Food Nazis Launch Pogrom Against Breakfast Cereal Icons

By FMeekins
June 16, 2007 - 09:42 ET

Rest in peace Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, and Diggem the Frog as the latest victims of the New World Order.

Kellogg's has announced its classic sugary cereals will no longer be marketed towards children.

Ironically, the very same nutrition-crazed mothers with the sunken eyes that look so weak that they couldn't do a stitch of housework backing these measures ate the very same things in their childhoods and now want to deny this pleasure to their own offspring.

Interesting how it is alleged that these cartoon characters spark childhood obesity while a trio of animated condoms on the UN payroll or those Viagra and Valtrex commercials with the couples pawing all over each other strolling down a seculded beach don't titilate baser desires.

by Frederick Meekins

‹ This Memorial Day, weep for our failures Open invitation to the Troll -- The Peanut Gallery ›

Comments Policy

All comments are owned by whoever posted them and are subject to our terms of use. They should not be assumed to represent the views of NewsBusters.

Viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

I hate how these moms have t

June 18, 2007 - 11:49 ET by ErgoDyne

I hate how these moms have threatened to sue Kellogg's if they don't change their recipes.  How ridiculous is it that if they don't get their way, they're going to sue and make up everyone else's minds for them in the process?  Whatever happened to free choice?  Last I checked, no court-order was issued to force people to eat Kellogg's, right?  No law saying everyone must eat Oreo's either, yeah?

I'm sick of this litigation-happy society.  If you don't like something, don't purchase it.  Use the power of the almighty dollar.  That's the motivation for most (all) companies out there.  If they don't get their money, they will change, but don't force them to change just because you can't stop buying these foods for your kid.

Bottom line: You are the parent, not the companies. If you don't want your kid to eat it, DON'T BUY IT! 

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

How sad to be the parent wh

June 18, 2007 - 13:53 ET by Conservative Voice

How sad to be the parent who thinks Tony the Tiger has more influence over your child than you do.

Penguin Pebbles

June 18, 2007 - 14:01 ET by Cool Arrow

Send in 5 box tops (or some reasonable facsimile thereof) and a donation will be made to the Save the Arctic foundation

BTW, kiddies.  You and the parents you rode in on are too stupid to know which end of the world penguins live.

}}}------------> thanks botg

It's sad that some pare

June 18, 2007 - 16:35 ET by unctuous_underwriter

It's sad that some parents will blame any and every external source before taking a good long look at themselves.

Freewill

June 19, 2007 - 12:08 ET by Unsane

That is because some parents, adults, and the children they raise, refuse to believe in or even attempt to understand the concept of freewill.

MAKE WAY FOR THE SAN ANTONIO SPURS!!!  THE 1999, 2003, 2005, AND 2007 NBA CHAMPIONS!!!!

I heard Tony is safe

June 18, 2007 - 17:54 ET by LionKing

I heard the Tony the Tiger is safe right now.