WaPo Lauds Liberal Jesus-for-Prez Novel: He's a 'Unitarian Porn Star'?

August 24th, 2008 7:52 AM

Ron Charles is a senior editor of the Washington Post's Sunday Book World section. He's also honest enough to admit he's liberal, he loved the schmaltzy '70s novel Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and loves the new Jesus in his book review of the novel American Savior. We're told "He's hip, he's hunky and all about tolerance, like a Unitarian porn star."

The novel is all about Jesus coming back to Earth to run for president of the United States -- as a liberal, of course:

When asked about the Divine Party's platform, Jesus tells his staff, "I'm running on the beatitudes."

"They'll hammer you on national defense."

"It would not be the first time," Jesus says.

He's also not a tax-cutter.

He arrives in a black Hummer, guarded by biker-gangsters. "You are a nation in grave spiritual danger," he tells 60,000 people -- voters, protesters and fanatics. "I cannot say I will cut your taxes and raise your salaries. What I can say is that you will have a nation based on kindness and goodness." The crowd goes wild: "Jee-zus! Jee-zus! JEE-ZUS!"

And of course, he's smeared as gay by the vicious conservative media:

The Democratic and Republican candidates aren't quite sure how to respond to this unusual opponent, but their minions quickly go negative. The Washington Times runs a front page photo of Jesus embracing a boy with Down syndrome: "So-called Jesus Candidate Revealed To Be Gay. Former Homosexual Lover Admits to Five-Month Affair." Rather than deny those allegations, Jesus counters with a brilliantly staged stop at the West Edfort rodeo in New Mexico. He's a man's man. The next morning the Amarillo Chronicle cheers: "Candidate Christ Takes Bull By Horns."

Ron Charles reveals his own views in this graf:

Merullo was born and raised a Roman Catholic in Boston, but his recent novels are decidedly ecumenical, with a sparkly touch of New Age spirituality. The Jesus of American Savior should be familiar to liberal Protestants who grew up thinking Jonathan Livingston Seagull was, like, really profound. (Guilty.) His theology is a brand of sweet Christian Gnosticism: "We are locked in a dream," he tells his campaign staff. Through many lives, we learn dominion over the "thought-force." He's hunky and hip and all about tolerance, like a Unitarian porn star. And please, don't call him "Lord"; he hates that. "For the record," he says, "I never came to be worshipped, not the first time and not this time. I came to be emulated."

The only people Jesus is really against, in fact, are evangelical Christians and conservative politicians, who, if they read this novel, will have to keep turning the other cheek again and again.

[Image from Jesusisaliberal.org]