Today's starter: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a conservative broadcast network anchor, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? (read on for answer)
The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
Editor at Large
Comments Policy
The Liberals think Jesus is a myth...or not
March 4, 2007 - 15:19 ET by derbalAm I the only one who finds it amazing that (speaking of those who think Jesus is a mythical figure) all of a sudden the far left is jumping on this bandwagon about those bones someone claimes are Jesus'? I thought they didn't want anything to do with Jesus. Now they're trying to prove he existed. There's an agenda here, I just know it.
Well, yeah -- they wouldn't
March 4, 2007 - 16:38 ET by dervishWell, yeah -- they wouldn't have any problem with Jesus if they can prove he's dead.
It seems that the old "
March 5, 2007 - 14:48 ET by Tim the EnchanterIt seems that the old "God is dead" crowd is still with us- they've changed their names but not their stripes.
Remember this chestnut?
"God is dead." ...Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead." ...God
Rim shot
March 4, 2007 - 15:19 ET by acumenHillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers a question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth."
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"
Just then the bell rings for recess.
Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess.
When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question?"
A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary point him out and asks him what his name is.
"Larry."
"And what is your question, Larry?"
"I have five questions:
First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?
Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?
Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?
Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
Fifth - what happened to Kenneth?"
Vince Foster knows."He w
March 4, 2007 - 15:30 ET by kathleenirishVince Foster knows.
"He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere" -Ali ibn-Abi-Talib, 4th Islamic Caliph
Katy, if you PM me you will see why this comment bothers me.
March 4, 2007 - 15:32 ET by acaiguanaKaty, if you PM me you will see why this comment bothers me.
ACA
...
Quoted from: 'Acaiguana Notes from the Bomb Shelter' (soon to be a movie at theaters near you)
Foster
March 5, 2007 - 05:46 ET by CarpareusD. straight ma'm.
MSM & Troop Morale
March 4, 2007 - 15:38 ET by BlondeYou think lousy reporting or mis-reporting of the situation in Iraq doesn't affect our troops' morale? Think again.
This video, entitled Living With Snipers is an interview by Pat Dollard of a unit manning an outpost in Iraq.
It runs about five or six minutes. Definitely worth the watch.
Note at the end, how upset the young officer is about the newsie who showed up, only to spout lies in the piece he wrote once he left.
I am furious at the MSM and what they're doing on a daily basis.
Blonde, thanks for that vid
March 4, 2007 - 16:56 ET by DontFeedTheTrollsBlonde, thanks for that video link. Our guys are the greatest and I wish them the best.
D
Native Americans didn't believe in secure borders. Look what happened to them.
Blonde, thanks for the link.
March 4, 2007 - 17:05 ET by rimskyBlonde, thanks for the link. The videos are great!
Blonde...Great link, a thousa
March 4, 2007 - 19:03 ET by Clear thinkerBlonde...
Great link, a thousand thank you's!
The liberal MSM has become an enemy of the USA.
Hey Clear,You're welcome.I wi
March 4, 2007 - 19:08 ET by BlondeHey Clear,
You're welcome.
I wish we could make Nancy Pelosi watch this...with her blinky eyes propped open a la Clockwork Orange. And her leashed dog Murtha, too.
"We support the troops"....but.
BS! I loathe them all.
Dittos Blonde
March 4, 2007 - 19:12 ET by acumenDitto CT's response Blonde. Two thumbs way up!!!
ac,Glad you all liked it. I
March 4, 2007 - 19:18 ET by Blondeac,
Glad you all liked it. I did.
And I think it's important that we recognize and truly think about what these wonderful young guys are doing for us on a daily basis. Sometimes it's just too easy to get caught up in the day-to-day activities of our lives.
And while I'm at it...why haven't we heard any success stories? I've read that the violence in Baghdad is down by almost 80%, security is such that the Iraqis are becoming more comfortable with the American presence....but not one bloody word from the MSM. Despicable.
Loved it Blonde
March 4, 2007 - 19:26 ET by acumen"And while I'm at it...why haven't we heard any success stories?"
I think the gentleman in the video explained that better than I could.
Thanks again for taking the time to share with NB the rest of the story.....
fCourage
March 4, 2007 - 19:34 ET by BarberianNote the way these heros deal with their now everyday life. How many of us could do the same? There's no whining about why they are there, only a pride that they know they are making a difference in peoples everyday life. How many of you here in the U.S. perform normally mundane duties like going to the grocery store with the thought that you might not make it back home. These people did everyday under the previous regime, and still do but to a much diminished conclusion. Why? Because of those that wear THE uniform are a more attractive target. Damn them to hell, that deminish the heroic efforts of our people over there though lies. I live it and see and it angers me.
Sorry. I got carried away!
Barberian,I live it and see a
March 4, 2007 - 19:51 ET by BlondeBarberian,
I live it and see and it angers me.
I know you do, and it does. That was the point of my post.
I'm furious that we don't have a video like this played three hundred times a day on the MSM. We, as a nation, need to get our heads out of our a**es and pay attention.
Of anyone here, you are entitled to get carried away...any time you please...have at it! I'll be right there cheering you on.
Thank you, thank you, for what you are doing.
I can relate Barberian
March 4, 2007 - 20:03 ET by acumen"How many of you here in the U.S. perform normally mundane duties like going to the grocery store with the thought that you might not make it back home."
Well, sometimes when my wife is driving......
Seriously Barberian, I can understand and share your outrage. I guess that's why most of us are here at NB - to fight the enemy within.
What gripes my butt more than anything else is knowing that many of these heroes would be home with their friends and families if not for the American media continuosly giving aid and cover to the terrorists. From CNN propping up Saddam to Green Helmet Guy to the illusive Capt. Jamil Hussein the media's distorted coverage of the situation in Iraq only serves the terrorists. This disgusting propaganda thinly disguised as reporting only emboldens the terrorists and gives them hope that if they can hold out a little longer the American media will win the war for them. Disgusting.....
Blonde that is the funniest thing you've ever posted
March 4, 2007 - 19:32 ET by Carl Kolchakwith her blinky eyes propped open a la Clockwork Orange
Blonde, I am crying laughing. That is the funniest thing I think you've ever posted. Can't you just imagine Pelosi forcing everyone to watch Gore's movie like that. If anyone disagrees with Gore after that, they'll want to vomit, and won't be able to function in society properly. I can just see her forcing all people who don't think Al Gore is the greatest movie maker of all time, to have devices on their eyes that won't allow them to close their eyes while constantly watching Gore. Just be careful where you sing certain songs at though, as that could be very dangerous.
Great post Blonde
Well thanks, Carl.That Clockw
March 4, 2007 - 19:44 ET by BlondeWell thanks, Carl.
That Clockwork Orange scene just has always stuck with me for years....
Effective, yes?
Very effective Blonde
March 4, 2007 - 21:31 ET by Carl KolchakYes, Blonde they were very effective in making sure he couldn't think for himself anymore weren't they?
I really don't think Pelosi is that hardcore that she would make people watch Gore's movie like that scene, but that movie really makes you think about your government doesn't it?
BondeI am begining to wonde
March 5, 2007 - 07:47 ET by Right2thePointBlonde
I am begining to wonder about some women on this orb.
If you remember the rape scene from Clockwork where he did the major wardrobe malfunction to the ladies dress to expose her breasts.
The last three women I dated and offered me dinner at their home seemed to have a fixation for the same dress.
On the third occurrance in a row, I was just sitting there at dinner calculating the odds of such a strange chain of events.
Oh and for the manpigs here that wish to know. C, D, and god awful big.
We need to have ten's of hund
March 4, 2007 - 16:39 ET by tkeefeWe need to have ten's of hundreds of knowledgable men and women like them speak the truth of the matter. Good read. http://www.lse.co.uk/ShowStory.asp?story=CZ434669U&news_headline=global_warming_is_lies_claims_documentary
Carbon Credits
March 4, 2007 - 17:25 ET by jaywlI know readers are confused about these carbon credits Big
Al is buying from his own company. I won’t try to explain how the TVA is
reducing the amount of coal it is using, but I know he means well. I now offer
you readers the opportunity to match his devotion to the commonweal.
To help you with your effort in getting right with God and
his (Al's) earth I am offering, viva continunum, five large cedar trees. These trees
are approximately 40 feet tall and 30 feet in diameter. Calculations have
determined the total uptake of carbon at 4.5 X 10” carbon/lb/day, or in
layman’s terms, over 135000lbs a month of carbon offset for each tree. You must
figure out your needs, but I am sure that most of you with a busy lifestyle
will need to purchase the use of two of my trees. That would only amount to $2700
a month. You might be thinking that you could use your own trees for this. This
is not possible; the UN environment plan incorporating Kyoto within the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change, section... well details,
details. Anywho,
unless you have trees you plan on cutting down, in which case you would
have no trees to use for your offset, so its ipso factorum. You see?
I, on the other hand, have these trees in my back yard. They
are registered with my homeowners association (silly isn’t that). If the carbon
credits inherent in the cedars are not subscribed to by a date certain, I will
cut them down. If that happens the carbon uptake they have been blessing the
planet with for well over 200 years will stop. Yes, these trees are old and are
on land contested for during the Wilderness Battle of the War for Southern
Independence. I would hate to lose them. It sure would mess up my yard. Make no
mistake though, it would be done. My father said I should offer to plant trees
instead of this deal and said other companies are doing this. I explained to
him that one tree planted is equivalent to one tree not removed. However, the cedars cover most of my back yard
so I have little space for a tree farm. Besides, if I sell the credits this way
I won’t have to do any work at all! If $2700 seems a bit much, call, I am sure
we can work something out.
My personal card is enclosed, check or money order only,
please.
No No NO, jaywl's proposal is too expensive.
March 4, 2007 - 17:30 ET by acaiguanaNo No NO, jaywl's proposal is too expensive.
Send me your cards and letter folks (with something green inside) and I will promise not to have any more children. Children are living breathing carbon life units that produce (like crazy) CO2 like it was going out of style.
ACA
...
Quoted from: 'Acaiguana Notes from the Bomb Shelter' (soon to be a movie at theaters near you)
So you're holding your own tr
March 5, 2007 - 04:46 ET by Carbon SasquatchSo you're holding your own trees for ransom--excellent. Kind of like the sheriff in Blazing Saddles taking himself hostage. I'm not in the market for carbon offsets, but let me know when you cut them down, as I might be able to take some firewood off your hands, for a modest fee.
Luv yer login.
March 5, 2007 - 08:04 ET by CarpareusLuv yer login.
I've got a big bad wood chi
March 5, 2007 - 07:21 ET by Right2thePointI've got a big bad wood chipper driven by a 283 chevy engine. Those cedars would make nice room deoderizers.
Ah, you and Saddam, the woodchippers. Sorry, could not resist.
March 5, 2007 - 07:25 ET by acaiguanaAh, you and Saddam, the woodchippers. Sorry, could not resist.
:-)
ACA
...
Quoted from: 'Acaiguana Notes from the Bomb Shelter' (soon to be a movie at theaters near you)
I don't do mother in laws r
March 5, 2007 - 08:37 ET by Right2thePointI don't do mother in laws regularly, only for friends! LOL.
Anyone gonna watch the Jesus
March 4, 2007 - 19:04 ET by balboaAnyone gonna watch the Jesus Tomb special tonight?
"Santa Claus, the tooth
March 4, 2007 - 19:31 ET by schmidt"Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a conservative broadcast network anchor, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?"
Santa claus picks it up to buy a food certificate for the drunk.
The conservative spin artist calls him a bleeding heart liberal.He wants to sidetrack the country from a bad econonomy and gives the reason why we need to have a war.
The drunks' grandkids are still paying for the war since Democrats had to raise taxes to pay for the debt.
The tooth fairy never gets any money under the pillow from the poor grandkids. She responds to vitriolic fairy attacks by Anne coulter and Newsbusters. She responds to the attacks defensively and then is banned from the site.
Isn't fairy homophobic?
March 4, 2007 - 19:39 ET by acumen"fairy"? Isn't that a homophobic term? Off to rehab with you.......
Huh?
March 4, 2007 - 22:53 ET by UnsaneThe Democrats, raise taxes to pay for the debt? Where were you from 1955-1995, when they ran the House, and the House Ways & Means Committee?
Besides, why raise taxes when they can do what you most want them to do anyways: steal from the successful and the productive in society in order to reward and coddle failure?
"HAV3 TH3 BRIDG3S OF INSANITY B33N CROSS3D AND FOR3V3R R3TRACT3D???." - Meshuggah, "3ntrapm3nt", from Catch Thirty Thr33 (2005)
Here's something that could b
March 4, 2007 - 19:36 ET by balboaHere's something that could be really interesting: Comedy Central is having four Arab comedians on a special called Axis of Comedy next Saturday at 11. Could be funny stuff, and at least interesting to see what they say.
Two Arabs are sitting in a Ga
March 4, 2007 - 20:27 ET by Roger the ShrubberTwo Arabs are sitting in a Gaza Strip bar chatting over a pint of fermented goat’s milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son, he’s a martyr."
"This is my second son. He is a martyr also."
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully,
"They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
Oh that's bad. Hilariously ba
March 4, 2007 - 21:10 ET by balboaOh that's bad. Hilariously bad.
Roger that was funny, sick
March 4, 2007 - 22:54 ET by radiofitz34Roger that was funny, sick but funny. By the way how does one go about selling carbon? Get yer carbon heea. Come get yer carbon it's going fast. After I sell my carbon, I still have zircon encrusted tweezers. 2 for a dolla.
YES! Roger, you are a sane
March 4, 2007 - 22:58 ET by Chicago RepublicanYES! Roger, you are a sane libertyordeath. Funny!
**************
Support the Spread of Open Society and Capitalism around the World. Do it for the Children.
Great read on debunking glo
March 4, 2007 - 20:29 ET by bobthemanGreat read on debunking global warming... link courtesy of drudge:
http://www.lse.co.uk/ShowStory.asp?story=CZ434669U&news_headline=global_warming_is_lies_claims_documentary
You know, I was past irratate
March 4, 2007 - 21:36 ET by bigtimerYou know, I was past irratated today when the media went nuts for this race for the black vote between Clinton/Obama...they had overview and commentary on CNN...the usual spin.
They both had their speeches in black churches, seems hypocritical to me, I recall I do not know how many times the leftist screaming about conservatives using churches for political purposes...well if this wasn't what is...
Hypocrites all in the leftist msn....
Dang it gets old...
Btw...I heard parts of both speeches, the Screechster did her usual screeching after awhile, Obama was his usual phony empty self, but of course gave a better speech....a lot of lying political rhetoric by both.
But hey vote for me....I am the best candidate for you... the black voter...how sad.
All done in a church by both...no mention of this by the gushing leftists...not one word.
Here is a link if anyone is interested, just hope it works.http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/04/us/politics/04cnd-selma.html?em&ex=1173157200&en=fca22f886c71e6bd&ei=5087%0A
In honor of Algore, I've de
March 4, 2007 - 22:04 ET by liberal_bug_zapperIn honor of Algore, I've decided to begin increasing my carbon footprint in order to offset the global warming alarmists cutting back. I now burn lots of paper every day, just to add to the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. I hope to get rich and get the most gas guzzling monstrosity of a car, boat and airplane that I can just so I can pollute. I'll make it a summer pilgrimage to go out on my boat with several hundred gallons of crude oil, capture otters, birds and other wild life and coat them with the oil. Then, I'll take my next vacation in upper Canada and go clubbing seals, record it on video and post it to YouTube claiming the video is about saving seals... then, let the carnage begin.
Oh, and I promise to call as many liberals 'Faggot' a day as I can just to tick them off.
____________________________________________________
"Lead, follow or get out of the way." ~ Thomas Paine
your "Faggot" comment
March 5, 2007 - 04:01 ET by CarpareusAnne's comment was inspired. I'm certain she has at least two weeks worth of that beautiful black dress.
Carp
Drudge RIGHT NOW
March 4, 2007 - 23:36 ET by CarpareusDrudge RIGHT NOW- excellent.
Spike's Pac signal- Godfather II.
I got 'em both on.
Carp
I prefer being on the back side of the optics.
The enemy of a probable FRIEND- let alone...
March 4, 2007 - 23:55 ET by CarpareusAnyone classified by the PRC as an "Enemy of China" is a friend of mine.
To reiterate... Drudge RIGHT NOW- excellent.
Still with Godfather II on Spike.
Billary sux. Actually it's probably because she WOULDN't suk...(please excuse preceding coarse language).
/I prefer being on the back side of the optics.
GF II Pac Bcast update- Michael just got back to the Tahoe spread.
a lot of buffas
March 4, 2007 - 23:58 ET by CarpareusLOL- "The family's got a lot of 'buffas'."
If I saw that thing on the
March 5, 2007 - 07:37 ET by Right2thePointIf I saw that thing on the end of my thing it would instantly shrivel up out of self respect.
Tanks- tanks a lot.
March 5, 2007 - 07:59 ET by CarpareusTanks- tanks a lot.
"...never all that pleasant..."
March 5, 2007 - 01:12 ET by CarpareusArt's on 8>D.
GF II still on Pac Spike signal.
Carp
"It's OK to dream the impossible dream as long as you wake up in time." copyright by me 2000
stow all frangible objects warning in effect
March 5, 2007 - 01:33 ET by CarpareusI mean ****! Art just reported THIS- stow all frangible objects warning in effect.
In the event you believe you may be hallucinating after reading the above link,
1. relax
2. contemplate your navel
3. run appropriate parts of the text in your favorite search engine only to find multiple links
GF II just ended with Michael contemplating his Dad's use of navel oranges (dang that was an above average albeit a tad tangental one iffin ad du sey so mah-seff and I do)
Ok, talking to yourself isn
March 5, 2007 - 02:21 ET by liberal_bug_zapperOk, talking to yourself isn't considered normal in most parts..... is there someone else in the conversation that I don't see here?;p
____________________________________________________
"Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice." ~ Thomas Paine
you tell me LBZ
March 5, 2007 - 03:49 ET by CarpareusUh...you tell me LBZ...when Newsbusters (I became a donating member recently) upgrades servers maybe someone can think of a different way for ongoing post comments to be made without having to reply to one'self (copyright [tm+sm] so that it won't raise the talking to yourself false flag.
Carp
How about gathering your th
March 5, 2007 - 04:14 ET by liberal_bug_zapperHow about gathering your thoughts on a word document, and then posting them all in a single post? I'm not complaining, I'm just stating it is unusual behavior to create post after post after post.
____________________________________________________
"Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one." ~ Thomas Paine
was kind but NOW I see (copyright, etc. 8D)
March 5, 2007 - 04:54 ET by CarpareusAh...I believe I see the knot. The posts that you referred to were a series of real-time streaming comments that were time sensitive and therefore I continued to post and attach them to (my) earlier posts to maintain continuity. If I may be of any further assistance please do not hesitate to ask.
Carp
Check the current user/guest ratio.
March 5, 2007 - 05:05 ET by CarpareusCheck the current user/guest ratio. That means now as in real- time 8D.
D*** they're quick
March 5, 2007 - 05:11 ET by CarpareusD*** they're quick. 1400 guests dropped off just after that "check the user/guest" post.
Boo!!!
March 5, 2007 - 05:17 ET by CarpareusUn******* real almost- now another 1400 guests just dropped off. The guest count went from 4100 to 2700 to 1400 (approx counts) PDQ! Not bad while we had 4 users. I think it may have been my subject title on an earlier post back to you LBZ that caused the original surge. Don't cha just LUV realtime 8>D?
Carp
Ok, while I may not always
March 5, 2007 - 09:42 ET by liberal_bug_zapperOk, while I may not always read everyone's post in a long thread, I'm really not following yours... and I've read every word.
My suggestion.... cut back on the caffeine.
____________________________________________________
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it." ~ Thomas Paine
Check your six
March 5, 2007 - 11:31 ET by CarpareusCheck your six- your ignorance is flapping in the breeze 8>D.
Um... ok, my six... I read
March 5, 2007 - 11:48 ET by liberal_bug_zapperUm... ok, my six... I read through your comments, even followed a link... still don't get the train of thought... and the lack of a coherent thought and the 16 year old style leet speak is throwing me as well.
Of course, I wouldn't want to incite a crazy person... so please, carry on.
____________________________________________________
" We can only reason from what is; we can reason on actualities, but not on possibilities." ~ Thomas Paine
Wherever you go, there you are
March 5, 2007 - 12:16 ET by CarpareusEyes front- now look directly down.
If I can be of any further assistance just ask.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Banzai
What's a "leet"?
March 5, 2007 - 12:18 ET by CarpareusWhat's a "leet"?
uh...Who's a "leet"?
March 5, 2007 - 12:23 ET by CarpareusAs in-
Um... ok, my six... I read through your comments, even followed a link... still don't get the train of thought... and the lack of a coherent thought and the 16 year old style leet speak is throwing me as well.
Of course, I wouldn't want to incite a crazy person... so please, carry on.
P.S. The ladies tell me I look young for my age but really...16?...so...what are you trying to say?
I STILL see your hammering and you STILL can't come in 8D
March 5, 2007 - 08:18 ET by CarpareusGotta run; just popped back briefly via side- door and something interesting is again starting to hammer... Wow
- again a series of hammers just now- gotta go- for more info PM me if desired and I'll get back after switch to new BB ISP, GLWATCDR, later today- a 'cause with my limited technical knowledge of wazzup right now I do know how to, at least temporarily, stop it.
c'yah'll
Must see Movie of 2008
March 5, 2007 - 09:54 ET by AgnosticFrom Yahoo News: Los Angeles (AFP) – A Hollywood studio plans a film on Valerie Plame, a glamorous CIA spy outed after her husband accused President George W. Bush’s administration of exaggerating intelligence to invade Iraq, entertainment daily Variety said Friday.
Sure.... We still do not ha
March 5, 2007 - 11:51 ET by BDSure.... We still do not have a film regarding the epic US Special Operations battle on top of Takur Ghar in Afganistan chronicled in the books "Not a Good day to Die" and "Roberts Ridge."
Nor do we have any film industry efforts to show the inherent heroism of the US troops fighting in Afghanistan, Iraq, Horn of Africa, or the southern Philippines, but we can show a film of a single CIA analyst purposely outed by her husbands efforts to discredit the US GWOT?
Shows you what side the film industry is on... The enemies....