsylvania that allows people to feed bread to carp at Pymatuning State Park will make the fish "happy."

With a report headlined "Fish likely to be happy with Pennsylvania ruling" the AP has absurdly decided that fish both know that their gastronomic intake was a subject of the Pennsylvania legislature and will be satisfied with the final ruling.

In a move likely to be popular with tourists and fish alike, Pennsylvania officials will not prohibit feeding bread to the carp at a park in the state's northwest corner.

The fish happy? How, exactly, does the AP know that the fish are happy? For that matter, how does the AP know that fish can even be happy?

Well, obviously they don't. Fish can't be happy. They have no emotions of that sort. This is indicative, though, of the sort of humanization of animals that is simply idiotic.

But, then again, it IS the weekend. So, let's just lighten up and laugh at the silliness of the AP.