When Marie Claire [1] magazine isn't busy making women feel like they are too old or too fat, they are telling women who drive SUVs they'll be heading to "carbon emissions hell [2]."

The September 2007 issue of Marie Claire features a sidebar in their "McBulletin" section entitled "Highway to Heaven."

"Consult our quick guide to fuel-efficient cars, then cruise through the tollbooth at the pearly green gates," the tag line explained, nestled between a scale of "good" and "evil" signs.

According to the piece, if you drive a Toyota Prius Hybrid or a Honda Civic Hybrid, you are pious and your reward is "Dinner in heaven with Leonardo DiCaprio."

Drive a Honda Civic or Accord, Toyota Corolla, Ford Escape Hybrid 4WD or Toyota Highlander Hybrid 4WD and you will get a "Bear hug from Al Gore."

More like Manbearpig [3] hug from Al Gore.

If you want Greenpeace to "slash your tires," drive cars like the Lexus Rx, Ford F-150 4WD, Jeep Wrangler 4WD or Ford Mustang.

And to those who dare to drive a Hummer, Ford Explorer or Cadillac Escalade, Marie Claire said: "We'll see you in carbon-emissions hell."

Marie Claire is published by Hearst magazines [4], the publisher of Esquire, Cosmopolitan, Redbook and O: The Oprah Magazine.